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Does anyone else find it really difficult to deal with crowds, or just lots of other people in general?

(8 Posts)
Flightattendnt Fri 02-Oct-09 07:05:54

I have felt Ok for quite a while - probably since the holidays began, really.

But since ds went back to school I've just had these awful feelings of fear and dread going out and about - it started off quite mild but has been building up to the point where I am just using the car every day for school, because I can't stand being in town on foot, it really freaks me out.

It isn't just town, either - they just finished a new college building at the bottom of our main road, which we are off - it's not near our house exactly but every time we walk anywhere, we have to negotiate sudden new crowds of young students, I mean it feels like thousands of them - great crowds waiting to cross the road there, walking up and down to town, just everywhere.

Town is also filled to the brom - we have the greatest concentration of students anywhere in England apparently - more of them than of residents...prob about 35,000 of each I seem to remember.

The summer was fine and I felt alright-ish (though I do have depression on and off) but now I'm a real state.

Going to school has always felt bad, but is worse than ever - I just can't bear being surrounded by everyone, and hearing them all chatting, I am just feeling completely overwhelmed - what I'd like to do, is pull ds out of it, and live out in the country and never go into town at all, but he likes school so I just have to get on with it.

I'd love to hear from anyone else who feels this way, because it is very very lonely at the moment and I can't tell anyone IRL because they wouldn't know what to say. the only person I told about it vaguely a while ago, said the right things then started trying to persuade me to come to M&T groups etc which is just my nemesis. sad
Thanks for reading.

YommyMommy Fri 02-Oct-09 07:38:18

Morning Flightattendant,

Do you suffer for anxiety too???

I find it diffucult to be in crouded places and tend to avoid visiting places on a Saturday when I know they will be more busy!!! I suffer with anxiety and its mainly down to that!

I don;t have much time to chat now as need to get my own DS's ready to do the nursery run, but if you have anything you want to ask I will b back around 9.30

{{{{{hugs}}}}} in the meantime!
x x x

Flightattendnt Fri 02-Oct-09 07:44:26

Thankyou, sorry you feel like this too - yes, anxiety I suppose is it.

I don't know - I just start to feel really threatened, almost makes me feel aggressive which I am not really the type iyswim.

It's really strange.

herbgarden Fri 02-Oct-09 20:32:34

Sorry you're feeling this way - it's horrible.

I've suffered from anxiety and panic in the past and find that too many people/crowded places can start to make me feel really hot and bothered and I avoid them if I can.

I really dislike the tube these days although used to use it all the time when I worked in london and wouldn't dream of doing, say, Oxford Street on a Saturday....I also don't like feeling "hemmed in " so I hate flying as well.

I don't think you're alone, I know quite a few people who find this heightens anxiety symptoms......

I'm not sure what to suggest really - I luckily don't have to face those situations any more but maybe you might need to get some counselling or behavioural therapy ?

herbgarden Fri 02-Oct-09 20:34:08

sorry, what I meant was I don't have to face them because my life is a bit different now and so I can avoid them if I need to !!.....

Frrrightattendant Fri 02-Oct-09 20:59:02

Thanks Herb smile

I am lucky in that I can avoid a lot of stuff, usually, but it worries me that it's getting to the point where I just don't want to go out at all.

I know I've coped with it in the past, and on a rational level it's all fine, but the change is within me - on some level I am not operating rationally at all.

I'm on a loooong waiting list for NHS CBT but it could be another few years or they might hav randomly removed me from the list (again) without my knowledge hmm

I drove out to a workshop in the country last week and got out the car, and it was silent - no people, just horses, fields. I felt alright there, but don't want to have to move house as we only moved into this flat last year and it was so stressful for ds.

I need to figure out some kind of coping strategy - my mother was sympathetic for once earlier, but she offered to do the school run 3 days a week and tbh that isn't going to solve anything. That would just be dodging it.

womma Wed 07-Oct-09 12:16:25

I understand exactly what you mean, I even find one to one contact with strangers very hard.
Not sure what the best thing to do is, it's obviously anxiety...have you tried talking yourself through these difficult times, telling yourself that it's okay, you can deal with being around these people?

tvaerialmagpiebin Thu 08-Oct-09 17:35:33

I know what you mean. I don't like busy shops and the tube would be my idea of hell. I get anxious in places with lots of people especially strangers. If I am on my own I would stay in the house all day, if I am with ds I force myself out and it is not so bad.

Flight have you tried some of the CBT you can look at on-line. There is a course called beating the blues which your GP can refer you onto (depending a bit where you live. It is 8 sessions of about an hour. There is also this which you can use completely free.

I have not found CBT very helpful for the Things In The Past and am currently on waiting list for on the couch type therapy. But the CBT is quite useful in helping you see how you deal with things.

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