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Anybody else find the news too depressing?

(44 Posts)
zebraX Thu 05-May-05 21:07:37

Could change my name for this, but it's not a crisis thing, just a bit difficult for me. I wonder if other people feel the same, or is there a way I can find to not let these things get to me so much.

When awful things happen & get reported -- like Abigail Witchells, deaths of children, horrendous abuse stories, etc. -- I feel so upset. A little boy at DS's school died last weekend (very suddenly, somewhat tragically) and it's prayed on my mind the last few days. I'm still getting on with my own life, but I couldn't sleep last night thinking about the local boy, for instance. I find myself avoiding news reports because I don't want to hear about the awful things happening in the world. Just upsets me too much.

Is that OTT? Before I had children I didn't mind so much, but now any time I hear about terrible harm, esp. done to children, & esp. if there is an element of injustice or tragedy about it, just guts me.

Or do other people feel the same?

CountessDracula Thu 05-May-05 21:09:28

yes

I can't bear anything at all to do with children being hurt or killed, or parents for that matter.

I was crying on the tube this am at the picture of the US soldier holding the dead baby that had been blown up

Used to be tough as nails (ish) - I think it's called being a parent.

snafu Thu 05-May-05 21:12:02

Absolutely feel the same. I once heard something along the lines of 'motherhood is like an open wound' (probably not correct quote but do ykwim?...) It's not OTT at all.

e.g. Five years ago, when the Sarah Payne story was front-page news, I thought 'Oh, how awful' and that was it. Now I have ds and the other day I heard her mother on the radio talking about it and felt sick to my stomach and could not get rid of the feeling and thoughts all day.

pinkmama Thu 05-May-05 21:26:29

Think its quite normal zebraX. Mine kicked in during 1st pg and have never been the same again. Have to be particularly careful what I read/watch whilst pg, but struggle with any child or parent story at other times as well. Most of my friends are the same.

macwoozy Thu 05-May-05 21:27:07

Yes, I''ve changed so much since being a parent. Before I didn't feel so sensitive or emotional when watching the news about children suffering, it did upset me but TBH I never gave it so much thought afterwards. It didn't play on my mind. But now I find myself becoming tearful over the slightest thing when children are involved. I think as parents we just so want to protect them all.

ionesmum Thu 05-May-05 21:29:01

I feel exactly the same, to the extent where I gave up reading newspapers for a while. I think your perception of suffering changes so much once you have your own child.

Newbarnsleygirl Thu 05-May-05 21:36:29

When the Ian Huntley Trial was going on, I couldn't watch the news at all. In fact I found it hard to watch any telly.

It was at the same time as dd was born and it just made me feel physically sick.

mummytummy Thu 05-May-05 21:36:40

I refuse to buy newspapers and watch the news - I'm hopeless on a quiz team, but a lot happier for not hearing all the doom and gloom!!! Even the NSPCC adverts make me cry!!!!

QueenEagle Thu 05-May-05 21:39:45

Yes. I can get very emotional when it comes to suffering/deaths of babies and children. I think seeing other people's emotions makes me more likely to blub too.

Newbarnsleygirl Thu 05-May-05 21:46:13

Dh goes barmy when I tell him to turn the news off. He thinks I should watch it so I know whats happening in the world.

Why should I bother when all it's about is people dying, being killed, war and other depressing subjects.

jamiesam Thu 05-May-05 21:55:24

Yes

I feel more human now though - and wonder how I could have been so heartless in the past? I have always cried easily at good films and so on, but since having ds's I find any stories that involve awful things happening to children, well, I just turn on the waterworks. And recently when I saw a dead squirrel on the road, I got very emotional when I realised I'd have to explain death to my boys one day. Mood lightened immediately afterwards as I nearly crashed the car with the boys in the back!

ionesmum Thu 05-May-05 22:07:22

Definitely agree with you about feeling more human. I was putting my name forward fo rthe selection process for ordination when I found I was expecting dd1. I now realsie I would have been absoluely hopless as a priest without experiencing the vulnerability that comes from having your own children.

melsy Thu 05-May-05 22:09:06

I know it sounds silly but im so glad for this thread. I was feeling that I was also being ott or still deep down suffering ptsd& pnd and it was worrying me. So thankyou zebraX for opening up here and allowing me to feel normal.

Like queen eagle and many others , seeing other peoples pain and suffering, it is quite hard not to choke up. Its as if your empathetic response qaudruples.

I just cant read or watch much news now, and even goes to several programmes and films(I sobbed & sobbed watchin "behind enemy lines" a couple of weeks ago and couldnt sleep for 2 hours after).Dh was quite sympathetic to it and was Very touched but with the news Dh says I should be watching and not be so ignorant to it all, but why whenI know that 80% of it is sad and depressing why should I pay attention.

melsy Thu 05-May-05 22:10:44

meant to say I was very touched when dh was sympathetic to my reaction the other night.

saadia Thu 05-May-05 22:31:00

I too find all this news very depressing and have done for a long time. I get especially worried when terrible things are reported in the local paper. I just can't make any sense of it except to conclude that the world is a really terrible place and sometimes wonder why on earth I brought ds1 and ds2 into it.

