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Really had enough.

(27 Posts)
ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 11:49:18

I hate myself. I'm so angry at me for being the idiotic, ugly, naive, self-destructive, foolish lunatic I am. Four months of not cutting myself means nothing now. Everyone would be much better off without me. Especially the baby in my tummy. I don't eat when I feel low, right now I can't even think straight, and I've cut my legs up again. I'm a total and utter failure in everything I try an do. I want so much to be a good mother, but if I'm crap at everything else, its pretty much implied I'm going to mess that up. Just want everything to stop hurting now, I've had enough of the pain.

BoysAreLikeDogs Wed 01-Jul-09 11:54:30

You know that we are going to say please see your GP or local MH nurse asap, your midwife or any Health care professional.

Truly, you need RL help.

Good luck

dollius Wed 01-Jul-09 11:54:35

Erika, you are not any of the things you say you are, and you do not deserve to be in pain.

You obviously care very much about whether or not you will be a good mum, and that is really the most important thing when it comes to being a good mum.

Please, please go straight to your GP and tell him/her what you have said here. There are antidepressants you can take during pregnancy.

If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for that little person inside you.

ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 12:06:27

They're faffing around about medication. The antenatal physc. said he wanted me on them again straight away. The CAMHS physc. I'm seeing got annoyed because he hadn't been consulted. CAMHS won't do anything because I'm the process of being handed over to teh adult team, and the adult team won't do anything because I'm still under CAMHS. My GP won't prescribe me anything because I'm under a physc. I have a therapy appointment at two, and I just can't bare to go. I want to curl up and sleep.

tiredemma Wed 01-Jul-09 12:07:43

why do you say that it means nothing now? what has happened today to make you feel like this Erika?

tiredemma Wed 01-Jul-09 12:08:38

How old are you? about 17?

ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 12:12:10

I was conned into signing up for some stupid credit agreement yesterday to pay for some photographs. I was totally pressured into it. The way she was talking and acting made me feel physically incapable of refusing. I don't even want them, I can't look at them. And I can't afford the payments, not really.

I'd been doing so well not harming myself at all - once since the day I found out I was pregnant. Now my legs and the tops of my arms are a state again. I failed. And because I'm feeling so low I'm struggling to eat again. I can't stand being with myself right now.

I can't believe I was weak and atupid enough to not turn round and just say "No".

ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 12:12:31

I've just turned 18.

nevergoogledragonbutter Wed 01-Jul-09 12:19:38

I think that therapy session is exactly what you need today.
Please keep the appointment.

tiredemma Wed 01-Jul-09 12:32:38

agree with Dragonbutter- you need to 'offload' to someone today.

There should be a 'cooling' off period with the credit aggreement, just contact them and tell them that you wish to retract it. Do you have a Care Coordinator who may be able to help you with this?

dollius Wed 01-Jul-09 13:06:00

Credit agreements should have a 14-day cooling off period. You should be able to cancel it.

If you can't, then give me the details and I will happily try to get you out of it myself. These debt companies are not allowed to pressure people like that. Let me know if you want me to CAT you my email address (you will have to change your settings to allow people to CAT you).

Please keep the therapy appointment today and ask again about medication. You need as much support as you can get, and you must ask for it - although I know how hard it is to muster the strength.

ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 18:57:20

Thanks guys I did go to therapy, and am a lot calmer. Still not feeling very happy but hey... Not so destructive.

No news on meds. as the adult the services still haven't arranged a take over date.

Going to see the CAB tomorrow. Will see what they advise.

Dollius - how do I change my settings?

dollius Wed 01-Jul-09 19:02:59

Hi Erika, glad you are feeling a bit better.

Go to My Mumsnet at the top of the page, log in with your email address and password, go to Email Options and click the Allow This box next to the CAT option.

You need to get in touch with the credit company first thing tomorrow to say you have changed your mind and want to cancel the agreement. Don't let them bully you into continuing with it.

And yes, definitely get advice from CAB. They may be able to handle it for you as well. If not, I will.

ErikaMaye Wed 01-Jul-09 19:47:54

Thanks - changed it.

I'm hoping that if the CAB can help I won't have to do too much of the contacting myself. I know how much it would stress me out and I don't think I can handle it right now.

dollius Thu 02-Jul-09 09:17:53

Can you manage a call to the credit company?

Just say you have changed your mind and want to cancel the agreement. Tell them you can't afford it. See how that goes - it might work and then you don't have to think about it anymore.

Completely understand about the stress though, so don't do it if you really can't face it.

Def get to CAB if you can. I'll watch this thread, so let us know how you get on.

ErikaMaye Thu 02-Jul-09 09:51:37

Thanks again.

Am feeling a bit better today, but thats bound to change. Its more of a numb sensation than a positive one. Heading to the CAB once I've logged off here. Kinda apprehensive. Never been before so don't know what to expect. I'll see what they have to say, and then follow that.

dollius Thu 02-Jul-09 09:53:23

They will be understanding and helpful. My mum trained as a CAB adviser, and they do just want to help.

Maninadirndl Thu 02-Jul-09 10:06:33

Hope you sort it out.

ErikaMaye Thu 02-Jul-09 17:11:22

I got there, only to be told that they didn't have any time to see me, although I was there two hours before they closed!!! Apparently, I have to be there, waiting, for when the open. I physically can't get there from my house for 9am because of my disabilty, so I'm going to go from my DPs on Monday morning.

Have been advised by everyone I've told to call up and cancel the direct debit asap - Mum wants me to do it tomorrow morning. Opinion?

dollius Thu 02-Jul-09 17:46:37

I would call the credit company first to tell them that you wish to cancel the agreement under the 14-day cooling off period you are statutorily entitled to. Inform them that you are going to cancel the direct debit and send back the pictures.

Then, yes, cancel the direct debit with your bank.

I think you will feel a lot better when this weight is off your shoulders. You just don't need this sort of worry.

Did they cold-call you? You can register your phone number and mobile with the Telephone Preference Service (google it) to stop that sort of cold calling. It is a free service.

ErikaMaye Fri 03-Jul-09 11:49:31

I just got off the phone to CAB, and they've said they can't see any way out. Because it was signed on the premises there is not 14-day cooling off period. He told me to call Consumer Direct, but it looks like I'm well and trully fucked.

dollius Fri 03-Jul-09 15:26:29

Ring the credit company and ask them to let you off. Tell them you are very young, you are pregnant and are suffering from depression. You cannot afford the repayments and you felt pressured into signing it.

Ask to speak to a supervisor if the first person you speak to tries to fob you off.

Maybe get your mum to ring up for you if this sounds too daunting?

But please try. Like I said, I will speak to them for you if necessary - have CAT-ed you my email address.

ErikaMaye Fri 03-Jul-09 19:18:31

I got hold of Consumer Direct, and they've advised me to send a letter saying that because I was pressure sold, I don't consider the agreement to be legally binding, and expect confirmation within seven days of the credit agreement having been cancelled. Am very very nervous - I know their reaction isn't going to be nice. In the same way, thats why I signed in the first place; I was building up into a panic attack and it got to the point where I was just feeling, "Just agree and she'll leave you alone."

But saying that I also feel comforted by the fact that Consumer Direct backed me up. They've reported the company to Trading Standards as well.

So I'm going to write the letter tonight and send it off first thing Monday / tomorrow if I can, send a copy to my bank, and then call them to block the direct debit. Its all really quite scary, but has to be done...

dollius Fri 03-Jul-09 22:15:52

Well done Erika - try not to be scared. You know that Consumer Direct feel you have a case, and you are in the right here.

ErikaMaye Fri 03-Jul-09 22:24:16

I guess so. They wouldn't have reported it if they hadn't thought so.

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