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Heinzsight's PND support/help thread. Been there three times before, baby due in a couple of weeks, BRICKING IT

(37 Posts)
HeinzSight Mon 27-Jul-09 21:36:37

Fear of PND has been mentioned by a few others on an antenatal thread. I'm starting this thread, not just for me, but for others who need help/support whilst going through the hell that is PND.

I am currently 37+4 with my fourth baby. PND was the worst last time, really REALLY awful.

I'm being a proactive this time and have sought help in advance. I have seen a psychiatrist and am top of the waiting list for CBT. I have just started taking Sertriline and this seems to be the safest antidepressant to take during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

I would like to come up with a list of mantras/positive sayings to help me/others.

One of my biggest symptoms of PND has always been guilt. I would just feel SO guilty for disrupting family life by bringing a baby into the equation. No matter how much I tried to rationalise it in my head, I'd still feel terribly guilty. If DH yawned, it was my fault because I'd had this baby. If the kids said they were bored or hungry, it was my fault, because I'd had this baby.

The other symptom is complete and utter emptiness/numbness. Losing the ability to look forward to anything, or enjoy anything.

Regret

Fear

Anxiousness

I'm sure there's a lot more....

The first thing I am going to say to myself and others is :

ASK FOR HELP People ACTUALLY want to help but are often worried they might be interfering or disturbing you.

DON'T FEEL GUILTY Having a baby is NOT a bad thing to do. Think of all the extra love and laughter it brings to the house.

Please feel free to add to this list, copy and paste.

Write your own experiences and what has helped you get through it.

Let's stick together ladies and keep in touch xxxxxxxx

expatinscotland Mon 27-Jul-09 21:44:19

Thanks for the great OP, Heinz!

Been there myself 3 times now.

Still struggling 9 months after DS's birth.

Anxiety mostly.

HeinzSight Mon 27-Jul-09 21:50:14

Hi expat, I've chatted with you on other threads. I'm so sorry you're still suffering with anxiety. Anxiety is the pits isn't it. Have you found anything to be helpful for you? Is it worse in the mornings? That's when my anxiety would be at it's worst. Something to do with seratonin levels being at their lowest in the morning my GP said.

expatinscotland Mon 27-Jul-09 21:54:47

Effexor, effexor very effective.

Mostly it's a problem at night. I have had insomnia since I was about 13, but it's BAD now.

I do have to rely on a tranq every now and a gain to break a really bad jag.

gigglewitch Mon 27-Jul-09 21:57:19

fantastic post, heinz - and what a great support to have a thread like this. I'm fortunately on the way to being better after 3 and a half yrs blush following dc3 and third round of PND. err, there are a lot of threes there - but that is the way it is... And count me in, last time was the worst even though I tried to get ahead of it, sort everything I possibly could, help, medication (also sertraline) everything in my power. But still it has been complete hell. Hang in there heinz & co, you sound fantastically balanced and sorted, fingers crossed you have a better post-baby time with no 4. Wishing you luck.

HeinzSight Tue 28-Jul-09 21:06:42

Sorry for disappearing last night, I went to bed, I've been SO tired recently.

I'd completely forgotten about insomnia expat. I've never heard of Effexor. Is it something you can take whilst breastfeeding?

gigglewitch, hello to you smile. How awful to have suffered for such a long time. Tbh, that's always been my worst nightmare sad. What, if anything has helped you?

Interestingly, I went to see my Osteopath today who is convinved for me PND is caused by the fact I am extremely hyper mobile. His theory was very interesting. I'm going to see him again when I've had the baby to see if he can help.

I'm also thinking about booking in to have an acupuncture session. I've never had acupuncture before, but apparently it's very good for depression?

sheenaisapunkrocker Wed 29-Jul-09 15:32:18

Hello everyone, can I join?

I am pregnant with DC1; due at the weekend. I am pretty scared of PND as I have had 2 periods of depression in my adult life pre-pregnancy and suffered with AND during my pregnancy. I'm led to believe that this puts me at risk of PND.

