So many factors have brought me to where I am right now, (new baby, no sleep, family issues, thwarted house moves etc etc) and here I am in a right old mess. I can't think straight, my memory's gone, I can't cope with my kids and I cry all the time.
I've wondered if it was depression but kept being told it was anxiety do to issues with my parents. I've wondered if its all a normal response to being fucking shattered and under an unreasonable amount of stress. Either way, my HV recommended I go on ADs.
I took them 10 years ago when I was 21 and had the most horrific panic attacks before they kicked in, (side effect of the cipramil). I really don't want that again but I have to do something. Are things any better now and is there anything decent you can take whilst breastfeeding? Would it be disastrous if you got pregnant whilst taking ADs?
And how do you know when the time is right to accept the fact that you need them?
Thanks Yank. Will have a good read of that. Did/do you have any panic attacks with Citalopram?
I think what's finally clicking now is that I just can't deal with the slightest bit of aggro from DH, it just makes me cry whereas normally I would brush it off.
Things got so bad my DS1 has gone to stay with m mum for a week whilst we (hopefully) get DS2 in a bit more of a sorted sleep routine. I now have much less to do, having only one low maintenance baby to care for without my high maintenance toddler, but I'm still absolutely knackered. I can't read, I can't think, I can't make decisions.
No panic attacks for me. But....I have recurrent major depression that's been ongoing since I was 16 (and probably earlier, though that's when it was diagnosed). I very daftly decided to stop my antidepressants (venlafaxine) that I'd been on for 7 years when I got pregnant. I miscarried, but since I had weaned so far down, I decided to stop in case I got pregnant again, which I did three months later.
Another month after, and I was in the depths of ante-natal depression. Some of it was brought on by hyperemesis I think, but I really wish instead of stopping I'd just switched to something safer for pregnancy.
I started on fluoxetine for two months (no response), then a month of Citalopram 10mg (still nothing), then dose changed to 20mg. All the HCPs have been very surprised by the complete change in me. I'm not surprised though, ADs (if the correct drug in correct dose) have always worked like that for me--like a lightbulb going on and I'm myself again in a few days. I realise they don't do that for everyone, and think in my case my depression is really a chemical problem rather than situational.
So....the ADs may help you to cope for a short while, and then you might be able to stop again. Give them some time to work though, I know from talking to others with depression that my 'lightbulb' experiences are not the norm! I think 2-3 weeks is about right for most people to see an improvement (if there's going to be one).