Kids now in kindergarden - what now?

[Jeremyll33]

Hi I am a Brit stay at home Dad living in southern Germany. My son started kindergarden in January at three joining my five year old daughter already there. Last two weeks he had Pneumonia and was off two weeks basically lying on my knee for days on end the first week then he got better.

The very first day I had three hours to myself for the first time in three years it was weird. I felt so strange. Then it was easier as I got used to it.

Yesterday he started again as did my daughter and I went Nordic skiing which is wonderful here, but afternoon when they were both home I simply wanted to be alone although I love them like mad, they didnt eat the nice food I cooked for them at lunchtime - I cook twice a day sometimes and love to cook my own home grown veg. When my wife came home and found out I didnt do much with the kids she was totally angry with me.

Yesterday I was so busy then today I have done bugger all - how do I adjust to this new life? 3 and a half hours alone?

Sorry to ramble but how did you ladies (and guys) adjust to the new situation?

[PerArduaAdAmor]

Well first of all I think your DW was a bit silly to be angry that you didn't do much with them - IME kids at nursery/school at that age need the downtime - which is also why I prefer CM care for my DS after school, rather than an after-school club (if I'm not there myself).

And as the extra 3.5 hours - enjoy! Pottering is my favourite activity (MN seems to be an extension of that), whether around the house or garden. It is an adjustment, but a nice one to be able to make.

What did you do before children? Could you start again on a smaller scale? Or do as my (English) Aunt in Germany did, and start giving English conversation classes in a coffee-morning style? (Being something that gets your brain going but is still more-or-less doable if one of the kids has to be home unexpectedly.)

What do you enjoy doing?

[PerArduaAdAmor]

And loving your kids like mad but wanting to be alone is not in the slightest bit unusual - that's why we love them so much when they're asleep

[ouchitreallyhurts]

Today is the first day I've been childfree so I can empathise! its a weird feeling and I admire how honest you've been saying that you enjoyed the time alone - its what I've been thinking too!
Not sure about the others who are SAHM/D's but I also find I have a manically busy day where I fit loads in but then the next day I just want to potter and chill.

[Jeremyll33]

Thank you PerArd....stuff! (btw what does that mean?

I have loads of interests but they aren't very appropriate now. Gardening obviously has to wit a few months - I grow my family's vegetables. the paediatrician noted how seldom she had seent the kids, last weeks illness was my sons first big one in three years.

Astronomy - ob something you can only do at night. I have loads of interests - see my blog at www.theenglishgardener.blogspot.com/

The English thing sounds interesting. Will bear that in mind.

Thank you for that advice. I can't share these feelings much among other people here in Germany as being a bloke in a conservative Catholic region when I feel a bit down and say it I get "Ah now he understands!" like I am responsible for centuries of male chauvism. The culture barrier doesnt help either even though I can speak reasonable German.

[PerArduaAdAmor]

OK, I've looked at yr blog and you're not the coffee morning type! Not sure why gardening has to wait though - isn't it time to be digging through veg plots and getting the seedling nursery going (that's what I'm doing next week). My cousin trained his children from an early age to pick slugs and snails off the veg and put them in a bucket - if you don't already use your child labour properly .

Oh, and PAAA - it's a play on the NASA per ardua ad astra (through adversity to the stars) - which previously ended in nauseum but is currently amor - love - for valentine's