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(25 Posts)
Titania Tue 29-Mar-05 16:32:32

Just wanted to send you all hugs and say well done {{{HUGS}}}

Depression is a life changing, gut wrenching illess that is nobodys fault. You can, and some of you have, got through it.

I am nowhere near feeling totally better, I know that, but am feeling far more positive about things now and feel somedays, even though I am still walking through a misty forest, I at least have a map!!

DH is still taking a bit of convincing about ADs and counseling but he is happy that I am trying to do something to make myself feel better. He is a star. I have my bad days like everyone, but having depression triggers something else inside that makes something slightly bad feel like its the worst thing on the planet.

My house is a bit of a mess and for once in my life I haven't opened the bottle of bleach (yet anyway!!!) But theres a stew on the go for tea and the kids are clean dressed and (reasonably) happy.....I guess thats the neccessary done!

It will be harder when the kids are in bed and DH isn't home. He will be working later now the light nights are here and today he has started working even further away.

I am still going for counselling. (next session next tuesday) Anythings better than nothing. I haven't rung the numbers that cod (thanks cod!!) gave me but they are safely written down and stored for if I do need them.

If you are suffering depression, although it may not seem like it now, you can get through this.

A while ago I was sat here with all my medication in front of me totally drunk, willing to die for the sake of my children having a better life without a miserable mummy. I am still here. Not completely healed. Some scars will never heal, but you learn to live with them. Like a big plasters been put over them.

So keep strong all of you. You can get through the mist. off to read my gorgeous (even though sometimes annoying!!) kids a story and give them a cuddle now......see ya later!!! x x x

hunkermunker Tue 29-Mar-05 16:35:48

Titania, I'm SO happy to read this post. Hugs to you, hun - may you continue on the up xxxxxx

(PS - I have a stew in too - must be stewday (terrible anagram of tewsday, which in itself is spelt wrong - what's that they say about having to explain a joke making it totally unfunny - lol!) )

Merlin Tue 29-Mar-05 16:35:52

Titania - haven't really spoken to u before, but felt had to reply to your thread. So nice to hear you being positive and upbeat. I had mild PND about 2 yrs ago, nothing as bad as what it seems you are dealing with, but I can sympathise and I just wanted to say that I think you are doing great!!! Love the misty forest and map analogy! Keep up the positive feelings - however bloody hard it feels sometimes - you can do it!

Titania Tue 29-Mar-05 17:13:58


WigWamBam Tue 29-Mar-05 17:36:08

Glad to see that you're feeling so much more positive, Titania. Stay strong. xx

fisil Tue 29-Mar-05 17:38:41

Titania, I have never really talked to you about depression, basically because I was at my worst at about the same time as you and felt worthless to offer any support.

I've wanted to start a thread like this several times in the past 2 weeks (since I started feeling better) just because it is so completely wonderful to feel like the real me again.

Like you said, I still feel down from time to time, and I am still taking it very very easy - I know it is a long haul to get back my energy levels

But as you say, it is so great to look back and wonder at how I ever wanted to end it all, or how it ever all seemed completely pointless.

And yes, I'm off to play with my gorgeous boy now and to enjoy the last few weeks of being pg!

Spacecadet Tue 29-Mar-05 17:58:46

Im glad to see you are having a more positive day, can you send some to me!!! (happy dust!!)

Cod Tue 29-Mar-05 20:38:12

Message withdrawn

Titania Thu 31-Mar-05 10:41:56

I am trying to take it easy. Did all the housework yesterday so am a bit tired today but not going to do anything strenuous so I feel better about that. No cod, no more animals for now! Am going to go do some painting with my kids now...

PiccadillyCircus Thu 31-Mar-05 10:46:17

I like seeing this thread. I am suffering from depression and starting to feel that I am going to be all right and that I will get back to normal .

MissChief Thu 31-Mar-05 10:50:46

can I hijack a moment to ask fisil a question? I too am pregnant (and ended up breaking down in front of midwife other day) - she thinks I've got ante-natal depression- acute insomnia & anxiety (tbh don't know which came first). Just wondered if you were taking anything during pregnancy or were advised against?

mummytosteven Thu 31-Mar-05 10:54:16

I took Prozac during PG (started at 30 weeks).

