Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

if you were feeling stressed or depressed or upset and felt you needed some time off work, would you lie to your boss about what was wrong with you?

(11 Posts)
PeppermintPatty Fri 26-Jun-09 19:30:16

because you felt ashamed or embarrassed, or because you think it would make you look bad somehow.

Or would you be honest?

kathyis6incheshigh Fri 26-Jun-09 19:33:10

I would be honest. If it's more than a few days you'll have to get a doctor's note anyway. Lying would only get you into more trouble later on.

tigerbear Fri 26-Jun-09 19:40:59

Tell them - lying may lead to feelings of guilt, which with depression can get blown out of all proportion in your head.
Any what kathy said - could lead to all sorts of complications with your boss later.

I have had depression, and been very straight forward with my boss about having time off to go to therapy.

whiskersonkittens Fri 26-Jun-09 21:50:23

Yes you could if you want to, especially if it helps you get the time off you need to start to get better.

A doctor told me they could put something 'generic' on a medical note too if you want.

Sometimes it can be too overwhelming to accept things in your own mind and also tell everyone at the same time. Be kind to yourself - there is plenty of time to learn to tell people the truth - after 18 months very few people at my work know I have depression.

PinkyRed Fri 26-Jun-09 21:59:22

Agree with whiskersonkittens

I've had three periods of time off with depression/anxiety - my doctor put 'viral infection', 'complicaions relating to pregnancy' and 'bereavement' rather than d/a.
I feel rubbish for doing it, as I wouldn't dream of disciminating against anyone else for their mental health issues, but I was scared I think and that was an easy way out when I was feeling a bit fragile.

kathyis6incheshigh Fri 26-Jun-09 22:13:27

Oh yes, getting a very generic medical note is a good idea as that way you won't have to lie but you also needn't tell them any more than you want. I had a medical note once that just said 'pregnancy-related problems'.

Mummy369 Mon 27-Jul-09 22:33:09

I had a sick note which said 'stress' once - close enough, I reckoned..

YommyMommy Tue 28-Jul-09 08:33:31

I had a sick note which said 'stress related illness', but by the time I went of sick I had given up caring! I had just had enough of work!

Good luck x x x

PavlovtheForgetfulCat Tue 28-Jul-09 08:37:29

I would tell them I feel very stressed about some personal issues that I was not ready to go into and needed some time off. If it was more than a week, the gp would give you a sick note which say something like 'stress' or 'stress related illness'.

If it is likely to be more than a couple of weeks, it would be in your interests to speak to at least your direct boss, perhaps face to face about the reasons. Confidentiality means this cannot be discussed with your colleagues. Your employers can/have an obligation to find a way to support you through stressful periods and they can do this best with some knowledge at least.

Therefore I think do not lie, just limit what you tell them, otherwise you might need to tell them you lied later on.

shinyshoes Tue 28-Jul-09 08:44:30

I'd tell them the truth as well.

I have some issues going on in my personal life and last week I went of with 'flu related symptoms'. I have this week off but am thinking I might go off with stress when i'm due back next week.

I 'm not mentally ready to go back to work yet.

I wouldn't tell my boss the reasons though she's got a big mouth and tells everyone personal things about others, she dosen't know when to shut her mouth.

If you trust her tell her.

ErikaMaye Wed 29-Jul-09 22:24:20

It depends what your relationship with your boss is like. If its good, be entirely honest. If its not so good, get a generic note as recommended above - but don't lie, nessicarily, just make sure its worded very carefully.

I can understand why you'd want to lie.

Either way, I hope you feel better soon. Best wishes. x

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: