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Health Anxiety taking over my life :(

(23 Posts)
The456 Fri 10-Jul-09 14:45:42

I am not sure if i am actually ill, have anxiety or PND or am just going mad.

8 weeks or so ago i problem with my hands, i had pins and needles in my fingers. I convinced myself i had MS, went to the dr who said it was unlikely and recommended i went to a chiropractor which i did and after some wrenching about and acupuncture my hands are better though not perfect although i cant put my finger on what i think is wrong with them. Chiro said my back was a mess and he's not suprised i was having symptoms.

Since the beginning of this (when i first worried about MS) i have been having odd symptoms which i think are all in my head, they might not be but ive worked mysef up into such a state about it i don't know whats real and whats not. I am having anxiety attacks, constantly feel sick with worry and feel asif i am starting to lose grip on reality. It is ALL i think about and honestly it's ruining my life. I am not just worried about MS but cancer and other ilnesses too.

I don't feel depressed generally just horribly anxious all the time, i am constantly imagining being a burden to my children and dying before they are old enough to really remember me. I am having suicidal thoughts but not in such a way that i ever would, it just comes in to my head

Im going to the Drs later but im woried that this anxiety is making something really wrong with me..

I feel like a complete freak. Df told me i need to pull myself together,i know i do i am being ridiculous but i can't.

I am being a really shit Mum to DD (4.5), Ds is only a baby.

Has anyone else been though this type of extreme hyperchondria, will it go away ?

pipsy76 Fri 10-Jul-09 15:10:59

oh dear I really cant ignore this post as this was me 3 years ago! I hope you start to feel better soon. I developed health anxiety after DS1 was born and my poor dad had to spend 400 quid proving to me I didn't have nose cancer!

Ok so what can I offer you of use? Well firstly I had dreadful pins and needles during pregnancy and carpal tunnel afterwards so I don't think this is that unusual and certainly not MS, however reassurance seeking behavior isn't really useful to help you with your HA. My life became unbearable with worry and it now saddens me all the time i have wasted worrying. I think churchill said something along the lines of I have had many worries in my life most of which never happened!

See your gp, mine recommended using the free #living life to the full# anxiety module which you can google and complete on line. However I found this a bit non specific for HA. I bought #an introduction to coping with HA# from amazon which had some really useful strategies.

I'm far from cured but in a much better place now. You have to try and modify your thought patterns as explained in the booklet I recommend from amazon.You can get over this and enjoy a lovely life with your kids.

waitingforgodot Fri 10-Jul-09 15:12:53

I think you need to discuss it with your doctor. If it is taking over your life then it needs to be addressed. You obviously are open to receiving help as you have posted on here which is great. I don't know much about it but wanted to answer you. I know the lack of sleep took its toll on me for a while and made me have all sorts of worries. Hopefully dr can help. Let me know how you get on

Backtoblue Fri 10-Jul-09 15:14:57

You should look here too

corblimeymadam Fri 10-Jul-09 15:15:13

Message withdrawn

The456 Fri 10-Jul-09 15:36:27

Thanks for replying. It's nice to know that it's not just me.. I feel in RL like it's just me.

Backtoblue, i read the post al the way though, thank you. I was wondering how i had missed it on here but then realsied that it was in general health and i have banned myself from going in there. Google's banned too but after years of working with the elderly i know to much medical stuff iykwim.

Pipsy ( i actually just wrote pissy and had to scrol up to check, glad i did ! ) Thanks for telling me your story. What made you think you had nose cancer in the first place ? I'll have a look at that module.

Do drs prescribe ADs for it ? I'll try anything but Df said he 'doesn't agree with them'.

pipsy76 Fri 10-Jul-09 15:39:12

oh and my 2 top practical tips 1. Never EVER google any symptoms or illnesses just don't, it will NOT help even if you think you are just reassuring yourself. 2. Never check yourself for symptoms in the evening or at night it will always seem worse and prevent you from sleeping

Backtoblue Fri 10-Jul-09 15:45:28

This is a good quote to use as a mantra! :

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength

pipsy76 Fri 10-Jul-09 17:11:53

oh well my nose cancer was a nostril which was blocked one side for a few weeks and blood in tissues when I blew my nose, then because I kept poking around I developed a sore in the nostril, these symptoms plus years of working in hospitals plus a horribly traumatic birth experience plus a baby needing surgery plus google equals nose cancer!

