Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Cancelling a holiday due to depression....

(18 Posts)
brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 10:19:23

Hi there, I hope this is in the right section blush

A bit of background:

I have suffered anxiety and depression in one extent or another for all my adult life.
When it is really bad I take medication and then my GP weans me from it when I feel I can cope again.

Two years ago I did a course of ERT and it changed my life and freed me completely from my anxiety and that in turn helped enomously with my depression.

The last 12 months have been very difficult, my husband and I seperated then divorced, another relationship ended badly and I have started life over on my own in a new house with my 4 DC.
Because of this I went back on my meds and all was ok until my GP suggested it was time to come off then again (2 months ago) and now I feel truely crap, don't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere, you know the rest I'm sure.

My question is, while I was on my medication and feeling ok I booked a holiday abroad for the children and I for later this month but now I don't feel able to cope with going.
Do you think feeling low and unable to cope is a sufficient reason to be able to cancel the holiday and get the money back with a letter from my GP or will my GP refuse?

Your thoughts and opinions good or bad are appreciated

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Mon 05-Oct-09 10:32:31

Hi. Sorry you're feeling so bad at the moment. If I were you I would go back to your GP and ask him to put you back on your meds. You obviously need them.....I'm not sure why your Gp would keep weaning you off them only for you to go back on them again when you hit rock bottom.
I'm sorry I'm not sure whether you will be able to get your money back on the holiday though your Dr. should provide you with a letter if you feel you couldn't cope with going. Though getting away may help. I know when I was in the pits of depression I went away for a week and I definately felt more refreshed when I returned home.

brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 10:50:31

Thanks kid smile

I know what you mean about 'getting away from it all' but tbh I find holidays stressfull anyway and I think that being abroad alone with 4 kids will push me to the limits and that isn't fair on them.

I already have days when i have to force myself to speak to them, how dreadful is that?

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Mon 05-Oct-09 11:34:27

That's not dreadful at all.....just part and parcel of depression isn't it? It's not something you can control.
Go to your GP and explain your situation regarding the holiday etc and I'm sure they'll write you a letter saying you're unfit to travel. Hopefully then you can claim some money back through your insurance?
Also ask your GP about your meds. If you are so unwell that you can't face going away etc then I definatly think you should consider going back on them.
I'd been on antidepressants twice before when I had a major depressive episode last year. I feel in such a good place now that I have no intention of weaning off my meds. They work...that's the main thing. My GP has even told me I should consider taking them indefinitely as I'm at high risk of 'relapsing'.

bigstripeytiger Mon 05-Oct-09 11:47:29

Speak to your GP about it, depression is as good a reason to have to cancel a holiday as any other illness.

Before you do that though it might be worth making sure that your insurance will cover you - did you declare your depression and have it included in your holiday cover, otherwise the insurance company might not pay out (I dont know for sure, but worth checking that you will get your money back before you cancel rather than after, IYSWIM)

brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 11:55:13

Yes that is good advice tiger, thank you, I will do that today

I love the place I am in when I am on my meds too kid. My GP says it's a false sense of happiness but I couldn't care less. When I am on my medication I enjoy my kids, can face anything and work longer hours therefore benefiting from a better standard of living. When I am off them I dread even the shortest time I have to endure the children, don't speak to anyone if I can help it, won't answer the door or the phone and work the fewest hours possible to get by.

That's not a life, is it?

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Mon 05-Oct-09 12:07:39

No it's not a life sad
I honestly think that for some people long term antidepressants are the only thing that will work for them. I understand that some people just need a short course and never go on to have a depressive episode again but you've already proved that you are not one of those people. The way I see it you have a hit rock bottom, you go on antidepressants, you plateau and start to feel better and get your life back and then once you're seen as 'better' you're taken off them. I honestly know some people ( not me!) who are extremely successful, happy, have ambition and drive who would not be able to function without their meds.

wannabe10 Mon 05-Oct-09 12:20:28

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but it will be seen as a pre existing medical condition and thus they won't pay out.......

kidcreoleandthecoconuts Mon 05-Oct-09 12:22:50

sad oh that's crap news then if that's the case.

IdrisTheDragon Mon 05-Oct-09 12:34:58

I too have depression and it is horrible sad. When I have had travel insurance, they have specifically asked about anxiety and depression and unless I pay more money, I am not covered for it.

YommyMommy Mon 05-Oct-09 12:38:36


So sorry to hear of ur crappy situation!

I hope u get it all sorted out!

Do you mind me asking what ERT is??

x x x

brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 12:48:07

ERT - Emotional Relief Therapy, it's basically acupunture but without the needles, you press on areas of your face to rebalance yourself. I can't recommend it highly enough

I have to go and take my friend to the station now but will return.
Thanks so much everyone

Curiousmama Mon 05-Oct-09 12:50:11

I hope if they don't cover you then you can get some meds and be feeling ok to go?
I'm on meds for panic disorder and know I'll probably always be on them, when I try to come off it comes back.

Be easy on yourself, you've been through so much and if you need a few pills to help you then so what? You're not alone.

It's a shame you couldn't get a friend to go with you to help out.

brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 16:59:47

Well I checked this afternoon and wannabe is right - i should have disclosed my depression on taking out the insurance.
I didn't think to do this as no questions were asked when I booked the holiday and opted for the insurance hmm

Anyway I have three options:

Go on the holiday
Lose the money
Feign a bad back and claim on my insurance (worried about the karma of that one)

I was thinking about what people have been saying on here - why do I come off my meds when I feel better when I know that it's only a matter of time before I feel crap and go back on them? I will put this to my GP who always sees it as a challenge to get me to cope without them which I obviously can't.

If I am destined to a life on medication then so be it, it can't be any worse than leading a 'half life' just getting through as best as I can.

There was a programme on the radio this afternoon about self help for sufferers of depression and thier families and the presenter mentioned that one caller obviously wasn't that bad because she continued to go to work hmm I continue to go to work as I am a lone parent and I have no choice and I bloody dread it every single day (councilling has shown my job is the root of my depression)
It just goes to show how little our illnessess are understood.

curiousmama my anxiety used to be at an all time high - panic attacks and ocd until I tried the ERT, it's expensive but is available on prescription.

bigstripeytiger Mon 05-Oct-09 17:10:25

I wouldnt feign a bad back. If you were succesful you would then have a documented history of back problems, which you would then have to disclose everytime you apply for insurance.

Do you think that the GP that you are seeing at the moment is a good match for you in terms of how you think about your difficulties? Is there anyone else in the practice that you could get another opinion from?

brazenhussy Mon 05-Oct-09 17:15:06

Funnily enough I don't have a regular GP, I just see whoever can fit me in, maybe that is the problem.
I have always preferred to see 'just anyone' as opposed to having to discuss my symptoms and feelings at length.

annh Mon 05-Oct-09 17:26:31

Don't feign a bad back because you will have to supply a letter or other evidence from your GP in order to get your money back, which obviously you will not be able to get. You may also end up unable to get travel insurance in future if you try to lie about your condition now.

Curiousmama Mon 05-Oct-09 22:46:52

Don't see just anyone. Find someone who you feel really hears you.

Why not chat with the practise manager or a nurse at the surgery and explain that you need to see a GP who specialises in depressive illness? Or at least who's clued up.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now