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Still feeling tearful 5 weeks after having DD, don't think I'm depressed...

(8 Posts)
LoveActually Wed 25-Feb-09 17:55:38

but I still feel scared and anxious and (even though I have lovely family and DP) alone?
I tend to feel like this early evening. Had c-section (emergency) and I'm trying not to dwell on things like my inability to bf. Still I feel awful sometimes, even though I'd not swap anything for the world.
How long should I give myself before I seek help. x

MitchyInge Wed 25-Feb-09 17:59:33

I think it would be good to talk to someone sooner rather than later, is your GP approachable?

MitchyInge Wed 25-Feb-09 18:01:36

Or friends/family?

uberalice Wed 25-Feb-09 18:07:09

So sorry you're feeling like that. I could have written the same words 5 weeks after having DS1. It's so hard the first time round. You don't know what you're doing, everything is new, still thinking about the birth, and it seems like everyone else has got the hang of it by now. I think what you're feeling is normal, and I'd perhaps give yourself a few more weeks to see if things pick up. I found 6 weeks to be a turning point for me, but I had a really easy baby and it might take longer for other people. Oh and btw, I wasn't able to bf the first time either, and it was very upsetting. Keep posting on here, you'll get lots of good advice and encouragement. You're doing really well.

thumbwitch Wed 25-Feb-09 18:10:03

pretty much straight away - it might just be hormonal but it could be the start of something more serious - have you spoken to your HV? Start with her, or your visiting MW or whoever; as mitchyinge says, F&F and the GP are also good people to talk to.

Don't leave it, please.

LucyEllensmummy Wed 25-Feb-09 18:15:27

please talk to someone NOW, well not now this minute, but tomorrow? HV or GP? Whoever you feel more comfortable with - no, talk to your GP. Anxiety is a classic symptom of post natal depression, you dont have to feel "depressed" i didn't but i was. The thing is, mine was missed and it festered. Honestly, nip this in the bud now - it will be much easier.

It might be that all you need to do is talk through your birth experience with someone who understands. I was traumatised by my birth but it was a "normal, no complications, natural birth" Still messed my head up though.

Your weren't able to bf - so, it didn't suit you - its fine, you are doing what is best for you and your DD. That is what matters, formula is there for that very reason and some mums choose not to BF simply because formula is actually very good for baby despite what the bf brigade say. Dont use this as another stick with which to beat yourself. I am very pro BF but hopefully sensible about it.

Take advantage of that lovely partner you have - TELL HIM how you feel. It is normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious when you have a new baby, but if it is regular like you describe i think you might need some help with it. There is no shame in asking for help, some women have this, some don't, more do than realise and suffer needlessly.

Good luck and enjoy your lovely baby xx

cherrylips Wed 25-Feb-09 19:01:09

Ask your health visitor if you can do a "first time mums" course, and also ask about baby groups that go on in your area.

I found first time mums group invaluable. Good factual content re feeding, sleeping, getting out and about, looking towards weaning later on etc. It lasted 7 weeks, and was held every Wednesday afternoon in the local health centre. It was ace also because you get to meet lots of mums in exactly the same position as you. And you get to have a good chat and the babies get to be socialised too.

At the first time mums group, we were told about other little baby groups running in the local area and lots of mums started going to these. Here the mums chatted and babies had a good play. Usually 0 - 1 year olds. Then they graduate to other groups.

I also enjoyed the parent craft and ante natal group reunions run by the NHS, gave us a chance to swap stories and phone numbers. I invited other mums and babies round to my house and then others returned the favour.

Some mother and baby groups are run by the NHS or Sure Start or voluntary organisations or churches.

Give your Health Visitor a ring tomorrow, I've met so many nice friends through going to groups. And now are kids are all great friends at school!! Gives you a chance to get out and about with your baby and have swap stoies and give each other hints tips and support.

LoveActually Fri 27-Feb-09 13:58:56

Thanks everyone. I spoke to my health visitor today, she made me take a test and I came up 'slightly' depressed. Cherrylips, she mentioned the first mums course so I'm now on the waiting list for that, thanks for mentioning it.
I have told DP, but not really sure how much more he can do. We went out for a walk this morning and I know it sounds strange but it really helped me feel a bit more 'normal' as opposed to someone who's 'sick' and waiting for CS to heal.
I'm coming to terms with the bf thing, still am seeing GP (booked in with a nice one who has been great while pg) on Monday.
I guess knowing I'm not alone helps. I've also invited some close friends (as in friends who don't mind mucking in) over this weekend. x

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