GeorgeTheSlitheen Mon 13-Jul-09 11:49:49

Hi i was the 456 but realised after Fridays torchwood that they were not very nice aliens so have changed name again

I went to the drs on friday and she's prescribed me Sertraline, referred me for councilling and told me to read a couple of books which i have ordered from amazon. She was going to give me diazepam too but i'm still breastfeeding so i can't take them. She thinks i have PTSD as a result of almost losing our son last year.

I've not taken one of the Ads yet though, the dr told me to take them in the evening and the evening in generally the time of day when i feel better so i have put it off.. i want to talk it over with my mum too first and she's on holiday.. Df is being a bit of a git about it really, he just says i need to pull myself together. I have not got the guts to take them unsupported hence waiting for my Mum to get back. I am almost 30 BTW, saying that probably makes me sound about 17.

I read the leaflet in the pack and it is bloody terrifying.. i think part of me being so aprehensive about taking them is what if they make me feels worse and it masks something else ?

The doctor was really nice, not judgy atall.

No appointments with the counciller for 6 weeks though so i need to keep ringing in the hope i get a cancellation.

candyfluff Mon 13-Jul-09 14:15:36

the 456
alot of your symptoms are anxiety i know been there for a long time now ,the range of symptoms are huge and i must make you feel dreadfull ,i know its makes me exhausted.
im on mirtazapine which i take at night to help me sleep and im on my 2nd wek of cbt -not too sure how it can help yet as only just startedbut maybe its something you could look into .
please keep posting ,you will find so many in the same posistion

YommyMommy Tue 14-Jul-09 08:23:32

Hi 456/george, lol!

I am with candyfluff. Its sound like anxiety. I also a suffer from it, although I am getting better. I first suffered from it when my ds1 was about 8 months and worried that I was loosing my mind/seriously ill. I was convinced there was something wrong with my heart and that it was going to stop beating at any moment. I finally managed to go to my GP and thats when she told me about anxiety. I felt like a weight had been lifted just knowing that it couldn;t do any physical damaged, even though it could make me feel dreadful! Read the thread 'anyone else struggling wih anxiety', it might give you an insight!

I didn't want to take AD's as I was so scared of them, couldn;t even take a parecetimol at my worse! lol! I went for some councelling, but that didn;t really work for me as I didn;t like the cpn. I also got some hypnotherapy, which I felt help greatly. I am now just about to go for cbt to learn techniques to cope better!

You will get better too, might not feel like it now, but you will!

Keep posting

x x x

jenn321 Tue 14-Jul-09 11:23:08

like u health aniexty has took over my life again, when i had my son it began but he put me on citalopram which helped. but now 35 weeks pregnant with m 3rd child and no meds it has its grip on me again. its the worst feeling, i know what your going through and its reassuring t see others in the same boat because i felt i was the only one

jenn321 Tue 14-Jul-09 11:25:27

that should of said my doctor put me on citalopram now my son lol.

mumof2000 Tue 18-Aug-09 13:13:05

reviving this thread as think HA bad for me to at moment ...

YommyMommy Tue 18-Aug-09 16:13:48

Hey Mum2000,

Are u okay???

x x x

mumof2000 Tue 18-Aug-09 16:42:47

hi there having a bad health anx time at moment ..long and short , have had flem in morning , swallowing problem bit bunged up in morning and noticed through the day having to try to clear my throat , went to doc who said post nasal drip given me spray , googled symptoms now convinced i have throat C .... told this to doc and she said highly unlikely as 37 dont smoke, or drink (much ) but still im worried and got myself in a worried place again ...
thats it in a nut shell , thanks for listening ...
Do you suffer with HA ?

YommyMommy Tue 18-Aug-09 20:04:23

Hi mum2000,

I dont suffer so much from HA more general anxiety! Never used to be an axious person until after the birth of my DS three years ago! I get more anxious about Ds(s) health than mine to be honest!

