Shall I give in?

[Nabster]

I just want to sit and cry until there are no more tears left.

[Cranberry]

Bless you, can I help?

[Nabster]

Had a bit of a cry.

I think DH feels worried about things as I can't get myself together.

[Cranberry]

It's hard when you feel like that.#
Can you talk to him about it? Explain to him how and what you feel?

[Nabster]

It was a pathetic attempt at a weep.

I can't talk to DH as I don't really know what is wrong myself.

[Cranberry]

Why don't you start by saying how you FEEl?

[dollius]

Nab, from this and other threads you've been on recently - you sound like are having a crisis. I am really worried about you.

I know what it's like, I've been there. You can't stay there for long, trust me, it will do you in.

Please get down to your GP and get a referral for counselling. I really think your sub conscious is telling you it is time to deal with all this now. You have had such a hard time in the past, you need to find some peace for yourself.

If you can afford it, consider going to a counsellor privately so you don't have to wait. Some pastoral organisations will take what you can afford if you don't have much.

I really wish you the best

[Nabster]

I am waiting for an appointment.

I had a real telling off from a friend today and that has knocked my confidence. I know she is right in a lot of what she said but I thought she would be more understanding.

I feel worn down and have felt like this for so long I am not sure how or if I can get out of it.

I am fed up of being me and I am fed up of being unhappy.

I am also hugely and moaning again.

[Nabster]

I don't know how I feel except I feel scared.

[Cranberry]

You can turn things around but it does seem like you need some help. Are you waiting for a GP or councelling appointment?
With regard to your friend she probably thought she was helping, tough love and all that. Can you explain to her how you feel?
So sorry your feeling so down

[dollius]

Your friend is trying to help, but she's just going about it the wrong way. My sister used to do that too, and it didn't help, just made me feel worse.

Try to remember that she is just trying to do what she thinks will help you.

Glad you have an appointment lined up. Hope it doesn't take too long.

Don't worry about moaning, nobody minds about that. It means you are ready to make a change. It will be better for you when you can aim it at a counsellor who is trained to guide you in the right way. Keep posting here though - so much support available.

It is good you are fed up with being unhappy. Time to change that. It will take a lot of hard work, but you will be so glad that you did it. I think your DH sounds supportive? Try to talk to him as much as you can about all this. The more he understands, the better he can help you.

[Nabster]

Thank you.

I know what I need to do. It just feels so daunting when I have so much to deal with and haven't been able to do it before.

I would be lost without my DH and we are so looking forward to our night away. He is dropping the kids with his parents tomorrow morning and then we are setting off.

[LucyEllensmummy]

I have to say Nab that there times when i want to get you by the scruff of the neck and give you a bloody good shake! So i do understand where your friend is coming from. But i also realise that it is totally pointless giving the "pull yourself together woman" talk to someone who is depressed. It doesn't matter what people say you will always be able to put a negative spin on it? Right? Its pants - when is your appointment, is it for counselling - you really need to talk to someone, you are so up and down.

I gotta tell you - i think you should switch your computor off for a week (at least) because it sometimes nurtures the negativity - you know that if you post on here you will get lots of sympathy (and you deserve it dont get me wrong) but sometimes i think it allows the negativity to fester. Im only basing this on my own experiences. I made myself a promise at new year that i wouldnt post about serious shit on here and i don't yeah i post about petty whinges or positive decisions etc, and i DO feel better for it.

about your night away with your wonderful DH - embrace it, forget about composing mnet posts in your head (im always doing this!) and just enjoy the moment!

Life for now - the past is gone, and you can't predict the future. What you can do is make positive steps towards it, with your lovely DH. You clearly love him so much from what you have posted about him - he is the true love of your life and you know that!

If i were you, i would go back to the doctors, ask for a med review. Are you under the CMHT? I only ask because that is a way to get access to counselling much more quickly. I am in counselling, its unlimited until im ready to stop and it really is great - i have to hear a lot of things i don't want to hear, but its good for me.

You give lots of lovely advice to other postirs on here and i think you really are a warm and caring person, who has forgot to be warm and caring to herself! time to cut yourself some slack.

Have a break - have a kitkat - you are NOT a salmon! (i love that advert!).

Enjoy your weekend, i'll be thinking of you xxx

[Nabster]

Thank you

Everything you say is right.

I find it hard to let go of somethings and having to do something I never thought I would or could is also hard to do.

I am having something to eat now, then doing a big tidy up and then packing for our night away.