PMT has steadily beeen getting worse and worse and it has affected me like never before.
It has amplified all my existing low moods and just taken over. I have had really horrid thoughts and have felt like a truly horrible and nasty person. My son doesn't deserve me. My OH is getting fed up with me and I need him desperately now. I have no self esteem, no confidence and I think I have something wrong with me mentally. I can't think logically, My words get mixed up, I get forgetful, I seem to change my mood like the weather, one minute up and the next down. I want to be left alone, yet I need company. I'm scared no one will want me, or want to be my friends. They are thin on the ground and sometimes I feel like I will live the rest of my life in this existence. I don't think I can cope if that is the case.
I haven't been around much on here and feel like this is cry or scream of help and support. And now I said that I feel ashamed that I have to ask for it and I am a pathetic person.
Sorry to drone on, I want the old me back.
Whatever she was? I wish I could be happy now, I had a rotten life at school and feel like I deserve some happiness.
Hugs to you MM and I can relate to some of the things you are saying, esp your mmods changing like the weather. LGJ hit the nail on the head re your GP.......you shouldn't have to feel like you do. Hope you manage to find something that helps.
I can relate to what you say too. I feel up one minute and down the next. Also, I relate to what you say about deserving some happiness after different times of being miserable. I can't offer any help, but I want you to know I feel for you and hope your GP sorts you out soon. Hope to read something to that effect from you soon.
Know exactly what you mean. I'm "lucky" in that I don't really get that much in the way of bad moods with PMT, BUT know that seeing the doc on an "up" day when I had pmd was a bad idea. Try to be as honest as poss, for you dh and ds. My dh ended up comind to the docs with me coz I just couldn't explain how bad things were. You will get the old you back eventually Hugs xx
One thing that occurs to me is I had similar problems after a couple of years on progestogen only pill - periods every 10 ten days, preceded by a few days of feelings of utter hopelessness/emptiness, so wondered if you were on any sort of hormonal contraception that might be exacerbating PMT/Depression?