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Can anyone talk to me just for 5 min to help me calm down?

(10 Posts)
Wittering Fri 26-Jun-09 09:29:25

I really need to work. But am feeling really awful. Just 5 mins chat might help.

Had screaming match with son. He missed bus again and has teenage stubbornness about accepting any responsibility for anything. He is surly and horrible to me. I don't mind that. Imind my reaction. I feel so fed up, so at a loss, not just with him but with myself, that I just can't deal constructively or reasonably. I am furious, stressed, negative, awful to him. Just feel I can't gety any part of it right. Househol is chaos but I have so much paiid work to do, and my state of mind doesn't let me do any of my responsibilities properly.

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 26-Jun-09 09:37:56

Hi I'm here if you want to talk

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 10:15:58

I'm here too - having done the whole teenage thing (None to brilliantly i have to add) I can empathise, i really can.

My DD has made me bellow, shout, scream and cry, she has made me despair and i have even hit hir blush.

She dropped out of college, was pissing it up in the park with the local alkys and druggies, even got caught with cannibis.

She still hasn't made a career for herself which i think is a great shame - but she has settled herself down aged 19 having "been there done that" She has a job, which she finds tedious but she enjoys the money. She is HAPPY and im so proud of her.

They drive you nuts, tis the law.

Wittering Fri 26-Jun-09 10:47:44

Thank you, both of you. I'm sorry not to have replyed. It is too hard to find words .

Thank you very much for sharing your tough times imaynotbe. I think I feel like you have felt with your dd. I'm vry glad she is finding happiness. That is all we really want for our children isn't it, and yet I am making ds unhappy. He would act better if he felt happpier inhimself, but I just make him feel down onhimself. I feel really ill and useless.

I'l not going to post more but I wanted to thank you for responding.

notevenamousie Fri 26-Jun-09 10:51:26

I know the feeling though mine's littler.

I need to work. I feel negative about everything and can't imagine now, plus there is so much to do with kids etc etc.

A tiny bit at a time. A bit of seeing value in your paid work. In dealing with a single confrontation better. In taking time out that actually helps.

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 11:09:11

My DD taught me some valuable lessons. I wanted so much for her, i wanted the whole university thing (she is certainly bright enough, good job, status. But actually, i wanted it for me - i made us both unhappy by pushing her too hard. Im not saying this is the case with you at all. What i am trying to say is, don't be too hard on yourself.

Your son is a teenager, he is going through some horrible hormonal changes, he has pressure from school etc, just like the rest of them - it is part of his development that he will be sullen and miserable and generally a pain in the arse. I was just the same, i was awful. My DD was awful. My friends DCs were awful. I bet your son is not miserable with other people, i bet your friends think hes great - thats normal too. He is testing his emotions on the people it is safe to test them on. If he tries some of the bullshit he puts on you with other people, he'll get a smack in the mouth - but its a learning curve for him, your his mum, no matter what he does, you love him - he knows that, so thats free rein. If he wasn't sullen and horrible, THAT would be the time to worry!

You screaming at him to get his arse in gear etc is his safety blanket - you don't do it for a while, that'l confuse the bugger!

Teenage years are pants - you have to muddle through best you can.

I was a working mum with DD1 and i went to uni too - i always felt guilt about it, but i know that my DD was very proud of me actually. Your son is proud of you too (but heaven forbid he actually tell you that!).

Be kind to yourself, if this becomes such an issue that you are battling to function - then its a trip to the doctors for you, seriously, there is no shame in asking for some help and it might just help to get some face to face counselling just to put things in perspective, i speak from experience.

Keep your head up, you sound like your doing fine

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 11:09:49

oh, and spare a thought for me DD2 is just STARTING School in september, i have to do this all again!grin

Wittering Fri 26-Jun-09 11:16:37

Thank you imaynotbe. Your words have made me feel quite a bit better.

LoveBeingAMummy Fri 26-Jun-09 16:38:26

Sorry I didn't catch you, hope you are feeling better x

imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy Fri 26-Jun-09 19:26:30

Hope you are feeling better this evening wittering.

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