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is it PND

(22 Posts)
beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 20:28:47

My daughter has just turned a year and 2 weeks ago I went to the doctor as i was feeling down. if I am truthful I have been down since i've had K. The doctor gae me anti-depressants. They also said I could talk to about my problems with someone if I wanted. I have not taken the tablets and my HV is going to come round later in the week to talk to me.
I don't feel down all the time.
I wanted a natural water birth and this did not happen.
My waters were broken, I had 3 bottles of gas and air, an epidural and then was taken to theater and given a spinal block and was told I was to have a c-section. In the end K was delivered by forceps after a failed vontuse. I had to be cut and also tore inside.
the thing I remember most is seeing 2 doctors inbetween my legs stiching me up.
I think tht this is my problem that I did not get the birth that I wanted.
I now have flashbacks of this advent when I have sex with my partner. I just see the 2 doctors stiching me up.
does anyone else have the same problem.

WideWebWitch Tue 07-Jun-05 20:34:56

I didn't have the same problem but I wonder whether Birth Crisis might be able to help with the birth stuff. You could do the Edinburgh test for PND here

WideWebWitch Tue 07-Jun-05 20:36:10

And there's MAMA here

Tipex Tue 07-Jun-05 20:37:05

beachbummum, poor you, how rotten to be feeling like you have for so long. It sounds as if you almost have a form of post traumtauic stress following your delivery. Could you try and have counselling specifically to address how you felt about it and how it affects you now? your health visitor may know of someone who offers this service. This alone may be enough to get you back on track without the medication altho that may also help, it depends how you feel about it. Is there anyone else you can talk to easily who could help you as well as the counselling?

lilaclotus Tue 07-Jun-05 20:42:43

hug
i am sorry to hear you had such a traumatic birth. i hope you can find some counseling and that your partner is understanding and supportive.

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 20:44:56

Is the Edinburgh test like the HV test as i know how to score low on this and find it c**p.

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 20:46:29

My partner is suportive and always asks how he can help. But it's hard to say that when you have sex all you think about is being stiched up by 2 doctors.

WigWamBam Tue 07-Jun-05 20:52:48

The Edinburgh test can only work, and the health professionals can only help you, if you are honest. The fact that you say you know how to score low on it tends to suggest that you're not telling your HV the truth, and if you don't then no-one can felt you fully. Depression could be part of the post-traumatic stree disorder, and your GP and HV can help you find the right form of treatment for it, but only if you're honest with them.

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 20:56:45

I hope the HV can help when she comes later in the week. I want to get better. As I Know that It will put a strain on my relationship if I don't get this sorted as I need to start to enjoy sex again.

WigWamBam Tue 07-Jun-05 21:00:53

Don't put too much pressure on yourself, look after yourself first, and then the relationship and sex stuff will follow on. Your partner needs to be understanding, and he needs to know that it will take time to get over the traumatic birth. If you put too much pressure on yourself to "need" to feel better for the sake of your relationship then you'll just make things worse.

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 21:04:49

thanks for the advice WigWamBam

Tipex Tue 07-Jun-05 21:06:18

agree with WWB, often worrying about enjoying sex is guaranteed to make you anxious about it. Could you agree with DP to avoid all actual sex for a set amount of time to take any pressure off and just go back to cuddles etc. If this is th main issue, it may be that psychosexual counselling would be the best bet. There may be a huge wait on NHS but relate will do this to some degree and arent expensive (they do reduced rates also if you are on a lower income). The other thing you could ask for is a debrief session with a midwife/consultant at the hospital to go over the birth and why deciswions were made etc. Not sure if this would make things worse or better for you but it can be helpful if you have unresolved issues about the events as the took place. Be honest with your HV and GP and ask for help, but most of all give yourself a break. You've been thru one hell of a time not just with the birth but with feeling so rotten about it for long and it will take time to get back on track, but you will do.

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 21:12:26

the counselling may be a option will talk to the HV later in the week and say what ha been suggested. thanks for the advice. this is my firt time on this site after it was recomended by a friend it's fab and it's so good to talk to other people.

Tipex Tue 07-Jun-05 21:13:20

BBM, bet it wont be your last time on here tho! it gets a bit addictive!

beachbummum Tue 07-Jun-05 21:16:27

i Know i am sopose to be doing something else on the computer should really log off now and get on with it and log on again tomorrow.

lilaclotus Tue 07-Jun-05 21:17:56

take care and keep us posted

beachbummum Thu 09-Jun-05 07:23:41

i waiting for the HV to phone and let me know what day she is comming. speek soon.

LottieG Thu 09-Jun-05 07:31:23

beachbummum - I just wanted to say I can understand how you are feeling. I still can't write about my daughter's birth without crying, it was so frightening. She is similar age to your daughter, 13 months.
She was born in Portugal and I had a horrible induction, no pain relief, 23 stitches.
Have not had sex since the birth.


Anyway, just wanted to say I DO have the same problem and you are not alone. Please let us know what HV said. Good luck.

beachbummum Sat 11-Jun-05 17:33:48

LottieG
it's good to know that i'm not alone.
Have you spoken to your HV. Mine did not ring so i hope that she rings next week if not i will have to ring again.

beachbummum Sun 12-Jun-05 20:28:50

LottieG
hope you had a good weekend i went shopping on Saturday to buy some new underware and clothes. i never had a problem with this before i was pregnnt but found it hard to find anything that i liked. reason, to revealing, too old, don't like.

Guardianangel Sun 12-Jun-05 20:41:23

mmm,does sound a touch of the PND. Best not left luvvy. Good that HV coming this week. Take as much counselling as you need (normally only offer 6 wks worth) I found what I thought caused the PND wasnt at all. Talk about a bag of new worms!!
Anyway delivery definatley needs discussing. (similar experience)took me 2 years to get out of the mess. Still all over for me now.
**sprinkle** of angel dust to help you on your way.

beachbummum Wed 15-Jun-05 21:43:57

Tanks need to ring HV again as not seen her yet,

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