I probably wont explain myself properly I am with DS and he needs attention I've been on the laptop waiting for MN to come back
I am really exhausted, I mean well and truly spent.
My DS is 3 & has SN, he is being diagnosed but he has emotional problems and likely ASD. Yesterday he burst into hard tears suddenly saying "I cant find my home" This is pretty typical for us he is emotionally very hard. He is violent to me and DH too which at the moment isnt bothering me too much tbh. He is also very loving and attached to me (and me to him!)
I have been unwell for ages, I may have swine flu. But I have really terrible chronic migraines. Lately they have been excruciating. I am knackered. I work 4 nights a week, only 4 hours a shift but still. I have DS from 7 am when he wakes onwards, then get home from work at 10:30. The "extra" work that I do I do for myself when I can which is I write, because that is the only thing I want to do and I am raising my profile in the writing world via my blog. Which is going very well, I just made the top 10 most read Indy bloggers list so I wont compromise on that now. I only write a few days a week though at the moment though I would like more time.
DH works full time and he is very very good, especially compared to a lot of the men I see talked about here. He cooks dinner every night & helps with housework although he usually needs spelling out exactly what to do.
I am actually depressed at the moment which I havent been for ages I think. I am on prozac anyway, the highest dose they can give me. But physically and emotionally I just feel finished. I am so tired. My head hurts my back hurts, and most of all I am exhausted. DH is coming home from work today at 3 to help which is great but to be honest the hardest part of the day will be done by then. I will have already entertained & taken care of DS for 8 hours, done 2 meals, essential laundry etc. It isnt even 10 yet & I've already had an apple thrown at me and been punched in the face. After 35 mins of lovely cuddles though.
I just dont think I can carry on anymore. Maybe it doesnt sound too bad written out like this but I feel like I am stuck on this treadmill will almost nothing in it for me. I dont think I can carry on anymore but there isnt any other option as my DS needs me so much. What do I do?
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Mental health
I need help - what do you do when you are out of all personal resources physically and emotionally unwell, almost no support and you have a young child with SN. I dont think I can cope anymore.
16 replies
hereidrawtheline · 13/08/2009 09:52
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