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Anyone sick of being very shy?

(4 Posts)
wigglybeezer Sat 08-Aug-09 14:39:57

I am depressed and fed up of the lifelong restrictions being shy has placed on me. It is starting to affect my children now and I have decided to seek help (probably CBT).

I think the nearest DX for my symptoms would be Avoidant personality disorder. I'm not sure about social phobia as I have never had a panic attack, I actually cope okay in many social situation, especially familiar ones, but I then beat myself up about all the stupid things i said, mistakes made etc. later-on and feel full of self loathing.

I am the classic case of very bright in school and further education but achieved very little in RL (apart from family and husband).

I am very worried about making mistakes all the time (avoided driving lessons until 30's) and am very avoidant of making phonecalls to everyone except DH).

I have put off living anything but a narrow domestic life until I am over forty, is it too late to change do you think?

Anyone with a similar story?

Curiousmama Sat 08-Aug-09 14:45:49

Sorry to hear this. I'm not shy myself but dp's dd is. She's 21 and is just starting to gain confidence.

How old are you now? It's never to late to make the most of your brightness. You say you're over 40, that doesn't stop you doing things. If you could do anything what would it be?

I am an under-achiever too. I've never found studying easy but am very practical. You're lucky to not panic..I've had panic disorder and it's awful. Although I'm confident it just takes over..very odd.

I hope you get some replies from people who know what it's like to be shy..and tips to help you too.

mpuddleduck Sun 09-Aug-09 23:32:19

wigglybeezer, I'm not sure if I can help, I started looking at this forum as Iam wondering if I might be depressed. I feel as if I have no friends and nobody would care if I wasn't here.
I too am very shy, and like you after conversations which are usually fairly short I think of what I should have said etc,
My job makes me confident, but I think I hide behind my uniform (nurse), it is like Iam a different person.
I think you can change, my dh left in May, since then I have had to make phonecalls,and do things I would have avoided before he left. I even gutted my first mackeral on friday, I have eaten them for 20 years, but always relied on dh to do the yukky bits before.

loopylil Wed 12-Aug-09 19:11:39

you've achieved loads well done for making it this far in this crazy world! to have educated yourself, cultivated a working relationship with your husband and raised children thats amazing.
stop beating yourself with a stick theres plenty of sods out there who'll do that for you. be a good friend to yourself and list all your fabulous points. still waters run deep as they say so im sure you haven't got to 40 without garnering some wisdom and spreading some happiness through the person that you are introvert or not.
if you are keen to change now then you'll need to step out of your comfort zone -the only person who can do that is YOU but hooray! you get to choose something amazing to empower yourself so make sure its exciting (hangliding) and inspirational (new language perhaps?)take a deep breath and the rest will follow :-) X

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