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Ticking time bomb ready to explode

(13 Posts)
jambo1707 Thu 31-Mar-05 20:39:25

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA


Why on earth do I feel this way, I have a perfect husband(almost), 3 gorgeous sons and I am ready to p* off out of here.

I work full time feel when i finish its a hurry to collect the boys nip home put dinner in oven colect dh from work (we only have 1 car) feed family dh baths kids and settles down for the night as i have no patience to sit with them, i clean house organise clothes for next day, have a bath cry,cry,cry,cry, want to end my life at present

I feel my kids and dh deserve much more than this, much more than i can give, I am about to explode AGAIN!!!!!!!, stupid things have me going off on one and my kids do not have to see this, this world is bad enough without them seeing their phsyco mother ranting like a looney.

Have doctors appt again tuesday for what ??? more pills

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

helsi Thu 31-Mar-05 21:01:36

oh dear jambo1707...it does sounds as though you are depressed but when you go see the doctor you must tell him that any tablets yo might be on are not working. The thing about ADs is that the first one you try doesn't always work. He may have to try you on a different one.

velcrobott Thu 31-Mar-05 21:08:53

Jambo - are you angry or depressed ?
I ask because I sometimes feel like yo but I have hormonal problems and they can get me VERY angry and unhappy - I am not depressed though...

Hugs to you

KBear Thu 31-Mar-05 21:18:28

Jambo, you sound exhausted and I don't mean that patronisingly. I work part-time but still feel very stressed trying to organise the dinners, the kids, the travel, the childcare, the packed lunches, the ironing. Take a deep breath, hug your husband and try to work out what can change. Can he help more, can you drop a few hours of the end of your work day sometimes? I find the best thing that relaxes me is jumping in the bath (sometimes with the kids!), dressing in something comfy and having a glass of wine. I often skip making a main meal in favour of eggs on toast or something quick. Hope this helps knowing someone else understands how you feel.

helsi Thu 31-Mar-05 21:21:17

contrary to what I said earlier it might not be depression depending on how thin your stress barrier is. People deal with stressful things and find things stessful on different levels and deal with it so. For example, have you ever worked with one of those people that thrive on stressful situations? Another person might not be able to cope as well in the same situation. Do I make sense or am I just rambling.

brechdanjam Thu 31-Mar-05 21:21:51

Jambo could have a point - the not having patience and ranting is something I'm familiar with, and I'm more anxious and angry with myself than depressed.
Could you bring your appointment forward if you feel like this now? Maybe you need something to relax you? Can you relax? Ask the Dr what else they can offer - counselling?

brechdanjam Thu 31-Mar-05 21:22:52

Sorry, I meant velcrobot could have a point.

ChicPea Thu 31-Mar-05 21:25:30

Sounds like everything is rush rush rush and that you are not enjoying anything let alone having time to sit down and relax and have quality time with DH and DS's. Is there anyway you can work part-time?

What about quiet time to yourself?

helsy Fri 01-Apr-05 09:39:56

Hello Jambo how are you this morning?

jambo1707 Fri 01-Apr-05 20:07:56

Thanx all for your kind replies.

I am unable to bring forward appt any as I need to see my own gp not anther as per norm at my hc.

My husband is a superstar and does do a lot around the house and the boys, i am just in a real state and want everything done yesterday or it,s another row.

I have really frightened myself now, my husband had to go to his eldery nanas to help her with something which I did not mind about, omly I was left with the boys alone and felling very anxiuos about it, dt2 would not settle (I believe they are not used to mum beig in the same room as them at night and thought he was missing dad) he cried for around 45 mins i grabbed the bouncy chair and went to hit my baby, i stopped suddenly and lost control with myself, after about 10 mins i went back into the room and held my ds and cried, cried and cried somemore, appologising for what had happened.

My other sons do fell a little cagey around me i am aware and i do tell them mummy is going to get help from the doctors, dh is at the end of his tether i believe, he is always trying to help and do his best but i am an evil bitch who rejects him all the time.

I know i have postnatal depression but refused to believe it this time and tried to brush it under the carpet it has gone out of control now.

I also suffer bad endometriosis that was made worse with the twin pregnancy and the only cure the docs have given me is a hysterectomy, as i am only 29 they are reluctant to do this op, WHY IT IS MY BODY I CANNOT GO ON LIKE THIS NOMORE!!!!!!

Will also be discussing this on tuesday

Ladies I hope i have not ranted too much, sorry if i have depressed you too

take care

helsy Sat 02-Apr-05 12:39:33

Jambo, listen - there but for the grace of God for lots of us, I suspect. Try to hold it together - can someone give you some respite for an hour or so? - and tell your doctor how you're feeling on Tuesday. Sounds like your husband has more tether than you think he has. And you're expecting far too much of yourself. It seems you've had an awful time, and you have a horrendously busy life to boot. Better that you rant here, get it off your chest if you can!

mrshighwater Mon 04-Apr-05 19:19:40

Good luck for tomorrow.

jambo1707 Tue 05-Apr-05 21:15:48

Hi all

Thanx again for all the advice, just an update to lrt you all know I went to doctors today. MY DID I LOSE IT!!!!!

I explained exactly how i was feeling and of course left with another prescription for anti depressants which this time i will continue to use not just stop.

She has also reffered me back to gynae to see about hysterectomy, this may help with the pain and make things better for me if i can get this proble sorted out.

Will keep you updated, doctor getting back to me by the end of the week about operation

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