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feeling really low

(47 Posts)
feelingdown Thu 24-Mar-05 14:38:06

just a rant i suppose but feels better getting it off my chest, changed my name as freinds know my mumsnet name, not a troll i promise!
well 1st im sitting here crying ive just come home from work early as i dont think i can take it muh more! last night had row whith dh who stormed out on me and slept out all night, all cos i asked for a kiss good night, yeah exactly seems to much to ask dont it? been feeling bit down with him recently just feel like he just doesnt give a F*ing shit about me he came in p*ed saterday night waking me and my 4 year old niece shoutring the odds how much he hates his lifestyle with me.. ( personally i think he gets it good.. tea on table for him finishing work , bath run, bait put up for work, washing ironing cleaning.... ect ect!) in the morning of course he coulnd remember .... no sorry nothing when i told him.. the constant rejection is getting me down he hasnt told me he loves my since january i just cant take any more! last night i asked him if he still wanted to be with me and before he stormed out he balled at me why dont you put 2 and 2 together, yet today by text ( which i cant find it in myself to reply) he's acting as if nothing has happened was on anti depressants just over a year ago when i had my 2nd m/c and feel like hes wearing me down that i want to go back on them just to cope!

my works suffering from the way im feeling ive just moved departments and feel like i have no friends, they are the mmost ignorant bunch of people i have ever met so that getting me down..

sorry for the rant im just sitting here crying this probs doest even make sence, i should be home now with dh but i cant bring myself to go back, i wish i could be strong i just feel helpless and dont like the thoughts that are running mad round my head!
thanks if youve read this far x

colditzmum Thu 24-Mar-05 14:41:24

your dh is treating you like crap. Stop doing things for him, and if he doesn't leave it will make him appreciate you even more. Seriously, I did this with my other half, I didn't do his washing, I didn't cook for him, I didn't make him feel at home by doing wifely things cos at the time he didn't bloody deserve it! And at the moment neither does your dh!

feelingdown Thu 24-Mar-05 14:47:29

i know im so sick of my life at the minute,money is another issue he gets so much more money than me im on an ok wage yet after i pay my way get shopping ect i have nothing but his spare cash is his he can go out he can buy clothes i'm left with nothing! tried for joing bank account or a fairer way of sorting our money out but ebds up always in a huge argument, im not even on the morgage of our house my letters still go to my parents im sick of feeling like im being walked all over. i need my own little llife where i dont rely on him, how do you do that when your your buds are in there happy little lives i wanna be in my happy litlle life too!

colditzmum Thu 24-Mar-05 14:55:34

I would leave him to be honest. I don't think you are particularly depressed, but it sounds like you live an unlivable life, IYSWIM. You will probably be better off without him. He's treating you like crap!!!!!

feelingdown Thu 24-Mar-05 15:01:34

thanks i know your right its just so bloody hard, i mean it is important to tell someone you love them aint it.... january is a long time past? actually tell a lie, when he went to work the other moring he said it in my ear i was asleep and only just about heard it! he says its just me being neorotic? do you tell your dh /dp you love him vice versa?or am i living in a dream world

feelingdown Thu 24-Mar-05 15:14:35

just took a hand full of kalms and feling a little foolsih for doing so, so now i'm going for a lie down would just be finishing work now, going to let the F**er wonder where i am! speak soon thanks for your reply colditzmum

WigWamBam Thu 24-Mar-05 16:57:55

Showing that you love someone is more important than saying it, but your dh doesn't seem to do anything to show that he loves you. He is treating you like a doormat, but he can only do it while you let him. I agree that you should stop doing everything for him; he's a big boy now and can run his own bath and get his own things ready for work.

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 08:30:16

well ive done it ive finally done it ive left, found out yesterday hes remorgaged the house to pay off his debts this was in november i only found out last night, so im struggling paying what ive got to pay and hes living the life of riley with all his money, is this devious or am i over reacting?

mummytosteven Thu 07-Apr-05 08:35:57

completely devious and selfish. go and see a solicitor asap who does a free initial interview/legal Aid or the CAB to get some advice on you/your children's rights. pull a sickie at work if you have to - this is more important.

