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Feeling isolated. How do you get to know other mums???

(14 Posts)
kool Mon 23-May-05 22:02:42

I moved to a new area a couple of years ago and im finding it impossible to meet socially with other mums. the area is very quite and a bit clicky so i feel a bit like a square peg in a round hole. All of my other friends live miles away so i only get to see them now and again cause of work and my toddler. I have great neighbours but not in my age group.HELP!!!

whymummy Mon 23-May-05 22:04:28

hi kool,go to the meet up section and ask for péople living in your area,good luck

darlingbud Mon 23-May-05 22:04:45

I didn't know anyone in my village when I had dd even though I had lived here all my life - I didn't go to school round here either.
I started going to the toddler group and met people through that. Started with small talk and chit chat as they all knew each other. it's just a case of persevering and getting to know people gradually.

kama Mon 23-May-05 22:07:45

Message withdrawn

kool Mon 23-May-05 22:16:01

good advice. i suppose i just need a bit more get up and go. im panicking now cause ive got another baby on the way. Feel like im going to be stuck in the house ironing and cooking for the next x amount of years.

peanut Mon 23-May-05 22:21:19

Whereabouts are you ??

kool Mon 23-May-05 22:55:06

hi peanut. im living in pembrokeshire (Wales).

fatmomma Mon 23-May-05 23:04:59

Hi kool, have you tried getting in touch with your local NCT branch? Our branch runs post natal support groups, toddler groups, coffee mornings, picnics and heaps more and you don't have to be a member to go along. To find your local branch contact you can ring the national enquiry line on 0870 444 8707 or visit their website \link{http://www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com/}.

When I had DS I found it really important to keep an open mind. Sure, some groups really are clicky but a lot of the time it's just a matter of taking a deep breath and jumping in to the conversation. After all you already have something in common with everyone in the room - your kids! When DS was tiny it was easier because other mums would coo over him. You just have to keep putting yourself out there until you 'click' with a group. Good luck

PS I'm v.jealous, I love Pembrokeshire.

peanut Mon 23-May-05 23:13:54

we moved to a new area about 18 months ago so i understand, it takes me about 1 1/2 hours to drive up to where i used to live which i still do once a week to visit friends. It wasn't until my eldest dd started play school that i started to meet people and make friends down here. I know its not easy but a new baby gives you the perfect excuse to invade some mother and baby groups, especially as you will be at home on maternity leave.

and don't forget we are always here if you get to lonely

sansouci Mon 23-May-05 23:16:38

I know how you feel! but now that dd's started school, i've met lots of mums & made some v. good friends. A bit of a long wait, tho. How old's your eldest?

lovelybird Tue 24-May-05 10:54:45

Hello Kool. I know how you are feeling, I'm sure there's lots of other mums in a similar situation. I don't have any friends in the area, they are all miles away and my family is an hours drive away. I feel very isolated and alone. I do go to an NCT group which is OK and gets us out of the house one morning a week. I have been to a local mom and tots morning but it was not friendly and has made me feel worse. I have also made contact with a mum who put a message on the 'meet a mum' board on Mnet but after a couple of e-mails she did not respond so can only assume she's really a big hairy trucker!! It is not that easy to suddenly make new friends when you've had a baby, I'm even looking forward to returning to work later this year just so I can talk to people.

triceratops Tue 24-May-05 11:28:30

You are not alone, I know lots of people who have the same issues. Yesterday I bumped into a mum who organises the play group I go to. She always seemed so confident to me and seems to know everyone. She was telling me that she had signed up for a night class but was terrified of going because she had to walk into a room full of strangers. I was really surprised to find out that I wasn't the only person who found it hard.

I was really miserable last week because I came home from playgroup that I have been attending for over a year and I hadn't really spoken to anybody. Then I realized that I had been miserable before I went and I had been sitting in a corner reading to ds rather than going round jumping into peoples conversations like usual.

I think that you have to make the first move and not be scared of rejection. Pounce on the first mum you meet with a similar age child and invite them round for coffee. The worst that will happen is that they will say no.

Pomi Tue 24-May-05 15:01:41

All of you are nearly the same condition as mine. I moved the area a few months ago, have no friend or family member nearby, they rather do not live in this country. I visited a toddler group but it was not suitable for me. I do take ds to the local baby clinic but like ticeratops I do not chat with anybody. Where would I go to make friends?

lovelybird Tue 24-May-05 15:10:12

Pomi,
Try giving the NCT a call. They will have a local co-ordinator who will know of groups/classes you can go to in your area. This is the only thing DS & I do and it does help to keep me sane.

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