I also agree with everyone who feels more sensitive since becoming a parent. It's almost as if every child you hear about who is suffering or has suffered is in some way your own child.

zebraX Fri 06-May-05 12:39:10

I find it very hard to watch movies, too. I really like Trainspotting.... but I couldn't watch it again today, not unless they cut all the bits with the Baby in it...

dinosaur Fri 06-May-05 12:47:16

Me too zeb.

I think that's why I am so haunted by jangus's threads. I've even been dreaming about her dd.

sarah259 Tue 10-May-05 13:07:28

Totally, totally, totally. I can't bear to hear anything remotely bad in the news becasue thats whats going to happen to my dd next. Always have terrribe thoughts last thing at night, which goes towards not sleeping. My worrying can become almost obssesive and makes me anxiety-ridden. Try my hardest to be relaxed and laidback but hey! Never going to happen

Marina Tue 10-May-05 13:25:36

I have not been able to re-read Philip Pullman now that my ds is older - the Oblation Board's experiments on children and their daemons just have me weeping and weeping.
I have also found the recent news story about the poor teenager Mary Ann Leneghan absolutely unbearable now I have a dd.
I do think this is a completely normal reaction and I too look back on the supposedly kind and empathic person I was pre-children and at the thought of how clueless I really was.

Spacecadet Tue 10-May-05 14:51:48

i think its normal to feel like this, especially when you have children, you put yourself in the parents posistion and imagine how you would feel if it were your child, the jamie bulger thing horrified me and still does, my dd1 was around the same age and i tried to imagine 2 young boys doing the same thing to my helpless little toddler and i felt grief stricken if that doesnt sound daft, dunblane affected me too, i could almost hear those poor children screaming. when the holly andjessica hunt was on i couldnt beleive it when they charged ian huntley, my dd started in the sept and we had gone along to the induction eve, he had been on the door handing out leaflets, i rember, he smiled at me, afterwards i felt sick to the stomache when i found out what hed done, dd's best friends sister used to chat to him a lot and on the day of the murders she and her friend were going to call by his house, which he encouraged(they were15 at the time) but changed their minds at the last min, apparently she had nightmares for months thinking it could have been her. i torture myself over anything like that, when you have children yourself you think, it could so easily have been my child.

Dahlia Tue 10-May-05 15:17:18

Yeah, I feel the same, the things you see on the news just play on your mind for ages. I still get really choked thinking about Jamie Bulger, it really really freaked me out at the time. And not so long ago I saw a clip of a documentary called The Orphans of Nkandla or something like that - 2 siblings who had lost their parents to aids, and the little one was just sobbing while the older one tried in vain to comfort her while crying at the same time. It was the most heartbreaking thing I have ever seen, and I just went to pieces. I wanted to pick up the phone and say "I will have them, I will adopt them, I want to help them." To my dying day I will never forget them. There's just so much heartbreak in the world. And I know its a cliche, but you really don't know how lucky you are.

puddle Tue 10-May-05 15:23:37

I don't avoid the news but things do upset me far more than they would have pre-children. I found it hard to stop thinking about Beslan after it happened - it really affected me.

I don't think it's a bad thing. It means you have more empathy and humanity than you did pre-children. You care more because you identify more.

On a more trivial note I have had to give up ER. Just can't watch children dying, even in fiction.

puddle Tue 10-May-05 15:27:40

Dahlia - that was comic relief wasn't it? I was the same - one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I think I read somewhere those two children have been adopted and are now being cared for altho don't know the details.

I read something Richard Curtis wrote in the Guardian on World Poverty Day talking about those children (he had made the films for comic relief) and saying that those cases were so easy to find - you would like to think that they are so heartrending because they are rare.

Dahlia Tue 10-May-05 15:54:14

yeah puddle, comic relief - thanks for that, if they have been adopted then at least they won't be all alone.

trinityrocks Tue 10-May-05 19:44:54

I'm the same, I know how you feel, I try not to watch the news at all. When there was the tsunami and I watched a news report about a mother who had a 5 yr old an 2 yr old and she was caught in the flood and couldn't keep them all above water she had to chose which child to let go off!!!!!!!!!!!! she was on the report saying that she could only think that if she let go of the 2 yr old he would certainly die but the 5 yr old MIGHT make it!!!! I was crying my eyes out. I could feel her pain and the awfulnees of the decision. It turned out that the 5 yr old that she let go of was found alive and as well as could be expected 2 hours later hanging onto a branch. It still makes me feel awful typing it now, it makes me want to go and see that my little ones are ok and kiss them!!!!!!!!!!!!

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