The decision on whether to prescribe meds or look at other treatment such as counselling tends to be on a case by case basis; as ADs are relatively modern drugs, the research isn't such to give a definitive answer that ADs are 100% safe in PG or are so dangerous they must be avoided. So docs would look at balancing risk to you/effect on your quality of live v possibility of risk to the baby. the research on SSRIs during PG that there is tends to be quite encouraging. Prozac is probably the most studied of modern ads during PG - they have done a study of kids up to I think age 7 whose mums took Prozac whilst PG, and the kids were all fine.

and you can take Prozac (and I think other SSRI meds) when breastfeeding.


mummytosteven Thu 31-Mar-05 10:54:51

oops sorry Misschief, hope you don't mind me answering instead of fisil!

MissChief Thu 31-Mar-05 10:57:12

thanks, that's reassuring & helpful. did you start for the v first time while you were pg though? I'm not keen to try it right now unless I have to (would rather have known it worked for me while not pg to make risk now worth it). However, I'm not coping at the moment so guess I should face up to it.

jangly Thu 31-Mar-05 10:58:15

Love you Titania. Glad to read this post.

mummytosteven Thu 31-Mar-05 11:00:23

no I had taken ADs previously. with modern ADs they tend to take a couple of weeks to start working and a couple of months to get up to full effect. with the older ADs they probably starting working quicker, but tend to have worse side effects - make you feel very dopey.

what sort of support is your MW/GP looking at? are they talking in terms of drugs or counselling? I think counselling does tend to be first choice for mild depression anyway these days rather than meds. you could always have a go at getting counselling, then if you weren't feeling better a month or two down the line, then see if you could try meds.

mummytosteven Thu 31-Mar-05 11:02:49

sorry T I am being terribly rude answering other people's qs on your thread rather than replying to you.

fisil Thu 31-Mar-05 11:20:30

Misschief, I had not ever taken ADs before. I started taking them at 30 weeks, and started to feel better at about 35 weeks. At last I am now able to feel pg and enjoy all the aches and pains and frustrations of being heavily pg! I feel I've really missed out on the rest of the pg because suffering from depression was the overwhelming factor in my life. So I would go for it. I rejected counselling because I couldn't bear the thought of it at this stage. My advice would be to go for it. No-one is going to give you drugs that would hurt your child.

Sorry to hi-jack, T.

Titania Thu 31-Mar-05 11:21:43

Thats ok. Dont worry

MissChief Thu 31-Mar-05 11:24:25

sorry, T, too - my fault, should have posted new thread. Really glad to hear you're feeling better though. Many thanks to M2S & Fisil too, I'll go back to GP - not v helpful though, mw was first person to pick up on this.

fisil Thu 31-Mar-05 11:27:46

MissChief, have you checked yourself against the checklist of symptoms of depression? If you type ante natal depression into google you don't get many hits, but amongst the few are some excellent sites with checklists. I found it useful as some of the questions the GP will ask are fairly shocking and my instinct would be to say "oh no, no, no." But because I'd read through the list and thought about it before I went, I knew that I was suffering from everything on the list (except the appetite one) and I was able to overcome my polite middle class upbringing and be honest.

helsi Thu 31-Mar-05 11:28:31

I feel more positive too on my ADs - Fluoxotine mine are called and have been taking them since June 2004. I feel much better and am coming round to my old self now who I don't think has been around for about 10 years. Still have my moments of anxiety and low points but they don't last as long anymore and I don't think the same thoughts IFKWIM as much.

Titania Mon 04-Apr-05 08:24:04

Hello!! How are you all today? Im on a bit of a downer again but am sure thats due to another night of sleep deprivation. DS2 was snotty and grotty til 3am again and then dd wet the bed so i had that to deal with. I am exhausted. DH is going to the doctors later thank goodness. His sciatica is really playing up now. I had such a battle to convince him to go. But this morning he can barely walk so says it all really. I'm not sure how I am going to get through today, but am clinging onto the thought that DH will be home about 4pm.... Hope you are all ok today.

Dior Mon 04-Apr-05 20:47:14

Message withdrawn

bubba78 Tue 05-Apr-05 19:08:26

dear new to mumsnet and have been avidly reading loads of messages and I'm overwhelmed at the support everyone gives each other, its rather lovely. I think you're all really brave to share you're feelings. Having spent the last 5-6yrs suffering with bouts of depression/PND I was terrified at the thought of getting it after my second child. The dr mentioned the option of HRT patches at around 30/35 weeks of pg. Not sure if anyone else has come across this and whether its of any help? Am now on Cipramil (it did rear its ugly head when baby was around 10/11 months). I get good and bad days too, but there's gaps in between them now rather than it being a constant river of treacle. Also have 1 and a half stone to loose, but when you're having a bad day, it's sometimes impossible to summonds the energy to stay on track with a diet. Don't try and tackle too much. I think its a massive achievement to have got out of bed and got dressed!! well done you...x

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