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How do you cope with depression?

(27 Posts)
spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 15:10:39

Im on citalopram but theyre not really working..... life seems to hard to deal with. I just have no motivation for anything.

anyone got any advice. Im so miserable.

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 15:23:44

Do you need to have the dose reviewed? How long have you been on it? How long has the depressive episode been?

All I can say (as someone with recurrent major depression for half my life) is that it does get easier to recognise when you are going into a downward spiral. You have to be willing to ask for help and be persistent. Not the easiest thing to do when all you want to do is hide from the world.

Are you having any kind of 'talking' therapy?

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 16:04:57

have been on citalopram since january. Had my dose increased about 10 days ago.
I dont think it has helped that I havent been out all week but i hate leaving the house. I feel safe here and its so much effort to leave with 2 small children.

I want therapy but the dr said to wait untill uni is over as he doesnt want to put any more demands on me.

Have felt crap for a few weeks now and it seems to be getting worse and worse by the day. I really dont know what to do. I feel like a total failure.

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 16:27:55

My experience is that it takes a while to get a counselor on the NHS, with long waiting lists. Has your GP referred you yet? When you say end of uni, does he mean the current term or the end of your degree?

TBH, I'm not sure I understand why the GP would want you to wait. Counseling is normally and hour once a week, so not like it would take up a load of time. It can be upsetting sometimes, sure, but at least you'd have someone to talk to.

Have you got a partner or friends who know/understand how you're feeling? It makes a huge difference. I've got a good friend who has pretty severe mental health issues including depression, and we both say that at least having a friend who 'gets' depression is very helpful. Some people just won't understand, because they've not experienced it. My husband also struggles with depression/anxiety, so I know he isn't judging me for my off days/weeks/months.

Can I ask what dose you were taking before and what you're on now? I started citalopram recently, and it did nothing at 10mg, but started working at 20mg. You may even need a different drug altogether.

I'm not sure what to say about you not leaving the house, other than I completely understand what that's like. I didn't want to see people or be seen. At one point I suppose you could say I was a bit paranoid that people were looking/laughing at me, or that I was annoying people. When DH did force me out of the house, I found it hard to talk to anyone, just in shops to ask a question, and I'd mumble or talk so quietly they couldn't hear me.

Take any small victory you can. Even if you get out of the house for 10 minutes to walk to the shop and buy a tin of pop, you've done it.

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 16:40:12

im at the end of my degree now so once I have sorted all my work out he said he will refer me. I understand him not wanting to put anything else on my plate. He is a lovely guy and has been very kind and supportive to me through this depression but I fell as though Im at breaking point.
I have told him several times that I think that counciling would be helpful.
Dont have a partner, he is mainly the reason for the depression. I have told a couple of friends about the depression but they dont seem that bothered. One of them checks to see how im feeling everytime we speak and is quite caring bbut I dont feel like the others could care less really. My mum has had depression on and off for years but I think even she is getting fed up of me.
Im on 40mg of citalopram.
I also feel slightly paranoid..... but instead of being quite I look like a total freak and end up giving some poor sole my life story.

I have to go out..... we have no food. the dc's are driving me mad..... neither of them will stop crying.

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 16:47:04

I really dont think i can do this anymore.

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 16:55:18

Not surprising you feel that way, with two small children, no help from partner, and trying to finish a degree!

Is there anyone that can come help you tonight? Your mum maybe?

Otherwise you have to focus on what needs doing this minute. You need food. Can you get something to take away, or have something delivered? Not sure what ages the children are.

Don't worry about putting it on MN. Sometimes it is easier unburdening yourself in relative anonymity.

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 17:02:47

I phoned my mum earlier but she is busy. We dont have any basics so whatever happens I will have to go out.

The kids are just 1 and 2 so I dont wanna really give them take aways either as we had one on weds for ds's birthday.

Just screamed at them both..... the look ds gave me cut me in 2..... he looked frightened of me.....I hate myself.

Thanks for listening to me. I feel so totally alone at the moment. cant go out atm, my face is all blotchy from crying.

Sounds stupid but I really feel like ending it all. I just cant do this anymore, its too much. Dont think I would ever follow it through for the kids sake, Im all they really have but Im not sure how much more i can take.

jrsqueak Fri 19-Jun-09 17:11:00

charlotte that is how I feel a lot of the time - the difference is I have a very supportive husband. I have just started on ad's.
I find that I have to do a list of what i need in the morning and go for it when i am having a good half hour if I am having one. Its really hard I know but you need to take the children out of the house at least once a day. I try and go even if I look like crap.

TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 17:11:20

charlotte, i'm the world's crappest advice i will try not to give any.

I just remember feeling like a failure, i wasn't a failure, but no one could convince me otherwise.

Sometimes lots of different issues get balled into one big one and it makes it hard to focus iykwim?

iF you live in Swaffham i can offer practical help... if not, i can listen

jrsqueak Fri 19-Jun-09 17:13:31

I felt really bad last week that that was how i felt - like ending it but didn't think i would follow through cos of the children. whereabouts in the country are you?

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 17:16:05

I know it was just Wednesday, but takeaway twice in a week when you're having a rough time won't be the end of the world. As for basics, could you order online with tesco, asda, or sainsburys? You may still be able to get a delivery slot for tomorrow if you do it soon. For the blotchiness, you need loads of cold water, and try to breathe deeply and stay calm (easier said than done I know).

The thing is, you don't really want to die, but you want the pain to stop. Have you told the GP you're feeling like this?

Loads of people on MN have lost it and screamed at their kids. It happens. Don't load that on yourself right now.

I'm so sorry, I have to go out now too. Will come back later to chat if you like. Hang in there, and phone your mum or your sympathetic friend again!

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 17:18:37

Thanks, Im going to attempt to go out now. Not looking forward to it. Ds is tired and is going to moan. Think I will just grab the esentials and come home.

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 17:20:19

Im from bristol. I will have to go out. we have no wet wipes.

Thanks for the support. I will be back on later.

TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 17:22:10

It IS hard ging out with two children so close in age. You really are not alone.

jrsqueak Fri 19-Jun-09 17:22:25

I agree - takeaway or beans/spaghetti/egg on toast is not the end of the world. I scream at my kids terribly at the min and even think they would be better offc without me. Hope u r ok. I am here if you need to chat

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 17:46:55

pizza on its way! exp dropping in wet wipes.

TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 17:51:52

Good news. smile

When i offer advice, charlotte, i sound like a patronising old woman.

I wish i had words of wisdom.

It IS fecking hard.
There are so many on here with great advice, you take care and try to have a relaxing evening x

TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 17:54:50

dark come soon

TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 17:55:48


sorry wrong thread!


TaLcYeth Fri 19-Jun-09 18:06:52

...Having re read your thread title, i see that you are actually asking a question... so i shall return later and let you know how i coped with depression.... then i won't actually be offering advicesmile

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 18:20:01

dont worry i just did that on another thread.

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 18:26:26

Glad you're getting some food in and exP is coming round with the wet wipes. Any chance he will stick around for a bit so you can get out of the house and get a few things (mainly just to have a bit of time to yourself?).

spookycharlotte121 Fri 19-Jun-09 19:21:13

I doubt it. His gf doesnt like us spending time together so its more than likely that he will drop the wipes off at the door and dash back out again. I dont know when he finishes work either. He drives a taxi and it might be busy with it being a friday night.

YanknCock Fri 19-Jun-09 19:27:01

Ah fair enough. Well, at least the dinner and the wipes are sorted. Are DC going to bed soon/already in bed? How are you doing now?

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