I am the biggest stress-head in the world and have been so full of angst, including a major identity crisis (which I am really embarrassed about as I think that I'm too old at 35 for this! blush)

I'm doing loads of stuff to try and ward it off - one of the benefits of past experience is knowing what might work. So, I've got the support of a counsellor with whom I have a really good relationship; an independent midwife for the continuous care and post-birth support; I've developed a network of social support through an antenatal class and plan to go to some mother & baby groups (& maybe infant massage classes to help with bonding).

My GP has agreed to prescribe ADs following the birth, but hasn't pushed them during my pregnancy - not sure if this is good or not - what do others think?

kitkatqueen Wed 29-Jul-09 15:45:58

Hiya Heinz,

Just thought I'd drop in and say hello,

Don't forget to get in touch if you think I can help . As u say in your op, people actually want to help, trouble is we don't always know how. And I have that terrible fear of putting me foot in it and making things worse

Very interesting about your osteopath tho, mine told me some very strange things about me that he was very very right about. Deffo go see him after the birth. Mine also told me that being postnatal and B/feeding gives an opportunity for popping and cracking things into alignment that just can't be popped otherwise. He reccomended I come back and get myself straightened out before I hit the menopause all bent in the wrong places, good job he said it with a smile cheeky bugger grin

BTW Sorry I missed your fb message, fb won't let me change my email address for some reason?

Spk sn.
KKQx

weegiemum Wed 29-Jul-09 16:05:47

I just wanted to drop in and say hi to you ladies - I have 3 children and had PND 3 times, worsening on every occasion (though I only ended up in hospital with dc1 as I got much much better at masking it to the HPs!!)

Youngest is now 5 and a half and I am depressed again (normally, not PND) but the horrible fug of PND plus sleepless nights etc still haunts me sometimes.

Sertraline was the way forward for me, as it seems safest in pregnancy (I took it right through pg with dcs 2 and 3) and breastfeeding.

I'll keep an eye out here - as someone who has "done it' before, maybe I could have something to add!

candyfluff Wed 29-Jul-09 20:24:34

hi heinz ,so glad you are taking all the steps to ensure you dont struggle with pnd ,i did that and still got it but to a much lesser extent than the time before you will be glad to hear -still very unpleasent though.
take all the help and advice you can lay your hands on .
consider homestart
all the best x

HeinzSight Thu 30-Jul-09 11:24:38

Hi all,

I thought labour had started yesterday!!! My Osteopath warned me that what he was doing could bring it on. I had tightenings from 4:30pm till the middle of the night! All quiet now. I must admit to not feeling ready to have this baby. I only started taking the sertraline on Sunday and want at least two weeks for it to get into my system.

Kitkat, these Osteopaths definitely seem to know what they're talking about don't they! LOL @ bent in all the wrong places!

candyfluff, thanks for your post, it's good to hear that you suffered to a lesser extent, gives me hope.

weegiemum, ANY tips gratefully received grin

Oh kitkat, just thought of another one, that Omega 3. TBH I haven't been able to face taking it because it repeats on me so badly, yuk, fishy burps!

Another symptoms of PND is loss of appetite. I've just started writing my food shopping list and have put decent biscuits on there. They WILL NOT be touched by children!!! They're for meee, medicinal purposes!

sheena, I think it's fantastic what you have in place already, you sound very prepared. Hopefully, along with the support on this thread, we'll sail through.

sheenaisapunkrocker Thu 30-Jul-09 13:39:44

Hear hear to that Heinz.

kitkatqueen Thu 30-Jul-09 16:09:58

Heinz - I have the same problem with the omega 3 - aaaahhhhh my 3 key just fell off?!!!! wtf?

Anyway - I haven't taken any for about 2 weeks nor spatone or the prenatal nutrients that I normally feel really really ill without, and I feel fine hmm very odd!

Am going to start taking them all again tonite - just in case, I had an idea about chopping the tops off the oil capsules and squirting it in my dinner hmm wish me luck on that one its chicken pie with bercher spuds and veg. LOL!

