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When is it depression and when is life just hard

(7 Posts)
Icryintheshower Wed 02-Sep-09 09:11:35

I've namechanged as I'm having a hard time at the moment.

I have a 6 month old and a 3.5 year old who are both lovely but demanding. We moved when DS2 was 8 weeks old after much housing stress and are about to move again (once more temporarily). We moved to a new area so I'm trying hard to make new friends. I have family support but my parents are both dead so I also find that hard, especially at the moment.

I'm the kind of person who likes to be in charge and doesn't ask for help well. My DH is also not the most sympathetic of people. He's great in other ways but is the kind of person who doesn't want to hear about things he can't fix.

I thought I was fine and am a cheery, optimistic soul ... but I've just realised how often I cry in the shower in the morning.

I'd assumed that life is just hard at the moment but how do I tell if it is something more.

crokky Wed 02-Sep-09 09:16:33

I am no expert, but my opinion is that you have a lot of pressure at the moment, it is a very hard time so it could just be that.

I think it might be something more than a hard time if you can't see your way out the other side IYSWIM, ie do you see things being easier when your housing is settled or when you older one is at school - ie most of the difficulties will be resolved?

mooseloose Wed 02-Sep-09 09:32:13

I have suffered from anxiety for a while now, and had counselling. I want to cry when I am out, sort of that I am aware of myself and frightened, and the Counsellor said that is depression. I denied it saying ' no depression is when you dont want to get out of bed.'

No she said, when it stops you from carrying on normally and interrupts your normal patterns its depression. People say they are depressed but are just fed up for a while. But i have struggled to go into tesco, and walk to school a lot. Am getting over it now, but still have a feeling of dread come over me at times and want to cry when out - never at home.

Maybe you are run down, and tired - that makes a big difference to your happiness.

Do you get out - baby groups? the park, baby swim classes where you can meet similar mums?

Hope things ger easier x

BonsoirAnna Wed 02-Sep-09 09:34:44

If you are crying most mornings, you sound depressed.

What would make your life better right now? You sound lonely - would setting up seeing from friends help?

GooseyLoosey Wed 02-Sep-09 09:37:44

When I was suffering from depression, I was asked if I could remember when I last felt really happy. I could not.

I think it is depression when it has taken over your life and you cannot see how it can get any better. When your first thought of the morning is "god, how am I going to get through today".

Do you personally feel that this is as a result of moving and having very young children and the position will improve with time or are you feeling that "this is as good as it gets"?

notevenamousie Wed 02-Sep-09 09:41:26

It can be both.

Does it really matter why you feel like this, if something could help you not to?

In my own past history, I was depressed when I had severe hyperemesis and spent most of my pregnancy in hospital, vomiting, on a drip. It was the hyperemesis that caused the depression, but what does it matter - because treating it made me feel better.

Could you go and tell someone how you feel? It is horrible to feel as you do, I hope you can access something that makes you feel well again.

Icryintheshower Wed 02-Sep-09 13:29:29

I'm not sure - I think it is just the enormity of everything at the moment. I can see myself happy once we have the house issues sorted and term starts again. Maybe then it won't all seem so relentless.... I just can't see when that will be.

I am lonely. I see lots of people and am really making an effort but I haven't known anyone long enough to consider them friends if you see what I mean. Mt best friend forgot my birthday recently which has upset me far more than it should. We've sort of drifted apart since I had children and I haven't found anyone to fill the gap in terms of confidante.

But thank you all for your wise words.

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