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Money worries are serious - worried I am about to break

(32 Posts)
namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:15:43

Sorry I am a name changer as I am so ashamed of myself.

Basically DH has been having rough time with job and was made redundant fom his well paid one but was there for less than two years so got a small goodwill payment. We had just found out I was pg with 4th child.

Things were really good before but we made all the cutbacks we could. Anyway he has since got a new job which only pays £160 a week as there is nothing out there and everything he earns is paying bills that we fell behind with the 3 weeks he had no work.

We put a benefit claim in but it is taking ages and thy keep asking for more info.

Things have got so bad now that my cupboards are empty and we have no money until tax credits on Monday.

Tonight I fed my kids the last of their cereal for dinner and I have had a couple of biscuits all day. DH has borrowed £10 to get the basics but wil probably need this for petrol to travel to work.

I feel like such a faliure it's pathetic. I cant beleiev things have got this bad and poor DH is depressed and we keep arguing. I am so worried the effect it is having on both of us.

Sorry just felt I needed to tell somebody and hopefully get advice on how to cope through these times.

crokky Wed 24-Jun-09 22:20:01

Please don't feel ashamed of yourself, you and your DH are doing your best for your family. Is it possible that you could ask either your parents or DH's parents for some help? My MIL always says she will help us if DH loses his job.

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:22:33

No family help. Mine not around and his have said No. It's a strained relationship. I have a sister but she is a single mum and facing the same problems

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:23:39

We knew we had no back up plan. Thats why I am so annoyed with myself for not taking care of my kids properly

bamboostalks Wed 24-Jun-09 22:24:50

You can apply for an emergency loan form the social services. It sounds as if you are starving. Could you put some food on your credit card?

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:26:32

An emergency loan? I will look into that. Will it be a mega high APR payback thing though?

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:28:19

Any credit cards at all?

I see you're getting tax credits, have you filled out your renewal form and written about your changed circumstances?

Are you a renter? If you are, it is possible to get housing/council tax benefit even if working.

Sometimes you have to keep hassling the benefits office about your claim.

BUT it's an 0845 line, so go to your local JobCentre and use one of the phones in there.

What have you got in your cupboards and/or fridge?

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:29:22

Crisis loan has no interest.

See your job centre in person! They'll be able to verify your claim is being processed.

You'll have to pay it back from your benefits, but you can set up a payment plan.

bamboostalks Wed 24-Jun-09 22:30:16

The loans from the social have lower rates.

23balloons Wed 24-Jun-09 22:31:14

sounds really awful. Are any of your dcs as school can they get free lunches. I have no idea what to suggest really. Do you have any friends who could give you some food - credit card to buy the essentials?

Sorry I wish I could be more help

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:35:10

no credit cards,

Did renewal, but with no money and no benefits we paid rent on monday with everything I had.

DO rent and applied for council tax and housing but as DH then got job halfway through claim, had to bmit new details, then they wanted proof of income etc. Everytime I send something in it's taking them a couple of weeks to process. arrrggghhh

I have 1 tin of rice pudding, I apple bramble sauce, 1 bag of rice, some jam, and in fridge some out of date crab sticks and one muller rice. In freezer a tub of neopolitan ice cream.

Abysmal isn't it blush

I should of bought shopping instead of rent but didn't want the worry of late rent hanging over my head

hereidrawtheline Wed 24-Jun-09 22:39:54

I just wanted to say we are there too and I know how horrible it feels.

DH has not lost his job but our expenses and outgoings are totally out of whack. We are pretty crippled financially. He is a manager at an NHS hospital so you would think we are doing ok but we really are not.

A couple of weeks ago I realised I had actually £25 to last us 2 weeks, food and petrol. I cried. I just couldnt believe we were at that point. We borrowed £30 which kept us going til DH sold his guitar. It is worth around £200 and we got £70 for it as we literally had no money and no food. I mean really, no food. So we didnt have time to ebay it etc and we lost a lot of money. I sold my diamond ring several months ago. I am looking for work, we need to be a 2 income family really but DS has SN and I am a SAHM who doesnt drive, in a small village, so finding work has been bloody difficult to say the least. I am a writer and I am hoping to get paid for that soon.

