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Today my counsellor said to me.....

(19 Posts)
imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 17:54:21

That i am a highly intelligent hmm, extremely lazy woman who is using anxiety as a barrier to do stuff. shock

Even more shock shock because i think its a fair assesment blush.

hanaflower Tue 21-Jul-09 17:55:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 18:22:49

i have been going for over a year, we can't get past this anxiety barrier - i have to get pro-active, but that means that everything will be ok, but thats scares the shit out of me hmm i'm weird

YommyMommy Tue 21-Jul-09 19:58:04

The highly intelligent part must be true as my GP told me that woman who are intelligent are more likely to suffer with anxiety as we think about think way too much! lol!

doggiesayswoof Tue 21-Jul-09 20:03:31

Why does she think you are lazy though?

I use anxiety (and a whole load of other things too) as barriers to actually doing stuff. My DH is similar.

But I've never really thought that I was just lazy. Maybe I am after all grin I thought I overanalysed stuff because I'm scared of making mistakes. Maybe after years of that, you become lazy by default?

FourArms Tue 21-Jul-09 20:16:01

I think this could be me too. I have an aversion to answering my phone and opening mail. It's mad. But the longer it goes on, the more scared of doing it I am. Perhaps I'm just lazy and should do it?!?

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 20:30:01

She knows im lazy because i told her so grin. I would have OCD if i weren't too lazy to do anything! I think she was trying to do that whole reverse psych on me, so i would think, fuck you and prove her wrong.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 20:31:06

four arms, both DP and i are almost phobic about answering the phone and opening mail. Has actually caused us no end of grief!!

expatinscotland Tue 21-Jul-09 20:37:11

Gawd, I hate answering the phone. I worked on phones for a living a lot and now I can't bloody stand them.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 20:51:52

Waves at expat (i'm lucyellensmum so what do you reckon? Is my counsellor right?) She says i am using my anxieties as an excuse not to get a job and do stuff in general.

expatinscotland Tue 21-Jul-09 21:09:41

She could be talking about me, though, although I don't do counselling.

But I do use anxiety as a barrier and have to force myself to do stuff like bake or fold the clothes.

CrushWithEyeliner Tue 21-Jul-09 21:15:04

This is me too - I have a completely irrational fear of driving which I know I need to address and work through and, oh lots of other stuff but I am stuck in a rut of anxiety.

sausagerolemodel Tue 21-Jul-09 21:25:37

me too. I berate myself for my laziness, but I find it difficult to motivate myself to do stuff I find difficult (paperwork/housework etc) but I am not sure your counsellor labelling you lazy is helpful, unless she really thinks that a kick up the butt would help. I am currently trying to set up my own business and a friend recommended me a book called The Success Principles (by the same guy who wrote Chicken Soup for the Soul). Its VERY american, but if you can see past that, its also very helpful. The first principle is something like "You are 100% responsible for what you do" so i.e if you're late (as I often am, it probably wasn't the train, or the timetable, or the baby, it was just me not taking responsibility for getting out of the house on time) which is almost always the truth. It has certainly struck a bit of a chord with me. I suffer from dreadful anxiety and sometimes crippling lack of self confidence but that first principle does help.

hanaflower Tue 21-Jul-09 21:55:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Tue 21-Jul-09 22:17:58

Expat, im the same and then when i do finally do stuff i find myself saying "there is no actual point in doing this"

CrushWithEyeliner Wed 22-Jul-09 12:32:18

glad not just me and the driving phobia!

Paranoid1stTimer Wed 22-Jul-09 12:42:33

I don't think your psych made a helpful comment at all and if she thinks you are so intelligent why is she attempting reverse psychology? She should know you will just see through it!!! People making comments like that (meaning to help or just being complete bitches) doesn't help people with anxiety. It just makes you think even more "Am I just lazy? Am I imagining all this anxiety just to get me out of X/Y/Z???" It just makes anxiety sufferer look like malingering hypochondriacs (SP?) and belittles a very crippling state of mind and could possibly even set you back!

I have posted a few times on here about being terrified of driving. I have just taken other sufferers advice and done it anyway. Even though it doesn't really get any easier and some days are worse than others.

I am totally lazy and I have to admit it but I think it has a lot to do with anxiety being soooooooo bloody draining that I am too tired to do anything. When I actually do something, I do feel better though. It is just getting my ass into gear that is the problem.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Wed 22-Jul-09 15:23:39

yep - i have trouble with my backside gears too - much respect to you for driving, im far to anxious for that!

AccioPinotGrigio Wed 22-Jul-09 16:09:00

God this rings bells with me - over-thinking everything, anxiety. Rather than call myself lazy though I call myself a procrastinator - it's a real problem with work where I put off and put off tasks because I am so scared that what I do won't be good enough. I suspect you aren't really being lazy but are simply avoiding placing yourself in situations that will cause you anxiety.

I have religiously avoided responsibility and responsible jobs for years. In the last year though I have taken the plunge and gone for a job where I am really pushing my boundaries/comfort zones. I shit bricks every day but in some small way I know it is good for me. I think.

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