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What to do when you know you need help, but no one can?

(9 Posts)
LittleMarshmallow Sat 22-Aug-09 22:37:24

I am struggling to cope, I feel like I have failed ds for many reasons not keeping him safe from xh is one.

I am trying to move house, and things keep going wrong. My solicitor is mad at me and unless I grovel on Monday might well stop acting for me. No one seems to be able to help.

I am not coping with life, I go to work and try and pretend to others that I am ok. I have barely eaten in weeks. I have a mouth infection which means I need to go to a dentist but I just can't get time off.

I havent slept properly for months, since things started in court with ds. I wake up around 3am having nightmares, then my brain keep thinking about things over and over again.

I can't get a doctors appointment till sept as my usual doctor is on holiday. I feel like I am failure and want to run away from everyone but I can't.

I have no idea how I am going to last till Sept 1st.

choosyfloosy Sat 22-Aug-09 22:53:46

Bloody hell, you have so much on your plate.

I know it's only one of the problems, but in your situation, I would go and see another doctor at the practice. Sometimes it's the random doctor you have never met before who hits the spot - that has certainly happened to me. At the worst, they're no use and you go and see your own doctor as you planned to anyway.

Why is your solicitor angry?

mumandlovingit Sat 22-Aug-09 22:58:25

can you not see another doctor there? you really need to speak to one and see if they can give you something to help you to sleep even, things always seem so much worse and harder to cope with if you havent slept. antidepressetns can work wonders for people in your situation, they arent just for long term depression they can be used for short term just to help you cope and sleep and get normality back. ive been on them for migraines and know other people who are on them through work related stress, back pain and other reasons so dont panic if they advise them or even to ask for them. there isnt such a stigma with them anymore and they really could help you.

speak to your boss and explain the situation or even see if the doctor can sign you off for a week or so just to get your head straight/mouth sorted and solicitor sorted etc.

have you spoken to a friend/relative who can help you and guide you through this tough time you're having? i dont know alot about organisations and which would be best but im sure someone else here will be able to advise you on those.

no matter what has happened in the past you are in the present and can change how things are in the future for your ds.you are doing your best and will get through all this.there is light at the end of the tunnel, you just need a little bit of help along the way.

bumping this for someone with more knowledge for you.good luck with everything x

LittleMarshmallow Sun 23-Aug-09 09:49:21

Thank you, the problem is I have had so much time off work with court, moving house etc that my boss is really unhappy about it all. He does know the situation about court but I don't think anyone understands how I feel.

My solicitor is angry because I am doubting her advice. She has only just told me that the legal aid I applied for covers the court appearences only and nothing else. I now owe her a lot of money also.

It just never ends, nothing is simple in my life and has become a standing joke with people I know, the only thing is I don't find it funny.

My mum and dad have been helping with the court stuff but they feel let down by the latest letter from the solicitor.

I have sought advice from various different people and everytime when I talk about the situation with ds they are shocked by no one will help or do anything so I am left to muddle.

mumandlovingit Tue 25-Aug-09 07:04:54

have you tried citizens advice? they should be able to help you and advise what you are entitled to and not. if you had to pay costs to the solicitor i would argue that that should have been clearly explained before she took on your case. what is covered by legal aid and not should have been explained and in my views, charges written down and given to you at each stage.not just suddenly lumped on you out of nowhere.

please do try a doctor or if you'd rather, go to a health shop, i know they do various different herbal approaches to depression and to lift the mood and help you cope.

good luck.xx

LittleMarshmallow Wed 26-Aug-09 11:16:06

Well I tried to get another doc appointment but there isnt one till next week, so will just have to wait and see what happens.

Feel like crap today and xh didn't help matters having a huge go at me sad

MummyDragon Wed 26-Aug-09 20:20:13

Can you phone up first thing tomorrow and ask for an emergency appointment? Coz it sounds as though you need a doctor to see you right now. Really sorry this is all happening to you. Try to get that emergency appointment. Don't worry if you're crying when you phone - it might make the receptionist bump you up to the top of the queue.

As for the solicitor - can you ask her why she didn't explain about the legal aid before now? Why were no leaflets provided? There will be a managing partner at the firm who will act as the complaints person - speak to him/her. You are the client, and the solicitor is not allowed to get angry with you - she is supposed to provide you with decent customer service.

I'm really cross for you. Please post on here (if you have time) and let us know if you can see a doctor tomorrow. Hope you get a good night's sleep - sounds as though you need it honey.

LittleMarshmallow Thu 27-Aug-09 09:43:07

Well, I called the doctors yesterday as because the contact arrangements have changed I can't go to my appointment now sad.
There were no appointments left till end of September so after loads of begging she said my doctor would call today at some point.

The thing that angers me the most about the solicitor is the reason I left my good solicitor was because of money and how I now qualify for legal aid. To be told that legal aid might only cover 4-5 hours of her time is shocking.

Contact this week was awful, thought xh might have finally decided to leave me alone, but instead he brought the gf, he wouldn't let ds out of the car until he had a go at me. No he wasn't shouting but then he never needed to shout at me to scare me. I just wish I could wake up from this nightmare.

MummyDragon Thu 27-Aug-09 12:25:37

You poor thing, can you take someone with you to the contact sessions, for moral support?

I hope the doctor has called you by now ... well done for sticking to your guns on that one.

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