I just wanted to say, I am really sorry. I know how bad this feels. Just keep going one day and one penny at a time and get those benefits sorted out.

I know this is going to sound so trite I am almost embarrassed to post it, but it gave me such a sense of achievement today I wanted to share. Dont take the piss!

I got tesco value plain yoghurt, tesco value tin of fruit cocktail, a bit of milk & a bit of blackcurrant sqaush. Stirred it all together in a big jug and I had the stuff to make around 12 ice lollies for DS (not at once! LOL) to give him treats that are healthy and make him happy. And all the ingredients cost around £1. I say it because I know you have more important things to spend £1 on - rice, potatoes, whatever. But I just wanted to say there are little ways you can bring a ray of sunshine in to your life on such a small amount of money. I know I feel so guilty that we have let DS suffer in some ways because we havent been able to pay for things for him. It is every parents nightmare. So I was really pleased that I could make him one of his favourite treats for such a small amount of money.

I hope you are ok. I understand why you have namechanged but you dont have to. If anyone judged you for it they would be fools.

We are in a recession. The reality still hasnt hit some people. We dont look back on the Depression of the 30's and think "oh what idiots" because Mothers struggled to feed their children. What you are going through is terrible but dont be ashamed. It is sadly part of the human condition and none of us are above it.

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:40:17

Thanks, gonna get centre tomorrow and try this crises loan.

Its hard to borrow money from people as evryone in the same boat at the moment.

I just cant believe we had a £60K income at one time between us and now nothing. Mind you we were young and lived fast and then childcare ate a large majority of it up.

I dont regret giving up that money at all but to go from that to this is a major shock to our marriage IYSWIM

23balloons Wed 24-Jun-09 22:40:19

I feel bad for you if you lived anywhere near me I would gladly give you some food. would your dhs family really see your children without food?

what area of the country are you in?

namechanger2003 Wed 24-Jun-09 22:46:10

Thank you drawtheline. It's amazing but now my whole shop is smart price. I remember DH used to hate it but now he comments on how nice some of the food is. I love that recipe for ice lollies.

23balloons I am in London.

Seriously considering an allotment for times like these but I cant even grow weeds!!!

23balloons Wed 24-Jun-09 22:47:49

Anywhere near sw19/20 - we are in Surrey now but I work in SW19

hereidrawtheline Wed 24-Jun-09 22:51:56

we used to buy organic milk. We're veggie anyway so thankfully havent got to worry about smart price meat which I dont think I could cope with. The only thing we cling to now is free range eggs but I find most of the shops now do 15 oddly sized free range eggs for pretty damn cheap. And you can get some good omelettes out of them.

Beans are very cheap, like a tin of kidney beans. Add some mince and spices & you have chilli to put on top of jacket pots. Another cheap meal that is nice than just jackets for not too much more money.

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:54:59

if you're in western scotland i'll gladly get you some food and bring it to you.

it's called a crisis loan, though and they're used to people needing them whilst their claims are being processed, so don't be embarrassed.

they're for just this: food, utilities, council tax till your claim is processed.

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:55:41

damn! wish you were. would gladly meet up and kit you out with some nice tins and the like.

23balloons Wed 24-Jun-09 22:57:39

Gotta go now but will check back tomorrow.

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:57:41

oh, quesadillas! pack of tortillas. spread one tortilla with refried beans from a tin, cheese and salsa if you fancy or a tin of chopped tom and salt and pepper. put another tortilla over it. grill until cheese melted.

cut into wedges with a pizza wheel.

Kitsilano Wed 24-Jun-09 22:59:02

Where in london are you?

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 22:59:13

try to hang together, namechanger! you're not alone and love is free.

expatinscotland Wed 24-Jun-09 23:03:16

punch up baked beans with BBQ or brown sauce, cumin, paprika, etc. better yet, fry an onion (cheap). add in 2 tsp mild chilli powder, 1/2 tsp salt. chuck in a tin of beans. add in 1 tsp ground cumin, 1 tsp dried mustard and 3 minced garlic cloves.

it's better the next day, but if not, put the beans on bread, add cheese and grill.

BINAH Wed 24-Jun-09 23:04:18

whwre in london are you?

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