suffering from depression - possibly PND - anyone else got pregnant while depressed and if so, what happened to your mental state?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

I have a history of depression and was very worried about PND when I had my DS (who is now 14 months) but, to my great joy and relief I was fine.

I gave up breastfeeding at 11 months and since then have felt worse and worse.

The doctor has sent me to a councelling service who think that i possibly have PND (its definatly some form of depression) and that it may have been masked by the breastfeeding hormones.

The thing is, we are trying for another baby - Due to DH's age its kind of now or never - and I do want to have another child - I am just really, really scared that I might go into total metldown if I combine the pregnancy hormones with whatever is going on in my head at the moment.

Does anyone else have any experiance of this?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

Bump! Anyone?

[AnguaVonUberwald]

Bump! [slighly pathetic emoticon]

[AnguaVonUberwald]

Anyone?

[MrsMattie]

My honest and blunt answer is - I would not try for another baby if I had PND.

I had PND after the birth of my first child and I wanted another baby, too - so I do sympathise. However, I was barely coping with daily life with one child and it seemed nonsensical to bring another child into the equation.

My depression lifted when my son was close to 2 yrs old, and I got pregnant shortly afterwards. Honestly, I am so glad I waited until i was feeling better. The whole experience has been wonderful - so much better - and ~I have coped amazingly well in comparison to first time round. I feel scared when I think what going from one to two would have been like with depresion. It is a big leap and not one to take lightly (hope that doesn't sound patronising).

So, honestly - I think you should concentrate on getting well first, before you heap a whole lot more responsibility on to your plate.

[Rones]

Hi AnguaVonUberwald - I have to agree with MrsMattie, depression and 2 small children is a hell of a lot to deal with and it might be worth waiting, even just a few months longer until you're feeling a bit more stable in yourself. I suffered very bad PND after the birth of my dd (the worse period was the first 4 months) and still have my very down days even now and she's 13 months old. I've realised how important it is to know your own limits and realise how much stress you feel you can deal with. We have had a huge amount of stress within a year (having dd, getting married 10 weeks later - mad I know - then moving house a couple of weeks ago) and we know for sure that we wouldn't even consider another child until our dd is at least 3 and we are able to get the government funded nursery hours. We both work and share the childcare and don't have family around so it's tough. There are lots of things to take into account but your mental state is at the top of the list of things to consider, I can't stress that enough.

Anyway, of course it's your decision and I hope you can find a way of reaching a solution that both you and your partner are happy with. Good luck.

[Rhian82]

I suffered with depression before having DS (who's my first, and only). The first thing that happened was that my depression got worse - I didn't know I was pregnant, but looking back the dates tally for conception and when I had several weeks off work and had to change my anti-depressants. When I found out I was pregnant I had to change my anti-depressants again to a suitable one (Imipramine). I kept forgetting to take them though and slowly just stopped ? and was fine. DS is now 7 months and I haven't had a recurrence.

So, in short, pregnancy made my depression worse at first, but then got rid of it completely (for now at least), which was nice.

[AnguaVonUberwald]

Ladies, you all speak much sense

But for me, there are several issues here.

I agree having a baby while suffering PND, not the best idea in the world, however: I have a history of depression - though not suffered for some time, so I don't think its going to go away any time soon.

This only seems to have hit me when DS is 1! (I think its something to do with the breastfeeding hormones hiding it up till now)

So like Riahna82 - I am hoping that pregnancy/breastfeeding hormones are going to mask it again.

As I said, I have a history of depression - so I am very aware that you can't stop your life because of it - at the same time as I am really, really scared that if I go down hill in a major way it will have a bad effect on DS and DH - never mind the new baby.

I am getting councelling - its not free, but it is subsedised, and its not time limited, so I hope that will help (the money is not easy to find but DH is being every supportive)

Riahan82 - I am hoping that the pregnancy hormones etc will actually help - I certainly felt fine during and after my pregnancy - but am so scared it could go the other way and I could fall appart!

[Rones]

Yes it really is a tricky one and I feel for you. Like you I also have a history of depression having suffered severe bouts aged 14, 18, 21 and then not again until after I had my baby aged 29. I was very aware whilst pregnant that I was at higher risk of suffering from PND. My mental health was mostly fine until I found out that dd was breach at about 7.5 months pregnant and then gradually became more anxious as my caesarean date loomed. I was petrified and literally shook all the way through the c-section. I hit a massive low following the birth and during the months that followed. Like you, I breastfed for 11 months but unfortunately I can't say that this helped me at all in keeping the depression at bay. I'm actually quite envious that you managed to keep it at bay that way!! I'm not making light of your situation but it does sound very encouraging that you were able to keep the depression away during your pregnancy and beyond.

Just out of interest, do you think that you may have suffered a 'normal' bout of depression from ds being aged 1 onwards? Do you think it could be a reaction to you stopping breastfeeding in a more emotional sense, maybe you feeling like the close bond you had whilst breastfeeding has been broken? I'm just trying to look at the situation from every possible angle.

You're right, depression is something I think we have to learn with having and it can't stop us from living our lives and doing what we want to do. My only worry is that having 2 children might be too much for you if you are feeling fragile. Maybe the best you can hope to do is find a period when you're feeling quite stable most of the time and then start trying? However, it could take a little while to conceive (I have no idea of your history in this respect) so the chances are you'll start to feel better by the time you actually do fall pregnant. Have you been able to spot any patterns in your depression over the years? does it tend to last just a certain set time and then go?

It's great that you're going for counselling and I would highly recommend CBT if you can get this at all although I know it's not easy.

There is so much to think about - don't hestitate to post again if you need to talk things through some more....

I hope this is of some hel to you.