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A new thread for stressedmummy

(563 Posts)
soapbox Wed 11-May-05 22:05:10


Ulysees Wed 11-May-05 22:18:35


stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:19:23


puska Wed 11-May-05 22:20:47

hey there i'm still with you xxx

Ulysees Wed 11-May-05 22:20:56


charleepeters Wed 11-May-05 22:23:02

hi stressed mummy dont know much about you but i just wanted to say hi!

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:23:06

Thankyou I really appreciate you all listning to me. It is helping me a lot to have your support.

Ulysees Wed 11-May-05 22:24:11

I have to go now but I'll be back tomorrow to see how you are xx night night

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:24:36

Hi charleepeters!
You may not want to know too much about me , as it is all very depressing ATM.

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:25:32

Night ulysees & thanks.

soapbox Wed 11-May-05 22:27:32

SM - have copied out your main post of yesterday and todays one so that people coming to this thread for the first time have some idea what you are going through without you needing to repeat yourself!

Hope that's OK

Yesterdays main post:

Sorry to have to post such a doom & gloom thread, but I am going out of my mind & really need to talk.
I am using my stressed nick name because I am stressed ATM!
I have suffered from depression after the birth of ds2, mainly because of the problems with dh at the time & quickly got the help I needed in the form of AD's & counselling.
I started to feel more on top of things again & eventually came off the AD's.
I have a dh with a very volitile temper (as some of you may know) who never wanted the kids & is not the worlds most ideal father.
Anyway, ds1 (who has been at school since September) is having bad social & interaction problems at school, which do not seem to be improving at all & it is making me blame myself as a mother, as well as wondering if dh's temper is to blame for a lot of it.
I asked how he had been today & was told that he had been the same as usual, wandering around the class, not focused during group activities etc.
I told my H & he made him throw his TV game away (which I have since saved) & sent him to bed telling him he would go to a naughty boys school.
My ds was very distressed & so was I.
I went to go after him, but H stopped me because he was dealing with things.
My H told me he wished there was a home he could put him in & also shouted at me that to die in his sleep would be a pleasure.
My H is in a bad mood because he had asked my Mum to keep ds2 awake today (she looked after him this morning) because my H had to take over at miday & wanted to continue to sleep after his nights.
My Mum didn't do as he said because she thought he was tired & put ds in the cot for an .hour before H picked him up.
H was very angry & told my Mum that ds2 would be going back to bed all afternoon regardless. And he has, bless him.
I work in the same school that my ds1 attends, so know all the staff personally & it is doing me in.
I have a follow up meeting with his class teacher & the SENCO soon & the way I am feeling right now, I just know I will be a wreck the whole way through it.
I have spoken to my HV & arranged for her to come & see me, but she can only fit me in on the day that is normally my half day, but this particular one is a school trip, so I will have to work all day.
I feel like I am not dealing with things properly ATM & am wondering if I am slipping back into depression.
Sorry for this miserable post, as I know you have all had enough of this kind of thing, but I really needed to talk about things, as there I don't really admit how bad things are to people in RL & feel like I am reaching breaking point.

Today's update:

I have been at work all day & then trying to keep my ds's out of H's way when I got home, because he was getting very angry trying to put together a coupe car, which I bought ds2 for his birthday.
The car was not going together easily & was making him very cross.
He was banging it extra hard with the hammer & swearing lots.
He said if I ever buy plastic sh*t for them again, then God help me.
Ds2 was whinging at the time & at one stage someone phoned to speak to me, so H threw the screw driver down hard on the sofa, grabbed ds2 & chucked him in his cot.
The angry nature of H at the time was making me feel very tense & on edge, but ds1 was watching TV & almost seemed not to be phased by Daddy acting so cross at all.
I guess he is kind of used to it.
this kind of temper is the kind that H demonstrates when angry.
He does not physicaly hurt us, so I don't feel we are really in danger as such, it just makes you feel all tense inside.
I must admit that the thought of a refuge type place is a very scary thought ATM.

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:30:11

Thankyou soapbox. You are a complete star!

charleepeters Wed 11-May-05 22:32:01

aww stressed mummy i feel for you i really do i am on ad's and have been since i was 14 i stopped taking them when i was pg with ds but am now sadly back on them im sorry to here things are bad for you, sorry but i cant bring myself to say anything positive about your h from what i have read he isnt helping ds at all. but anyway im here to listen if you someone whos also coping with depression x

Blu Wed 11-May-05 22:32:24

StressedMummy - Your life sounds very very difficult and I think any of us would be miserable if we had to cope with what you cope with. Actually, if i am honets, I feel quite frightened for you.
Money is important, but self-esteem is priceless, yours and your children's.....

soapbox Wed 11-May-05 22:32:34

Well I'm not really good with the tea and sympathy bit so glad to help out with the practical stuff

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:37:09

Really appreciate it!

Caribbeanqueen Wed 11-May-05 22:39:39

did you ever make that appointment with the solicitor?

foxd Wed 11-May-05 22:40:54

Thats rough not being able to relax in your own home. Are your family and friends aware of your situation?

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:43:02

Going to try & go to bed now, as I am very tired due to being awake for most of last night.
Have had a bacardi & an oveltine to try & aid my sleep!
Thankyou to everyone who has given me support.
Much as I don't appear to be doing anything to help my situation ATM, I will get there & you have all given me great advice to mull over in my head.
Will keep you updated.

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:43:38

Not really foxd.

stressedmummy Wed 11-May-05 22:46:51

I found out the solicitor that I wanted to see (the woman one) was no longer around & lost all courage.
I am soon having my HV come to visit me & I will speak to her about things & see if she can point me in the right direction.
I will get this sorted. Promise.

puska Thu 12-May-05 16:13:23

Hi Stressedmummy how are things today?xx

Ulysees Thu 12-May-05 16:42:49

How's things SM?

Make sure you're totally honest with your HV when you see her especially if you feel comfortable with her. When is she due to come?

stressedmummy Thu 12-May-05 17:04:25

Hi ulysees.
I intend to be completly honest with my HV.
She knows quite a bit about me as it is, because I confided in her when I had my depression after ds1.
H was a lot to do with my depression after the birth due to his very negative attitude towards his new son.
She also knows a lot about his temper & she went as far as to ask if he hurt me.
I feel quite comfortable talking to her, as she does not know H personally.

Ulysees Thu 12-May-05 17:17:38

glad to hear it SM

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