Some of you know my current situation. DH and I are splitting, DS is 17 months and DS2 due end of November.
I'm trying to blame my tiredness on anemia(which is partly true) but I am doing less and less, cancelling plans and sleeping very badly. I am trying to force myself to get out every day. Seeing DS's smiling face is the only thing keeping me going.
I find myself thinking about how much I hate my life and just wishing I didn't exist most of the time. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't ever do anything stupid because I love DS too much. But I do know that if he wasn't here (and DS2) then I would find it hard to exist.
DH thinks he is being supportive by giving me hugs and being cheerful but I just want to smack him. I want him out of this house until we can move and he wont go.
I know he is holding out hope that we may grow to like each other again. I am so tired of holding out hope, I just want to move on if that's what needs to happen.
I'm scared. I'm exhausted. I couldn't bring myself to take ADs while pregnant even if I know they're safe...I hate myself on them and I can't do it.
I know I'm not making any sense...just need to vent.
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Mental health
Terrified I'm sliding...
5 replies
turtle23 · 08/09/2009 19:57
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