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Just need to let it out

(22 Posts)
depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 22:55:01

I think I have PND, infact I know I have PND. DD is now 20 weeks and it seems to be getting worse. I plucked up the courage to ask for help from HV which really seemed to help (she visited me for a few weeks) but because I felt better I told her not to come anymore. She said she would ring me to see how I am doing but she has forgotten me sad

I am trying to get an appointment with my GP but it is hard because my other children are on their school holidays and when I have had the chance to go I could'nt get an appointment (did'nt really want to tell receptionist why I wanted one that day)

The days I am well, life is great! But on other days I cry, feel stressed and over whelmed at times, down in general and on myself. sad

I went to a (childrens) party today and felt so rubbish next to other people. I feel like I am letting my DC down by not being happy. Am crying now. Just need some help.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:05:22

I have nothing to be depressed about. I love my children - they are my life, I have a fantastic DH who I love with all my heart. My baby is very much wanted after much heartache. I have a nice home, enough money, don't have many friends mainly acquaitances (sp?). Life is good.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:05:49

Anybody around?

Sparkler Sun 02-Aug-09 23:14:34

You could have been me about 6/7 years ago. Those same words came from my mouth back then - "I don't know why I'm so sad/unhappy. I have two healthy dds, a husband who would do anything for me, a lovely home and a family who care for me very much."
I had PND which really started after DD2 was born but I didn't seek medical help until she was about 13 months old. DH took the brunt of it all, poor love, and kept telling me to get some help but I denied it all.
I eventually went to see the GP who prescribed me ADs which took the edge of things a little bit but not completely and I was told that it was a chemical imbalance that was causing me to feels this way. I also had some counselling sessions when things didn't improve - it made me see things from a different angle.
Get on that phone tomorrow morning - go to the GP surgery if you have to and make that appointment. Don't leave it any longer than you have to (like I did), you shouldn't have to struggle when the help is there.
Good luck <hug>

kormachameleon Sun 02-Aug-09 23:14:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dittany Sun 02-Aug-09 23:15:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kormachameleon Sun 02-Aug-09 23:16:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:19:54

Thank you - am crying again now. I know I need help, hate being this way.

Sparkler - Are you better now?

I don't think I want to contact my HV again as I am worried that she will start visiting again and then I will feel better and the visits will end - starting the pattern again. sad

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:21:24

I can't go to the GP until friday and it is hard to get an appointment, may have to ask for one on the day and receptionist will want to know why and then will probably tell me it is not urgent. hmm

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:22:57

I feel sorry for my DC. I know I am a good mum but I am not happy and that must rub off on my DC especially my 7 year old. I do try so hard, just so down.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:24:06

I feel like the 'system' is letting me down. I need help but am struggling to find a way to get it.

Sparkler Sun 02-Aug-09 23:25:29

I'm much, much better now. I was on and off the ADs for a few years afterwards but have been off them this time since just before Christmas last year smile.
Things will get better - just give it time. Your baby is still little, you are tired. It's not an easy time even for those that are feeling high as kites!!! smile
Just hang in there, get an appointment asap and look after yourself.
Just as importantly......
- don't deprive yourself of sleep (one of the worst things to make you feel rubbish)
- get out of the house as much as possible (the sight of four walls is enough to drive anyone crazy)
- if you can get the chance to escape without your DD then do (we love our kids but it's really important to have some time to ourselves)
- and don't be proud to cry (a good cry did me the world of good - better out than in I say!) wink
Take care sweetheart - and go to bed!!! grin grin

dittany Sun 02-Aug-09 23:26:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:27:55

Thanks sparkler All good advice. smile I am glad you are better now too! I will go to bed soon, don't want to wake DH or baby with my crying - need to let it out. Poor DH, am worried that I will make him depressed.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:28:55

dittany Just don't feel strong enough to fight the grouches!

Sparkler Sun 02-Aug-09 23:29:23

See if you can speak to your HV again and if you do get the chance tell her exactly what you have told us here..

"I don't think I want to contact my HV again as I am worried that she will start visiting again and then I will feel better and the visits will end - starting the pattern again"

She will understand. x

Sparkler Sun 02-Aug-09 23:30:38

I still get the odd tricky day now and then but all part of the territory of parenting I think!! smile x

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:33:28

Yes I will ring HV tommorrow, prehaps she will come and see me in the next few days, just having someone in RL to talk to who is not a friend, DH etc helps.

depressednamechanger Sun 02-Aug-09 23:38:34

Thanks and night all. Off to bed now. Xx

Sparkler Mon 03-Aug-09 09:02:35

Good morning. How are you feeling today? smile

depressednamechanger Mon 03-Aug-09 10:33:12

Hi Sparkler,

Thanks for asking. smile I am feeling loads better today, 'talking' and crying has helped. I am off to phone HV.

Sparkler Mon 03-Aug-09 11:52:20

That's good. x

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