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 08:43:14

im not on the morgage he wouldnt let me, not even supposed to live there! will you lot please help me through this please im so down! the house was a shot hold when he bought it and ive put all my love money and thought into doing it up ive made him the profit and im going to get nothing back, so so so down

mummytosteven Thu 07-Apr-05 08:45:29

yes course we will help. please tho go and see a solicitor - it might not be as bad as you think - as you were married to him you shouldn't be left high and dry. and you are better off without this selfish money grabbing guy.

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 08:53:00

i said dh so people wouldnt guess me, i was engaged to him not married, leaves me in a different possition doesnt it?

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 08:53:18

i said dh so people wouldnt guess me, i was engaged to him not married, leaves me in a different possition doesnt it?

mummytosteven Thu 07-Apr-05 08:54:17

ah

still worth seeing a solicitor anyway IMHO, but doesn't really help your position not being married unfortunately

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 09:00:32

yeah i know, looks like im going to have to walk away with nothing!
am i being unreasonable being pissed off that hes remorgaged the house if im not on the morgage, but i pay my half? just seems so unfair hes got money to pay with ie lads holiday lads night out gym membership..... ect ect and im on the bones of my arse! and he wants me to pay more cos the morgage has went up ( due to his scheeming!) and he told me it was cos of inflation rates??????????

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 09:13:29

also how bad is this, when agruing lat night every time i tried to speak he was just saying 'not listening not listening!' and telling me every time i argue with him he puts a year on us getting married or having kids its like hes bullying me

munz Thu 07-Apr-05 09:27:33

what happened to the 6 month rule if u lived with someone u were enititled to half? is that still right? I don't know see CAB (((hugs))) to you thou, hope u sort it all out soon thou.

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 09:37:22

thanks im scared of the thoughts im having! dont think the 6 month rule aplies anymore! been living there for 2 years and ive made the house what it is!

feelingdown Thu 07-Apr-05 09:37:24

thanks im scared of the thoughts im having! dont think the 6 month rule aplies anymore! been living there for 2 years and ive made the house what it is!

munz Fri 08-Apr-05 13:26:35

Been thinking about u today, and honestly if it was me, i'd take everything i'd paid for and leave him with the empty shell if need be, but I certainly wouldn't put up with what u have been. then learn from it.

jangly Fri 08-Apr-05 13:36:45

Its very important to see a solicitor. You will get legal aid if you are on a low income so won't have to pay anything. There probably is a way you can get your share back. If it was a "ring on finger" engagement, that might help.

feelingold Fri 08-Apr-05 18:22:21

A friend of mine lived with her partner for 3 years in 'his' house (only his name on mortgage), but because she had contributed to the household bills she got some money out of it and they didn't have any kids.
You must go to a solicitor though, when my marriage broke up my ex was telling me what he was going to let me have and not have and boy was he surprised when I went to a solicitor and found out what I was actually entitled to.
Get as much info as possible then make up your mind from it what you want to do. Good luck.

feelingdown Mon 11-Apr-05 14:10:59

going to speak to him at the end of week to sort money issues out, havent heard from him at all since wednesday, im so sick so confused im mad that he remorgage out house and think id have no say in the matter! my friend it a trained barrister ( not practicing at the moment) but she seems to think its fraud what hes done, why the hell do i still love him!

feelingdown Mon 11-Apr-05 14:23:12

also feel shit on my parents they ahevnt had a bed in my room since i mooved out theyve been rallying around trying to get me a bed, wardrobes etc? all my clothes are still in the house got no key to get anything out! lived in same clothes since wed ( darling mams been washing and ironing frantically 4 me) bless her, got to say thou my mam and dad are truely wonderful

feelingdown Mon 11-Apr-05 17:47:42

just text him to see if we can talk and hes text back that he needs time to think about the way ive went on............ so mad
what ive done for fuck sake youve remorgaged our flats whats he doing to me? whys he making me feel so weak?

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