( am also thinking I should deffo go see my osteopath a couple of my friends have a bet going that the baby is already over 8lb and tbh I think they are probably right )
xx

HeinzSight Thu 30-Jul-09 17:02:15

LOL, I had a similar idea with my omega 3 except I was wondering whether I could put them in juice, I think your idea is better!

I've just come back from the supermarket and have been informed that I'm not as big as I was last time!! We'll see.. this baby also predicted to be big. My first two were over 10lbs shock

I've got my luxury biscuits, they're hidden out of childrens reach. I mustn't forget they're there!

kitkatqueen Fri 31-Jul-09 00:38:28

Warning Heinz!!!!!! Mine tasted like lemon when I squeezed out the oil from the capsule!! I had decided that I would do mash instead and that was fine, I bunged the oil in gave it a good mix it actually tasted fab but I am still hiccuping and burping in spite of about a pint of milk. I ate my dinner at 8pm hmm I think that its maybe not quite so bad as if I just took the capsule, just because I didn't have to digest the capsule as well iykwim. Someone else has suggested putting it in yogurt...I think they may be sadistic...

Think I may just have to wait until there isn't a bottom and pair of feet kicking me in the stomach...

kitkatqueen Fri 31-Jul-09 01:35:31

It burns.... Help me i'm melting!!!!

HeinzSight Fri 31-Jul-09 10:27:09

Oh NO!!!!!!!!!!!! I won't be doing that then. Thank you most very kindly for being the first to experiment LOL wink

kitkatqueen Sat 01-Aug-09 22:06:39

I think that was my last foray into guineapigdom

HeinzSight Mon 03-Aug-09 21:22:47

Hi all, I'm getting more and more nervous as my due date creeps nearer. I do feel somewhat haunted by the memories of PND after having DD. It feels slightly like it's overshadowing the excitement of meeting my new baby sad

I need to get this list of positives sorted so I can read and read and read them!!

kitkatqueen Mon 03-Aug-09 22:48:24

Repeat after me...

No1, I am a fantastic mum, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here

No2, I am doing a fabulous thing for my family and the planet by adding to it. ( because my children are absolutly gorgeous)

No3 When I sit in the dark of the night and feed my sleepy baby I am not alone because there are hundreds upon hundreds of other women (and a couple of blokes) doing the same thing at the same time and they also sit with me...

Now you copy and paste and add in the next one, Otherwise I may start quoting desiderata at you and we wouldn't want that now would we? wink

kitkatqueen Mon 03-Aug-09 23:45:39

(its what I keep repeating to myself )

trixymalixy Tue 04-Aug-09 00:13:09

Can I join in? Not sure I had PND last time, but was definitely on the edge.

my thread

I'm hoping I'm a bit more mentally prepared this time and that the home birth will allow me to get a bit more sleep and therefore cope a bit better.

HeinzSight Tue 04-Aug-09 13:51:45

Of course you can trixy smile xx

sheenaisapunkrocker Tue 04-Aug-09 15:00:07

It's really good to hear all your thoughts, as I can really relate to the fears about coping in the early weeks. I too am dreading it.

One of my biggest problems is that I am not sure that I want this huge life change - but here I am (that is very hard to admit). I am now 2 days overdue and have been having night time contrations for over a week. I am sure that it is my ambivalence which is holding me back (despite the fact that I feel pretty ok about the impending birth itself).

All supportive thoughts gratefully received.

HeinzSight Tue 04-Aug-09 20:43:44

<aking a start on our list to read over and over.....

Thanks KKQ smile Thinking of you sheena, keep in touch xx

ASK FOR HELP People ACTUALLY want to help but are often worried they might be interfering or disturbing you.

DON'T FEEL GUILTY Having a baby is NOT a bad thing to do. Think of all the extra love and laughter it brings to the house.

No1, I am a fantastic mum, if I wasn't I wouldn't be here

No2, I am doing a fabulous thing for my family and the planet by adding to it. ( because my children are absolutly gorgeous)

No3 When I sit in the dark of the night and feed my sleepy baby I am not alone because there are hundreds upon hundreds of other women (and a couple of blokes) doing the same thing at the same time and they also sit with me...

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