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Need honest advice please - do you think i need to see a doctor?(13 Posts)
Basically, i would really appreciate if you could honestly tell me if you think i might be depressed and need help/to see a doctor.
I dont think i do. I think i am incrediably stressed and having a very difficult time. But i would like some un biased opions.
Going through a very messy recent divorce
- child access issues
- threatening behaviour both physical and mental from Ex DH.
- move to new area. I know nooone apart from family
- bad sprain on ankle
-dog got run over ( luckily ok)
- developed pollopys in gall bladder, lots of pain, unable to eat. Lots of drugs/docs appts. Ended in admitted to hospital via a&e a few weeks ago/
- lots of time off work beacuse of this
- very very busy out of work, no time to get everything done, too much with solicitors appts, vets, docs, plus normal errands.
- very bad appraisal at work due to time off.
Basically most of the time i feel ok, happy, functioning, if a little stressed. But ocassionaly, like today ( day after bad review from work) i feel terrible. I feel like a failure, like its all too much and i cant cope. I cant stop crying. Just feel like im running on empty and have nothing more to give.
I know tomorrow ill wake up and feel normal and ok again.
Someone said to me that maybe im depressed adnd ad's would help. I cant see how they would as they wont get rid of the reasons that cause me stress?
anyway, too much rambling... any thoughts?
oh poor you.
That does seem an awful lot for you to be dealing with here.
I would suggest that you go along to your GP and explain all. They can then decide with you, the best course of action. It may be ADs, or putting you in touch with someone for you to talk things through with.
I hope you feel better soon though.
I have some friends/relations who have suffered from depression, and it doesn't sound like you're experiencing what they did. The key line, I think, is "I know tomorrow I'll wake up and feel normal and ok again." I don't think depressed people feel this way. You're having a shit time, which anti-depressants won't change. But you sound like you're a strong enough person to deal with it, which is very commendable and you should be proud of yourself.
I dont think you need to see a doctor as diddlediddledumpling said already, the attitude I just know Ill be fine tomorrow is kind of the opposite of how depressives feel, BUT perhaps it cant hurt to go, and have a chat with them to see what they think?
To be honest if I was going through half of the stuff you listed above Id definitely be in the depths of depression, so well done for coping so well.
I am feeling in a similar way, because, like you, I have too much happening in my life, much of it stressfrul.
I don't feel depressed, but do burst into tears if even more stuff happens.
I did visit the GP and she decided I wasn't depressed, but she wanted to see me in a month to make sure I wasn't going in the direction of depression. She did give me some beta blockers to calm my stressed nerves down.
In the mean time, I have started seeing a counsellor to work on sorting my life out a bit, so I can have an enjoyable life, not just a stressed one.
In fact I'm going the the counsellor right now! WIsh me luck...
Just to put another point of view across; I was depressed a few years ago, but it started off just being the odd bad day, with OK days in between. But over time, it got worse and worse and I was just in denial about it. Eventually I saw my GP and got ADs. Didn't take them straight away (still in denial) but when I did take them and eventually started getting better, I realised that I should have been taking them much sooner. From my experience, as soon as your bad days stop being one-offs, you might benefit from a bit of help.
Sorry you're having such a hard time.
I'll second uberalice - had PND but thought I was ok. It was only after starting ADs I realised how not ok I had been for so long. I also had a lot of stressful things going on but meds gave me a boost and helped me take them on.
Hope things brighten up soon, it's awful when everything seems to go wrong at once and you've got an awful lot on your plate there. Let us know how you go.
Thanks everyone. ANd if anyone has any more opions id more that welcome them.
TBH i feel totally fine now. my mum popped round and gave me and hug and told me how proud she was of me and how i should be proud of myself as ive achieved so much already. But she said i am having an amazingly shitty time and its just a bad run of luck.
I know it will all get better, i sort of feel like if i could just fast forward the next 6 months i know my life will be sorted. Divorce and access stress will have mostly gone. Gall baldder will be out. Work... well whatever, im not overly fussed there are always other jobs.
Im always such a positive person and can normally find the smallest thing to be positive about. People always say that if i say its bad, it really must be! LOL
And i feel a bit guilty for moaning, as there are people far worse off that me.
BUT, i do occassionaly ( like earlier today) just feel compleatly floored by whats going on and unable to cope with it all. Like i dont know how much more shit i can deal with.
Two's good luck with the councelling - hope it goes well
and like i said, any more opions/advice welcome.
You don't have to be depressed to go to the doctor. I was in a similar position to you at the beginning of the year; saw my doctor, who signed me off work for 2 weeks with stress. It gave me time for a breather and to sort out a few things that were getting on top of me. I also started a short course of counselling, which helped me, but my Mum died a long time ago. If she was around and as supportive as yours sounds, I don't think I'd have needed it.
Work also had to take my point of view seriously and held a meeting to see what could be done to alleviate the stresses that were work-related.
I think depression is an abnormal response to ones situation,whereas waht you are feeling seems entirely reasonable,in fact you seem to be holding it together amazingly! Life can be crap but you don't need to medicate that,it is ok to be sad and stressed when sad stressful things happen. I hope things get better and I'm glad that at least the doggy is ok.You are doing really well.Treat yourself when you can and take care of yourself.
I think your Mum is very right. You're doing amazingly well considering all you're up against at the moment. Give yourself a break and a pat on the back for coping as you are!
Antidepressants are not going to take away all these issues or magically sort out these problems. You sound like you're reacting totally normally to a very stressful period.
I don't think it's depression yet,but I do think you sound at your limit stress wise~so if anything else happens you might be unable to cope.
No matter how able/strong you are,there is only so much at once you can cope with and that is why you are getting tearful some days.
Take steps now to look after yourself,talk to work about your health and see if you can reduce hours or at least fully explain the situation,get as much help from your mum as you can and talk things through with a close friend or your mum,and get plenty of rest.
Hope things improve for you soon
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