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Dippy's Feelgood Thread of The Week - It'll make you feel a Leeeeeeetle Bit Better...

(9 Posts)
DippyDino Thu 20-Aug-09 00:25:48

I am a long time lurker on this section, having suffered from, at various times; anorexia, self harming / slashing, suicide attempt, depression, drug addiction (herion and crack cocaine) anxiety, abuse issues, panic attacks, health anxiety... okay well done for getting this far!

My anxiety and panic attacks were getting out of control and really holding me back - I got to the stage where even staying in the house was scary and I can honestly say that I was just terrified of life.

I finally went to my GP and they referred me for CBT (counselling).

It was hard work. I had to talk about stuff that upset me (not that I was forced, I felt I HAD to, for me) and sometimes it was just hard work and so tiring.

However. My life has changed beyond all recognition now.

This was the revelation. All the crap awful stuff that happened to me as a kid was not my fault. It happened. I had no control over it. I am not a bad person. There is nothing wrong with me, in any way shape or form.

I am, in fact, in spite of all the time I have spent hating myself for being a useless bitch / junkie / terrible daughter etc, I am a good and decent person in spite of that and my shite upbringing.

I had to learn to give myself a fucking break. I have worth and value. I'm not perfect, but who cares? I don't think I've ever met a perfect person.

So after having had this revelation, I decided to try something new - positive thinking and believing in myself.

Well bugger me if it didn't work like a charm!

I have only got GCSE's, but I applied for my dream job - and I told my self that I deserved to get it cos I was just what they are looking for - and I got it. It's in retail, entry level, I have no retail experience, havesn't worked for 4 years but they loved me and could tell I was really into it.

So I start work (still in shock) and I give it my best, I don't let myself get down if I make mistakes, i just keep going and I love it.

After 2 weeks they offer to train me up as a massage therapist at a spa that they own, (I do have massage qualification)then they will send me for an interview and if successful I will go down south for 2 months training.

If I am successful I will be earning more than Dh did before he gave up work...

And do you know what? - I know that if I give it my best I'll get it, I'm great at what I do, I was born to do it.

So I have come from such a big pit of darkness that I cannot even describe, but many of you will know exactly what I mean - to saying fuck it I'll give it a go, who cares if I don't make it, everything will be all right, to this place of having my dreams come true! And Dh cos he will be able to stay home with Dd while I work!

So no matter how bleak and shite things may seem, PLEASE remember that someway, somehow - it will be all right.

<gets off soap box>

DippyDino Thu 20-Aug-09 18:11:32

Anyone want to comment?
If only to say feck off you smug bitch?!

logi Thu 20-Aug-09 20:50:36

Good for you DippyDino im in a bit of a pit at the mo. its nice to read such a positive story.

blissa Thu 20-Aug-09 21:00:19

Great to read such a positive storey Dippy Dino. You must be so proud of yourself.

I've been struggling with anxiety since I was ill just before Christmas, but I am getting there.

Congratulations on your job, I too only have GCSEs and am really not sure what career I will be able to have after 8 years of being a SAHM. Good luck with your interview

DippyDino Thu 20-Aug-09 21:29:15

What career or job do you fancy doing, blissa?

blissa Thu 20-Aug-09 21:40:07

That's part of the problem I think Dippy, I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

I still want to be around for my dcs, my dp works long hours, so ideally it'd be a job with school hours. I quite fancy being a teaching assistant or working in a pre-school. I did look into teaching courses but I'd need to A-levels and then a degree before I could apply. I'd happily do courses, it's just the cost

EllieG Thu 20-Aug-09 21:50:36

Bloody fantastic dippydino! Hurray for you! I like stories like this, is just what I need to hear after my day, and has cheered me up nicely smile

DippyDino Thu 20-Aug-09 22:46:41

How about school admin?
'Dinner ladies' are quite well paid too!

blissa Fri 21-Aug-09 12:00:50

Yes I'd consider either of those. I've still got a year until ds start full time school to consider my options.

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