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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

I have my 2nd counselling session tomorrow

27 replies

SPARKLER1 · 09/05/2005 21:03

Well the first session I had was really a "get to know me" session. Not sure what to expect out of tomorrow. Again the ADs are working well and making me feel good. Have done for a good while now. Why do I feel like I'm wasting the counsellors time now I am feeling good. I know when I felt low I knew counselling could possibly help but now I'm not so sure.

OP posts:

Report

morningpaper · 09/05/2005 21:06

Lots of people feel like they are wasting their counsellor's time - it's quite normal to feel guilty and also to have doubts - even after months of counselling! I hope it goes well. xx

SPARKLER1 · 09/05/2005 21:07

Thanks Morningpaper it's reassuring to hear that.

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Katemum · 09/05/2005 21:09

You are not wasting anyones time. Go, you need to give it a chance and see if it is for you.
Sorry, feeling bossy tonight

SPARKLER1 · 09/05/2005 21:11

Thanks Katesmum. All I could think about at my first session was what am I doing here? There are people out there feeling much worse than me - I'm taking up an appointment that they could be using. Typical of me to worry about everyone else except myself.

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KristinaM · 09/05/2005 21:21

Please give it a go Sparkler. I found it really helped me when I was depressed - helped me work through lots of stuff from my past. Also taught me some new coping strategies. So next time I felt myself going down that route again i was able to recognise it and stop myself.

Sometimes its like going to the gym - you feel like you cant be bothered or you dont need it anymore. And you tell yourself that you are too tired, coming down with something etc so you dont have to go. But you have to keep going as that's probably a sign that you are getting down to the nitty gritty. Its also normal to get TOTALLY pi**ed off with your counsellor

I hope this makes sense as I'm not a regular on this thread so dont know anything about your situation.

SPARKLER1 · 09/05/2005 21:24

|don't think I really know what my situation is either really. Thought I was suffering from PND after dd2 but it continued for over 3 years and GP said that it couldn't be that now.
I've lots of things in the past that have happened - maybe it's all caught up with me after having the kids. Who knows? The way I feel at the moment is that counselling won't really help and that I will have to deal with it myself.

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blueteddy · 09/05/2005 21:27

That is EXACTUALLY how I felt SPARKLER!
I was starting 2 feel more human after a few weeks of AD's & thought it was a complete waste of her time.
Saying that, as soon as you get in there & start talking, a lot of issues often pop up & you realise that there are still problems 2 deal with.
I even said to my counseller once that I felt that I shouldn't really be there with my silly problems when there are people who have recently lost people etc & my counseller told me that everyone deals with situations differently & some people deal with a birth 4 instance, worse than others deal with a death.
I think it is common to feel like you are wasting their time, especially when the AD's kick in, but you are NOT wasting their time at all!
Good luck 2morro!

KristinaM · 09/05/2005 21:38

Sparkler - counselling is kind of about dealing with it yourself, in that the counsellor wont give you any answers or tell you what to do or not to do. They just help you think things through in a different way and help you look at your own feelings and needs. They should help you find your own answers. Even if you are not really sure what the question is.

Sorry i am rubbish at explaining

SPARKLER1 · 09/05/2005 22:01

Thanks KristinaM. I know what you mean. I dont think I'm expecting the counsellor to take all my problems away, whatever they may be that are causing me to feel the way I am. Only have the one session I could see roughly where it was going to lead. She was showing me where some of my feelings were stemming from in a way that I had never though of before.
Gonna go get some sleep now. Thanks for listening. I'm sure I'll be back on here tomorrow to chat about the session. It helps me in some ways to type it all out on here anyway. x Night all. x

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Katemum · 09/05/2005 22:04

Night x

Evesmama · 09/05/2005 22:25

GOOD LUCK SWEETIE!
let me know how it go's

blueteddy · 16/05/2005 22:10

How did it go SPARKLER?

SPARKLER1 · 16/05/2005 22:15

Hi Blueteddy? You are so kind asking. It went okay thanks. Found it a bit easier than the first session. So much is covered in these sessions that I come out and forget what she has said to me. I remember bits and pieces. She has given me some "homework" to do. Have to write a letter to my dd explaining how I feel towards him and what I would like from him. She told me that I don't have to sent it to him, I can tear it up if I want but it might help. I also have to dig out some photos of when I was a kid with my family.

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blueteddy · 16/05/2005 22:18

She sounds like a good counsellor SPARKLER!
It does get easier doesn't it?
I found the first one the most daunting & it got easier & easier from then on in, to the point that I was pretty comfortable talking to her in the end.

SPARKLER1 · 16/05/2005 22:20

How are you at the moment then?

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blueteddy · 16/05/2005 22:22

Up & down TBH.
Last week I was all over the place.
I seem to have a couple of fine days followed by a day of being a complete wreck!
I am hopefully seeing my HV next week.
How about you?

SPARKLER1 · 16/05/2005 22:24

Look after yourself. We are so good at dishing out the advice to each other aren't we? When it comes to ourselves it's another matter. LOL
I'm doing good actually. I think the tablets are working well.

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blueteddy · 16/05/2005 22:26

Good, glad to hear it!
Hopefully the AD's along side the counselling will help you out loads & we will have a happy SPARKLER!

SPARKLER1 · 16/05/2005 22:27

We need to work on you too!!!!!

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blueteddy · 16/05/2005 22:29

Yes I definitely need working on ATM!
I have a feeling I will be back on the tablets very shortly.

SPARKLER1 · 17/05/2005 20:25

Take care of yourself x

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blueteddy · 17/05/2005 20:39

Thanks.
I spoke to my HV today (her ds2 is in the class I work in) & she is going to sort me out a visit as soon as she can.
She is so busy & because I work, it could be another couple of weeks.

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SPARKLER1 · 17/05/2005 21:20

Hold her son hostage until she gives you and urgent appointment!!!

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blueteddy · 17/05/2005 21:22

Do you think that would work??!!

Lonelymum · 17/05/2005 21:23

Sparkler, don't feel guilty for wasting the counsellor's time. I am watching the Monastery programme on BBC2 at the moment and I was just thinking how marvellous it would be to be there and able to talk things through with someone ready to listen and guide. I am sure there are still things you can talk about and benefit from discussing.

Flip

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