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Struggling with thinking about horrible cases of child abuse/murder

(14 Posts)
Stefka Sat 13-Jun-09 18:50:09

I know everyone finds these upsetting but I feel it is really overwhelming for me. I keep having thoughts about the Bulger case as I have a little boy and I just feel distraught thinking about it.

Any tips on how to stop feeling so overwhelmed by these sorts of thoughts?

sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 18:55:33

Oh God, i am the same, once the thought is in my head, i cant get it out and it makes me feel mentally ill.
cant breath
sobbing until i want to vomit
suddenly feel like i have been hit by a wall of bricks.
It is a feeling of bieng totally overwhelmed with sadness and distress.

I have to wait for the thoughts to go and they do after a short time.
I also do not allow myself to view anything on tv or switch over the news, i just dont allow it into my head.

Even those adverts for kids with dirty water make me feel ill.

Then of course i feel guilty for burying my head in the sand.
I do understand what you mean.

Stefka Sat 13-Jun-09 19:01:18

It's just awful isn't it. I was with someone today who started talking about this case and I had to walk away from her but I still can't get it out of my head. I feel ill. DH gets annoyed with me and tells me not to think about it but I find it hard to switch off.

sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 19:13:19

I think that it is more acute when you have a child as well.
Certainly for me, i was far more hardfaced prior to having my son.
I suddenly got the thought of Jamie Bulger in my ehad one day walking home from playschool with ds, i literally went to pieces there and then in the street.

I have before now said to someone telling me something awful "im sorry but i cant deal with this that you are telling me, please can you stop. I dont want to know".

Its the preservation of my mental health i am afraid.

I do talk about it with dh, he doesnt get annoyed, he gives me a cuddle and tells me that WE are alright, that our boy is safe and healthy and that is all we need worry about.
He is lovely my dh smile

I recently posted about bieng very upset by people who walk along too fast holding a small childs hand, (i got completely ripped to shreds sad) This is quite silly BUT it upsets me for days thinking about the little ones legs going 10 to the dozen because the adult isnt aware of the childs struggling! Thats how silly i am!!Im completely barmy me arent i, at least you get upset over actual awful things, according to the mumsnetters who answered me on that thread, i should keep my opinions to myself and worry about things that matter. sad

Stefka Sat 13-Jun-09 21:05:16

I wish my DH would react like that. You are lucky.

I don't think it is silly to be upset about these things - feelings are feelings. I think I would like to be able to shut my mind off to it more than I do now though for my own sanity.

sunburntats Sat 13-Jun-09 22:06:22

Its impossible because its everywhere isnt it.

jarbelle Sun 14-Jun-09 02:01:58

I never realised when I had a kid, everything about kids affects me.

It must be the mother in us but I sobbed today at a woman giving birth to triplets and them being in NICU (ds was in there for a couple of weeks).

I honestly try to avoid the news as it either makes me angry or sad. The Bulger case is horrific. Now I have a ds, even more so.

Sunburntats, your dh sounds lovely, mine tells me to get a grip!

Devendra Sun 14-Jun-09 11:49:14

It took me WEEKS to stop compulsively thinking about Baby P.. and all that I had read was a couple of paragraphs.. every time my DS would wake in the night crying i would imagine how it would have been for baby P.. nobody to go and cuddle him. The same with Jamie Bulger.. I have to actively avoid reading anything to do with child abuse stories..especially the details. I completely sympathise..really. what helps me is tring to match each bad thought with a good one...

Stefka Sun 14-Jun-09 18:02:05

I avoided that one as much as possible too. I need to try my best to focus on other things.

sunburntats Sun 14-Jun-09 18:04:23

Best way stefka.

How are you today?

suwoo Sun 14-Jun-09 18:11:27

I was the same about Baby Peter. I went to the Dr who was a bit hmm but sort of understood. I started using rescue remedy which did help. The big thing for me, was my DS strongly resembled some of the photos of Peter and was a similar age. I did get quite irrational and think that my DS was baby P when he awoke in the night and other strange things.

It seems to have abated now. Have to force myself not to think about it, which in turn makes me feel guilty.

Vicious circle.

Stefka Sun 14-Jun-09 20:39:18

I feel more grounded today. I tend to suffer from anxity anyway and I am guessing this is part of that.

I had forgotten about Rescue Remedy - it's good stuff I should get some!

peggotty Sun 14-Jun-09 20:49:01

I also was extremely upset about Baby P, couldn't get to sleep or woke up in the night thinking about it. It became almost an obsession and with hindsight was actually the start of depression which I am now having treatment for. Maybe you should consider seeing your gp, if you already suffer from anxiety it may be a sign things are getting a bit out of your control?

Stefka Sun 14-Jun-09 21:10:19

I go through stages of bad anxiety and have had depression in the past. I have taken meds for anxiety and took anti-depressantes for a few years. I really hate being on meds though

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