NOT AGAIN!..................................

[youwouldntbelivewhoiamandprobw]

if i had my real mn name on here you wouldnt believe it so have used this one..i didnt think i would ever post htis but.......i have had enough.my head is full and i just want to go to sleep and shut it all out...i had depression a few years back and was on ad s am not on them now and in the past year have got though some really horrible stuff with out the ads..at the mo most things in my life are ok ,,but there are a few stresses which i wont talk about,,then thismorning when i thought i felt fine someone asked haow i was i burst into tears and ,noe i feel like my life has gone well for a few months and someone has realised and said oi ,,,you been ok too long and im at the top of the rollarcoaster waiting to drop ,,i am so scared i dont want to go down there again...........

[JoolsToo]

AAA?

[almostanangel]

yes it was me but nobody cared even when they didnt know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Toothache]

Oh AAA. I didn't see this thread. Sometimes I avoid the depression section coz it's got lots of bad memories for me. Are you okay?

[oliveoil]

Sorry you are feeling bad, but when people ignore my posts (lots) I just bump them up again.

And JoolsToo did respond.

x

[whymummy]

i'm so sorry almostanangel,i've not been on here today but like toothache i don't usually look on these threads because it just makes me worse than i already am and i'm crap at offering advice,sorry you're feeling down,i was pretty bad this week but just having long conversations with two friends(both mumsnetters)has made me feel a lot better,can you go and have a good chat with a friend?right now i'm playing loud music and singing along from the top of my voice that helps too hope you feel better soon

see?i'm crap at giving advice but i do hope you get that black cloud away from you

[Fio2]

sometimes I find that if something bad happens and I seem to cope with it well at the time, the shock and the depression may hit me months afterwards. maybe that has happened? It is a horrible vile feeling. Have you asked your GP to go back on ADs or is it soemthing you wouldnt conmsider?


and dont think people ignore you, the site moves that quickly sometimes that posts do get bumped off alot

[almostanangel]

thank you feel 100% better now ....but you know the feeling when you can tell your gonna go .dropping like a stone,,i was terrified.. picked my mum out and took her shopping got some fresh air ,,thank you,

[almostanangel]

i would rather not go back on them .but never say never

[emily05]

I was ads and got off of them a couple of years ago. Recently I have felt a bit low - so I have restricted my caffine and started taking St Johns Wort and feel a lot better. I hope that you are ok x

[natts]

hi you sound a bit like me. i have been of the anti d's for a short while and am trying to cope with out them. i have days where i also experience the roller coaster effect.and i think the fear of the decent is often worse than the actual. I also won't say never but i have had to change my day to day life to adapt to the new me. i struggle to keep above the d and have very low days when i feel i'm not winning. At least your talking and thats the main thing. Take each day as a new one and tell yourself today is a good day when you wake up each morning.psycological crap, but you actually start to think it is a good day after all. Also when you hit a hurdle don't say now it's a bad day.aim to make the next part of the day better than the last. hope i don't sound condiending.oh and i can't spell. good luck

[almostanangel]

thanks it really helps that someone understand the rollercoaster thing last time i felt like this i started taking IGNATIA its a homeopathic remedy made by nelsons and available in boots that was great i found even better than anti ds ,,ooh just looked in cupboard and found them so i will start taking them again try them if you can.

[natts]

thanks i will, have been toying with the st johns wart. but will give that a go for sure

[Evesmama]

im here honey

[almostanangel]

at evesmama...........and def give the ignatia a go i give it 100/100 and its herbal so hasnt got all the side affects of ads.good luck

[Evesmama]

how you doing today babe?

[almostanangel]

im doing good was teerified yesterday as had learnt to tell the signs of downward spiral.but i took my old ignatia and today i have been to have a facial and my hair conditioned and i feel great..so maybe was an off day not a more sinester sign

[Louise1980]

Glad you are feeling better today AAA. Sorry I dint see your thread yesterday as I want on very long. I know how it feels to recognise a bad day leading to a downward slope.

I just want to say well done for recognising it and not letting it get too bad. Its a great achievement. When things seem to be going good for me Im always waiting for things to go wrong, It feels too good to be true. Next time you feel like you are there cat me and I will pull you back over to the happy side.

x x x

[almostanangel]

thank you thats really nice of you same here you can never have too many cats! gees its hot!

[Evesmama]

well dont hun

glad you picked yourself up again!

so how many minutes till you fly off to paradise then??

[almostanangel]

eves mama..i spoke too soon!! there was a message on my answer phone my mum went to the dr as her legs are itchy and swollen he said heres some cream and that he wants to check her heart again..cause of fluid...now im thinking ,,we are off to oz in august for a very specail holiday ,,i cant go can i?? i cant leave her ...what if something happens i cant get back...........................................why did they have to bloody have me i have spent all my life since about 7 looking after her ,,dont get me wrong i love her but im not allowed to give my dh and dds all i want to as i am forever thinking well what about mum ....................................................................................if i was dead then i wouldnt have to deal with it

[almostanangel]

i just wanna smash something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

[almostanangel]

shit im losing it bugger bugger bugger cant keep my feet still wanna run..

[whymummy]

sorry about your mum almostanangel,i hope is not her heart,how long are you going for?

[almostanangel]

just over two weeks

[giraffeski]

Message withdrawn