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Borderline personality disorder more info...

(14 Posts)
sb9 Mon 25-May-09 15:41:55

Hi,

I know I cant and i wont diagnose other people but as i said in another post Borderline personality sounded very familar to me in terms of how i have experienced life with my father and sister.

Could someone give me any more info?

I suffer from depression brought about by an awful divorce and subsequent traumantic childhood where my father played games and my siter went off the rails.

I feel the family scapegoat whereby people feel they can say hurtful things to me and i do suffer with low self esteem. I can expand if need be..

Thanks

sb9 Wed 27-May-09 14:44:01

Take it no info, i was hoping someone could give me an insight as to what its like to have this condition or to be a part of a family where they are affected...

akhems Wed 27-May-09 14:45:59

try having a read www.bpdcentral.com/resources/basics/indicators.shtml

theres a lot of info and they have support groups and forums you can join, you can just lurk and read if you like, is what I do.

My daughter has bpd and it's quite difficult to live with at times

sb9 Wed 27-May-09 17:38:12

Thank you, I will take a look and post on the forum too as i feel i need to find out more. Thanks.

akhems Thu 28-May-09 02:34:28

I found it very helpful, just to discover there are other people out there in similar circs and how they cope etc

Hope it helps you too

akhems Thu 28-May-09 02:40:01

I found it very helpful, just to discover there are other people out there in similar circs and how they cope etc

Hope it helps you too

akhems Thu 28-May-09 02:40:17

I found it very helpful, just to discover there are other people out there in similar circs and how they cope etc

Hope it helps you too

akhems Thu 28-May-09 02:40:51

arrgh sorry, internet messed up blush

SuperBunny Thu 28-May-09 02:52:19

There's lots of threads in the archives on this. Good luck.

Joiningnamechangers Thu 28-May-09 02:56:29

Just saw this thread and thought I'd respond (have name changed as this isn't a condition that one would generally admit to openly).

I was diagnosed with BPD around the age of 20 I think, around a year after I had DD.

Essentially, BPD is a label for a combination of symptoms, which an individual may or may not have all of.

In my case, I can say that my BPD developed over my teenage years. I suffered depression and mood swings from 12 onwards, began self-harming at 16, engaging in risky sexual behaviour (threesomes, lesbian affairs, affairs with far far older married men etc). I felt wholly isolated from my peers at school, completely miserable and wanting some kind of emotional stability I think. I fell for completely inappropriate guys, couldn't maintain any kind of normal relationship and lurched from emotional crisis to emotional crisis. I did, however, manage to maintain straight A grades throughout my life so people didn't tend to focus on my issues since I was still achieving academically.

I had DD at 19 and for a year I managed to be completely focused on her and on motherhood. However, I began an affair with a woman I met at a mother and baby group (who was married), began self-harming again and took my first overdose a few days after DD's 1st birthday. For the following two years I was essentially totally fucked up.

I self-harmed most days, was an in-patient in a hospital twice (I had a choice - come in voluntarily or be sectioned) and took a ridiculously large overdose when DD was 2.

I couldn't cope with life at all. I had no strong sense of identity, continued to feel removed from my peers, felt that I didn't fit in anywhere and craved some kind of emotional balm that would soothe me, yet failed to find it.

When DD was 2 and I was an in-patient on the psych ward for the 2nd time, a nurse said something fairly profound to me which made me sit up and take stock of things. He told me I could choose to be a perpetual patient or I could choose to live properly. Whilst it's certainly easier said than done, that marked a turning point.

I haven't self-harmed in around 6 years now. I still think in a BPD way a lot of the time. I still get depressed and still have suicidal thoughts. However, I don't act on them. I've vowed that I'll never be hospitalised again. To all intents and purposes I'm living a fairly successful life. The notion of having a stable and happy relationship remains elusive to me but perhaps that will change as the years go on. I've had some therapy recently which has made me recognise patterns of behaviour which I previously hadn't acknowledged.

Anyway, apologies that this has turned into a mini-autobiography. I'm not sure if it's helped you. Probably Akhems' link is more useful grin

sb9 Thu 28-May-09 19:21:57

No, it helps. My sister has done alot of odd things which have hurt i expect herself and they hurt the family.

Can i ask, do people with BPD know they are hurting people and they may be wrong or do they just think they all right all the time?

Just wondered. That other forum is great byt the way so thanks for that!

katiek123 Thu 04-Jun-09 09:55:49

there is an excellent book called, i think, 'walking on eggshells' - google it to see if you can find it or look on amazon - v helpful!

weirdonamechanger Thu 04-Jun-09 11:57:38

Hi there

I have just been diagnosed with this - its scarey but in many ways very reassuring - I now know why I act in an inappropriate manner and have weird rages and problems with my (incredibly patient, fabulous, understanding) dh.

I would welcome the chance to chat to anyone else with this diagnosis. Feel free to CAT me. I would love it.

Its a horrendous thought to realise you have such major issues. I'm scared, and waiting to hear about therapy (dialetical behaviour therapy) for me and dh to deal with my problems. He is very relieved that he knows why I act the way I do, why fly off the handle etc .....

We should support one another!

ErikaMaye Wed 17-Jun-09 11:46:39

Heya, I'm BPD too.

sb9 - A lot of the time I don't realise I'm hurting or upsetting people. And then sometimes I do, and I just don't care. Its very confusing.

One of my most difficult parts to deal with is the physcotic episodes. I hear voices, I see things... Its under control at the moment, but still comes to the surface when I'm mega-stressed or worked up.

I'm so paranoid. Convinced people are trying to kill me, that people are going to break into the house, that even my close friends and my DB have poisioned my food. When I first found out I was pregnant (DB didn't want me to keep it, has now come round) I used to make him start eating way before me to make sure he hadn't poisioned it because I was keeping the baby. The other night I didn't sleep because I thought he was going to stab me. I'm even convinced our animals are planning against me.

Its a nightmare of a condition to live with on occassion. Would recommend Aripripozole to anyone who's phycosis is playing up - still heard and saw things but they were muffled and not so discontenting.

Am medication and self-harm free since I found out I was expecting, am really proud of myself.

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