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I'm going to try to get some ad's tomorrow

(30 Posts)
Alambil Mon 07-Sep-09 23:20:07

and i feel wretched for it.... why is that?

dizzymare Mon 07-Sep-09 23:25:17

Lewisfan I read your earlier thread today, I'm sorry you're feeling like this, but good on you for having the guts to do something about it. It's never easy, no matter what the circumstances, to admit you need help x

nevergoogledragonbutter Mon 07-Sep-09 23:30:44

oh i started the same thread about a year ago...why does it feel like admitting defeat?...or something.

i'll tell you what they told me then.

you feel wretched because this is the nature of depression. i feels like defeat because of your negative mindset. are doing something positive and should be proud of yourself for doing something about it.

well, 1 year on, and i'm in a totally different place physically and mentally.

i'm happy. off the AD's after 8 months and really, i'm not sure i could have done it without the AD's.

Good luck tomorrow.

ErikaMaye Mon 07-Sep-09 23:30:59

In all honesty you're probably feeling wretched anyway, and need something to direct it all at I hope you do manage to get some, I know what a hard time of everything you've been having recently. If there's anything I can do to help, please let me know. Keep us up[dated. x

Sazisi Tue 08-Sep-09 00:07:56

I was in the same situation a year ago, and felt the same. I think one symptom of my depression was to beat myself with any stick I could find, and depression was a big stick itself hmm it's a vicious circle
The irony is I'd have sought help and recovered so much more quickly if I hadn't kept telling myself I was being weak and self-indulgent and just needed to pull my socks up etcetera hmm

Now, I think part of being strong is knowing when you need help and getting it.

Anyway, best thing I ever did; in a much better place now

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 00:09:23

i'll have to keep it secret... i know there's o shame in it but i just can't be doing with the incessant comments from my bitch of a mother (yes, i'm still furious)

thanks though... i've just got to convince them i need tablets now

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 00:13:39

Not suprised you're still mad, I bloody well would be - and am, on your behalf angry

Well you can always come on and talk to us about it all if you can't tell many people in RL. You'd be surpised how many people are on ADs without telling anyone. I know for a fact that two of my uncles are on ADs - they both told me to comfort me when I was first put on them, but haven't told each other!

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 00:15:07

can you ask for a specific type? its just that prozac seemed to work a bit a few years back (didnt take it properly tho) but citalwotsit made me psycho

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 00:15:49

Tell them that - let them know what you've been on before and what affect it had on you.

Sazisi Tue 08-Sep-09 00:16:15

I kept t a secret; it's a personal decision and you don't need to hear every old eejit's opinion when you are recovering from an illness
I didn't tell my parents, mainly I didn't want to worry them or know how bad I was feeling, but also I had no use for their views on ads (they would probably prefer I self-medicated with drugs/alcohol )

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 00:19:52

what if I cry? I'll feel like a right prat.

and I've got to take ds with me .... normally i'd leave him at my mums but THAT aint happening unless absolutely necessary

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 00:21:36

Its okay to cry You'll be discussing something very sensative and personal, of course you're going to be affected by it. I've cried before, as did DP when he went. No shame in it - you won't be the first, and you most certainly won't be the last.

Is there no one that could watch him for a little while?

Sazisi Tue 08-Sep-09 00:30:10

It will be easier than you think.
I cried trying to get the first sentence out blush the upside of this was that my gp could see how much I needed help

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 00:43:14

no, there's no-one

i'm sure it will be alright

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 11:19:13

i'm reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally nervous about going ... and I keep beating myself up for feeling nervous and I'm emotionally wrung out from yesterday's conversation with my mum and arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 11:49:23

Feeling nervous is okay too You'll be fine, hun. I'd offer to babysit but don't know where you are!! What times your appointment?

You're doing really well. x

dizzymare Tue 08-Sep-09 11:55:02

You can do this smile

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 12:49:17

If Dizzy says you can do it, you can do it, Dizzy is amazing grin

Am thinking of you. x

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 15:40:41

its at 4 20 - sorry, i've been asleep since 11am blush

i've just been served notice on my house too to make things better

ffs why does everything happen at once angry

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 16:55:58

Just seen this, expect you're back by now, hope it went okay x

Oh that's shit angry And yes, it always does, doesn't it?? Poor you... If you want to talk we're here.

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 17:35:24

I'm going to go to the CAB tomorrow but if I can't get anywhere, my lovely dad is going to lend me the arrears to get them off my back so its not so bad

I have the pills now - she was a lovely, lovely doctor who was very kind and I only let one tear escape AND I could keep talking (big thing for me)

I've got a review in a month but can call her at any time in a crisis.... isn't that lovely

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 19:00:24

oh and mum's just rang with a proper apology and I caved in and told her I got the pills... she was very non-"I told you so" which is a change... i even got brave and told her she hurt me (first time ever)

ErikaMaye Tue 08-Sep-09 20:10:20

Sounds like you've had a really positive, abeit difficult, day! I'm so pleased for you. Fantastic news about the doctor, having a good, understanding one is SO important. And I'm so proud of you (without meaning to sound patronising) about telling your mum she'd hurt you! That's fab! I'm totally in awe of you, I don't know if I could manage it.

Well done you!!!

Alambil Tue 08-Sep-09 22:02:36

thanks erika (and everyone else) - you've been really supportive and it made a difference...

nevergoogledragonbutter Tue 08-Sep-09 22:05:14

well done. your next thread will be titled .'when do the side effects go away and when will i start feeling better?'.

the shitty thing is that for a while you will still feel depressed but you will have some lovely side effects to deal with too. all you need when you feel you're already on your limit. but hang in there. you will feel better soon.

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