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My mum's depression is back...

(3 Posts)
FrumpyPumpy Tue 08-Sep-09 21:56:45

And has been for the last 6 months, up and down, on and off, but only tonight did anyone let me know.

I live 100 miles away, parents visit every week to see DS (nearly 6mo) and I suppose me. Dad (retired) and DB (unumployed) have gone to stay with family, I am am going tomorrow, mum on Thurs. I asked dad a 'housekeeping' question about where we are staying, to which the reply was that mum had not told him that, she's not been talking much, just sitting in the evening not able to speak much. Now the fact that she told me this thing (irrelevant detail) last week, and that she would probably have told him had he (db & he) not decided to go a day early while mum at work is just an illustration of how useless he is at communicating. No wonder she's depressed, but I don't know what I can do about it if I don't know. I am so upset and worried for her, WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME???? Yes I have a baby but I am on Mat leave, I could help. He frustrates me so much.

She is on ADs and has been for years, and has had counselling. I asked my dad if she'd been to the dr. she has tried to make an appointment but not been able to get through. (He doesn't work, he is able to make appointment!!!!). Agh. I'm sorry, this I am sure just illustrates my lack of understanding of mental health issues, it's probably me who is the problem, but still.

What can I do? Someone tell me how to help. Obviously am very frustrated with dad and brother, but also feel terribly, terribly guilty that I did not realise. sad

Please don't flame me. I'm just upset.

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 09-Sep-09 01:22:54

Can you talk to her about it?

Don't feel guilty. How could you have known she or anyone else hadn't told you?

ErikaMaye Wed 09-Sep-09 11:24:48

Don't feel guilty - people are very good at covering up how they're feeling, and if you're not right next door as well, how could you have known? Don't be so hard on yourself

Get your Dad to go down and make an appointment in person if she can't get through on the phone - it is a nightmare trying to book an appointment sometimes. If she's feeling bad again, that's really important, even if its just so that the GP can monitor her.

Just be there for her - find an excuse to call her and then stay and chat for a bit. Don't take it personally if she doesn't want to talk, too. By being there for her, and letting her know you will listen if she wants to talk, you are doing a lot more than you realise.

Here if you need to let off steam. x

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