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Feeling like a Crummy Mummt today :(

(25 Posts)
charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:07:19

Im feeling really low today and seriously re-thinking my skills as a good parent, were finding it really hard to feed ds hes 8 months, the last week hes been off his food and will only eat sweet food or jar food, he has eaten homemade before and used to love solids but now if i offer him homecooked he just turns his head and wont open his mouth,if i offer him jar or something sweet he will gulp it down. this is becoming a problem as we are spending a fortune on jars of food which we are finding it difficult to afford. Althought i know that even if he does eat homecooked i find it difficult finding things to make and finding the time to make it as were really busy and hes got a dairy intolerence. He cant eat what we eat as he can have anyting with milk protiene in and he doesnt eat at the same time as us as weve alwasys eaten late. i dont have alot of time n the day as it is and if i did have the time i dont know what i would do with him while i made it and i dont know what do do!!

Also i dont know what games to play with him and what things to do with him to help him learn and develop, hes develpoing well at the moment but all i can think of doing with him is putting him in his baby walker or sitting him on a blanket on the floor with his toys or putting him on my knee i feel theres more i could do with him to help him learn.

We want another baby but today i feel like im being a crap mom to the one weve got.

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:09:08

God no!! You have it hard! I think you deserve a big pat on the back for what you do.

starshaker Fri 20-May-05 16:09:25

could u not try putting homemade food into the jar and see if he takes it then

natts Fri 20-May-05 16:10:51

i know it sound gross but alternate between sweet and savoury per mouthful i even used to put a little sweet pud at the tip of savoury spoonful. babies don't think this is gross for some reason

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:11:53

Do you stay at home with him or work?

Most kids his age have a sweet tooth, my friends son is 5mths and he is really bad so dont knock yourself for it. Try giving him mostly fruity stuff as its naturally sweet. Thats what we are doing to friends baby.

As for playing as long as you are there with him he will be fine. When I babysit I play peek-a-boo for hours as this lets me get on with things and he doesnt feel left out.

HTH

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:11:59

i could try,its just finding the time to make a variety of food hes allowed. i just feel like im not doing good enough for him and i dont know why hes suddenly being so fussy

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:12:49

Can't help with the feeding problem. IME, mine have all gone through feeding problems. Just keep giving him what you know is best for him and when he is hungry, he will eat it.

At 8 months old, your ds doesn't need a lot of specialist games. Do you sing with him? (Songs with actions). Bounce him on your knee? Take him for walks? Talk to him about everything you are doing? Show him picture books?
TBH, just allowing him to see what is going on around him and letting him explore his surroundings if he is crawling is most of the help they need.

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:13:02

Natts thats a really good idea! After all as my uncle says when he has strawberries in gravy or chocolate spread sandwiches, it all goes down the samne hole!

natts Fri 20-May-05 16:13:12

pumpkins, parsnips, sweet potaoe and banana also great sweet tasting for savoury dishes.you probably already do this. sorry

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:14:12

i stay at home with him but he gets bored so easiyl and i always think hes not getting much out of life if all he does is play with his toys in his walker or on the floor.

elsmommy Fri 20-May-05 16:16:55

Give him a big bowl of water to pay in,
Or build towers of blocks and he'll knock them down,
Or take him for lots of walks!!
My dd was a fussy eater at that age. People used to just say give her the home cooked food and she'll eat it if shes hungry. But I felt bad and gave her what she wanted. She grew out of it and eats well now.

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:16:59

Hey, he is playing with his toys! That is fine. As long as he is playing with his toys, he is obviously getting something from it. You don't want him to become too reliant on you for entertainment anyway. He needs time by himself just playing with his toys or staring into space etc.

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:18:00

i give him sweet potatoe,carrots and sweeter veg, but thats what i dont get he used ot eat them when i made them but now he just shuts his mouth and turns away. hes always happy and the h.v says hes doing fine but i just feel that if hes in his baby walker or playing on the floor he will never laern anything, hes not crawling he doesnt even try but the health visitor says that normal and he will do it when hes rwady so im not worried about that, and with his food i just dont want him to regress back to onlyhvaing bottlea and i dont want him to live off swee t food because im worried hhe might be difficult to feed when hes older.

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:18:46

Im inclined to agree with Lonelymum. I encouraged my 2 to learn to play on their own. Its good for them not to be to reliant on others for entertainment.

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:20:01

If he is happy in his baby walker or on the floor, then, believe you me, he is learning. They get so much from just watching what you are doing.

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:20:24

What he eats now has no impact on how he eats later in life. My boys ate everything as babies, now ds1 is extremely fussy and ds2 will 'pick shit with the hens' as my grandma says!

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:21:03

Thanks you lot yuo always make me feel better i know hes fine as he had his 8 month development check yesterday and hes doing well its just i feel bad when i spend time praparing him food and he wont eat it also its getting expensive but i will try the sweet/savory thing and hope he starts eating it again.

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:23:10

That is the age old problem with preparing your own food for the baby (not that I am against it, just this is the con that is always mentioned): you put effort into preparing the food and get upset when baby turns his nose up at it. Try to minimise the effort you make so you don't feel as bad if he won't eat it, eg make bulk lots and freeze the extra meals.

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:25:20

yeah i will its jsut i can only think of a few meals he can have with his dairy intolerence and i dont want him to get bored with it, i want him to experience different tastes. plus i havent got a problem with him eating fruit and things all the time as long as he eats a bit of meat and veg but is it healthy?

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:26:41

Does he still drink his babymilk? Im assuming its a special one with his intolerance?

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:27:42

How long has he been weaned? A HV once said to me not to worry about baby being bored with the same few meals as they have recently only been having one thing - milk - and they don't have the sophisticated taste buds that we do so they don't get as bored with the tastes as quickly as we would.

Lonelymum Fri 20-May-05 16:28:42

Some people don't even start weaning until their baby is about 8 months old anyway....

HandbagAddiction Fri 20-May-05 16:31:17

Hey Charleepeters - only just seen this! When dd was 8 months old (god that seems like ages ago now too) she also went through a phase of not eating - I ended up putting both sweet and savoury things into the same spoon and mixing sweet things into her savoury food to make it more palatable for her. I have to say that I also had massive concerns about whether it would affect her future eating habits. In fact I even went so far as to ask her nursery not to give her puddings unless she had eaten some of her savoury stuff - what was I thinking - she was only 8 months old.

Anyway - the main thing is that I do believe that this is just a phase..and that he will get over it. dd now eats healthily and the only rules I now in place are if she doesn't want the food, then I take it away and she doesn't get anything else...oh and I firmly believe that fruit based pudding can be seen as a meal in their own right, i.e. they're packed full of vitamins so even if she turns her nose up at the main course - I will still give her dessert.

Hope things get better....but you are most certainly not a crummy mummy!!

Louise1980 Fri 20-May-05 16:34:42

I asked about the milk as I used to use it to soften ds1's food and this made it sweeter.

charleepeters Fri 20-May-05 16:48:37

hi sorry went to feed ds the putting sweet and savory food in at the same time seems to have worked, yes he is on special milk its call nutramogin and he is still drinking that, hes been weaned since he was 5 months on h.v's orders as he was such a hungry baby! thans for all your help though, its jsut hes got such a short attention span and gets bored so easily it hard finding things for him to do!

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