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Depression and Hormones

(36 Posts)
MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 17:05:35

Hi have suffered with depression since had last DD (nearly 4 years ago). Initially PND had some AntiDepressants and then tried to get on with it.

Never felt totally ok, but last summer had Mirena Fitted and it went pear shaped from there. Have since had it taken out and been having CBT since October.

I've finally admitted how angry I am with everything, but have had horrendous week and feel like I've gone back to very start before Therapy.

Have been on period this week and can honestly say I've been on breaking point, DH actually said I should go and stay at Therapy centre to sort myself out. Problem is I've just started a new job (which I love and takes my mind of moods and depression) and the hours fit perfectly with school (it's taken me 4 years to find such a job).

Haven't been taking any medication with this bout of depression/anxiety as had a very bad reaction last September to 2 different types of Meds and it scared the hell out of me.

I'm due at CBT tomorrow (luckerly), but am wondering if anyone else has similar problem around Hormones.

I was so bad yesterday (had row with DH), who took DC's out and I thought what is the point They'd be better off if I left! It was only the thought that I'd ruin their childhood and they'd end up in therapy themselves that I took myself off to bed to try and regain some strenght.

Feel a bit better today, but DH has left me to play on computer so I can calm down.

Nabster Sun 22-Mar-09 17:15:18

I get really bad PMT and find that taking Agnus Castus helps a lot.

Note to self - it works more if you bloody take it. hmm

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 17:17:07

thanks Nabster, I read that last night, so will try and get some tomorrow.

How are you feeling (I read your post last week and felt for you).

I just feel so desparate, I want to be happy but just can't be, got to the stage where I feel quite numb.

Nabster Sun 22-Mar-09 17:27:44

Holland & Barrett sell it. It is about £7 for 200 capsules.

Feel weird to be honest, a bit like I want to give up and then just waiting until it all ends.

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 18:06:05

don't do anything silly please, know how you feel. DON'T GIVE UP! I feel pretty bad, just think of you DC and DH. Keep going.

Note to self - I must listen to own advice!

Nabster Sun 22-Mar-09 18:19:06

So should I.

I don't want to intrude on your thread but it is nice to have someone to talk too. I don't think I would ever do anything stupid but last week has really shaken me up and I would never have dreamed I would do what I did.

wotulookinat Sun 22-Mar-09 18:28:50

MrsP, which meds did you have bad reactions to? What were the reactions?

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 18:38:23

can't remeber tbh, but gave me the shakes, bad panic attacks, couldn't sleep because kept just falling off when I would have huge shudder and then would be awake, although was absolutely shattered. (which I have never suffered with before), I was then given valium to calm me which also caused a reaction.

Had something begining with Fluovtine with PND, but tbh never really had any effect.

It's getting me down more as since Feb half term (which I enjoyed by spending time with kids for first time ), I have started work, a feel like I'm getting some kind of life back. (now had 5 months of CBT 2 days a week)
This last week and half has hit me really badly.

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 18:41:02

sorry Nabster, in middle of having tea so only read last posting. You're not intruding, I think when you are feeling like we do, It's important to know you are normal and you're not on your own.

Maybe we can support each other?

My friends honestly think I'm now okm (after 5 months of CBT) and keep asking if this is last week of therapy.

Unless you've been where we are (not that I want to be), you've no concept of how hard it is. sad

wotulookinat Sun 22-Mar-09 18:41:49

I tried Fluoxetine once, which is what Prozac is, and that didn't work for me and turned me into a zombi.
I have now been on Citalopram for over a year. What you describe sound like normal side effects, which can last for four weeks. Although they can be very alarming, you have to get through them if the meds are to help.

Nabster Sun 22-Mar-09 18:43:26

I think it is very hard for someone to understand depression if you haven't suffered yourself or read up on it. My PIL really don't understand any my FIL has asked what I have to be depressed about. My DH just feels helpless that he can't make everything all right.

wotulookinat Sun 22-Mar-09 18:45:38

My DH has had serious depression, and is bi-polar, but even he finds it hard to deal with mine sometimes.
My in-laws are useless! FIL just says 'are you better now?'

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 19:03:32

my DH is really good, but yesterday I think it got too much for him and when he made a small comment re me asking him to hoover (he had the night before), his coomments back really upset me. Then he said 'what's up now?'

As if it was something new, which of course it wasn't. He then said 'they're something the matter with you'. As if I didn't know, and he didn't know! He's even been to support group to understand what I'm going through.

As for Meds, it wasn't a case of going through it (they actually made me worse than I've ever felt) and GP said they obviuosly didn't suit me.

I need to see pschy, but mmy one is always on holiday, have asked to change and am goping to be firm tomorrow (if I can) about getting appointment.

my PIL don't understand (they contributed to some of problems), however they are having DC straight from school when I'm in therapy, so they are helping a little.

Nabster my DH also feels helpless, but is trying everything - he has starting sending me a thought for the day (which is sweet and does help - it takes the edge of a difficult day).

wotulookinat Sun 22-Mar-09 19:06:19

How long have you been going to CBT? I found that it helped me a fair bit.

MrsPurple Sun 22-Mar-09 20:41:09

Started the end of October, and it has been helping, but I feel like I've had a rocky couple of weeks and probably only just got to the core of problems

wotulookinat Sun 22-Mar-09 21:09:10

I have the 'CBT for Dummies' book and find that a help when I feel like I am having a crap week.

Nabster Mon 23-Mar-09 10:54:34

I have recently bought that book but there never seems time to sit and read it.

wotulookinat Mon 23-Mar-09 11:03:03

I try to make some 'me time' each day where I sit and have a read. Sometimes it's when DS is asleep, or it's in the evening while DH walks the dogs. It makes me feel a bit more positive, like I am actually still a person in my own right.

Nabster Mon 23-Mar-09 11:32:26

I feel like I am a wife and mum and have forgotten who I am.

wotulookinat Mon 23-Mar-09 11:45:54

that's a bit part of it, I think. Even if it's 10 minutes to yourself a day, it's something.

wotulookinat Mon 23-Mar-09 11:46:10

I mean big, not bit.

MrsPurple Mon 23-Mar-09 21:03:09

Well you ladies have written exactly what therapist said I need to make so time for me! and channel my anger towards constructive things (instead of getting wound upo by suppressing it) which I have done for years as don't want DC to see it.

How you feeling Nabster?

MrsPurple Wed 05-Aug-09 22:39:35

Hi Nabster

I've not heard from you for along time? I'm now therapy free and feel like I've got some kind of life back. Still have a low point when I'm hormonal, so DH leaves me to it and lets me have me time and lots of sleep.

How are you?

Marjie3 Thu 13-Aug-09 19:28:17

Hi
I really sypmathise, like the post suggests agnus castus is brill for PMT as it prevents oestrogen dominance. I also use a natural progesterone cream called serenity. I can honestly say it has transformed my life. I had insomnia for 4 years along with anxiety and depression. I have spent alot of money trying alternative therapies and this is the only thing that has nailed it. If you google oestogen dominance, see if you think you may have it. good luck

MrsPurple Mon 17-Aug-09 22:57:16

Hi Marjie3 do you mean estogen dominance - as that's all I could find? Looks interesting like alot of my syptoms and I'd love to find out more, rather than trying to live with knowing I'll feel like this each month.

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