I'm not sure why I'm writing this but I read in a magazine yesterday that if you are feeling low then you should either talk about it or write it down and I don't have anyone to talk to.
It is quite a long story and I am not sure what I really want to say and how this is going to sound. I don't think I am depressed because I have never felt depressed before I have been stressed but as I am normally a naturally optimistic person I don't tend to feel depressed because I always see a way out and feel optimistic about the future. But I am not feeling myself at the moment so I am not really sure how I feel. I still feel optimistic but I feel really guilty that I don't feel 100% at the moment and I feel guilty that I am being so self obsessed that I am actually writing about my feelings.
I have a beautiful baby who I bonded with straight away and a very supportive husband, so I have every reason to feel happy. But my MIL is being so nasty to me lately that I don't know how to snap back to myself after her comments. My ds is 8 months old and I have only been feeling this way for about the last month. Some of the comments that she makes are so subtle that I would feel silly writing them down but when they have been made to you constantly over the last 10 years it makes you feel you are being bullied. I was always able to ignore them but now she is implying that I am a bad mother and I find that really hard to take, I think i am a good mother, my husband thinks I am a great mother but she will only ever criticise me. An example was the other day she telephoned me and asked if I was going out I had already taken ds for a long walk and said that I would not be going out again as it had started to snow (I know, snow in April!) she said to me "oh you will always find any excuse to keep that baby in I expect you will put your feet up and read a book, it is a hard life doing nothing"! As if! I know that sounds minor but I receive comments like this every day and it is dragging me down.
Last week I told dh, I felt really guilty because he was totally shocked but I felt she was driving a wedge between us. It felt a relief to tell him and I felt much stronger for doing so but now she has made some really sarky coments at the w/end and brought me back down again.
I suppose my question is (if anyone has not fallen asleep yet) is how can I ignore her and bounce back?
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Mental health
I'm not sure why I'm writing this (sorry its long)
22 replies
notmyself · 11/04/2005 09:10
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