How are u feeling now? My GP told me the worst thin g I could do was google things! lol! When u suffer with anxiety ur mind always blows things out of proportion, as u will know, so better to stay off the google!

By the sounds of things u have what might be the start of the common cold! Does ur GP know u suffer with HA?

x x x

mumof2000 Wed 19-Aug-09 08:51:15

Hi yommy , yes blowing things out of proportion a thing i do ....
shouldnt google either i know ..
doing nasal spray and will hope to see improvement , i was talking to a friend who had similar symptoms and ended up going to ENT to get sorted , as hers didnt go with drops , and now got stronger ones and getting better .

Anx is a horrid thing takes over my life at times ....i have tried all sorts to help but nothing seems to last , fine when things are ok ( no health worries ) then moment i do get something, everything i have learnt to cope in that situation just goes straight out the window and im in worry mode again ....i dont know what the answer is ....the doctor would like me to try an AD to see if that helps , but im not sure as i bet i will worry about poss side effects i may have etc ...

anyway how are you ? how do you cope with your anxiety ?

YommyMommy Wed 19-Aug-09 10:58:18

Hey Mumof2000,

I am good thanks. A little tired as DS2 had us up most of the nigh last night. He doesn;t seem tp be very well today, think he is cutting teeth, and we had no lie in as DS1 started back to nursery today! Hmm!

I'm not really sure how I cope wit anxiety! Like u I have good peroids and bad, during the bad I just get through every day as best I can!

I will come back on to speak later as DS2 is not happy

Hope u are well today???
x x x

mumof2000 Wed 19-Aug-09 11:11:07

Poor DS2 how old are your children ? mine are 7 & 9 i remember the days like that ...its a hard time specially as they cant tell you whats wrong ...and the sleep less nights ..my DS still comes in our bed now from time to time and hes 7 ...but i dont mind hes such a cuddly boy which i love ..

For teething i used to cool teething rings for them in fridge and give them calpol for the pain , but in the bleak of the night sometimes that wasnt enough ...

Try to put your feet up if he goes down for a nap if you can ..

Im ok , going to stay off google and try not to focus on swallowing today ...going to work at lunch time so will be distracted for the rest of the day, working till 8 tonight .

Hope DS2 is ok .
talk later xxx

ps . thanks for listening x

YommyMommy Wed 19-Aug-09 14:35:02

Hello Again mo2000,

DH has taken DS out for an hour down to Grandmas so have a wee bit of me time today! I was planning on reading my book for a while, but now have to call Tax credits and have a row with them! Argh!

My DC are 3.6 and 9 months! Yeah it is hard when they can't tell u whats up! I have been giving him calpol, but hes not really interested in the cold teethers! He just wants to chew on everything he shouldn;t, lol!

My boys are cuddly too, although only when they are in the mood! lol! My DS3 still comes into out bed to go to sleep and we have to live him in when he is sleeping! Not idea, but anything for a quiet life!

Hope work is okay for u! Do u enjoy going to work to be distracted???

x x x

P.S. No problem about the listening its nice to have someone to chat to when ur worried!

mumof2000 Wed 19-Aug-09 21:37:37

thanks , yommy ,work was ok , i think helps me to get out of the house to be honest , and at work little time for to much "mind talk ' if you know what i mean ..lol
and no computer to google ...def spending to much time in and not talking to people a bad thing ..well for me anyway , i gave up work when i had my second child and only went back to work last year PT , my confidence had really gone and i became very isolated and lonely and im sure this contributed to me becoming anxious etc ..

feel better now working, but as you can tell still have bad days and loose it a bit ...hmm

Hope you had a nice hour or so to yourself smile
and tonight you get a bit more sleep ...
.

our son has only just this last year been able to fall asleep alone ...hes always started off in our bed , then we would pop him back in his once was asleep ..again not ideal or should i say not like the book says ..but i couldnt do the control crying thing ...tried took hours to get him to sleep then 10 min later would be up again crying ..
i think you just have to do what works for you and every family is different .

well going to bed now to have a read , catch you tomorrow , night xx

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