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Please help me

(123 Posts)
whatsername Sun 20-Mar-05 20:34:28

I didn't want to do this. I wasn't going to post here, but I don't know what else to do. I should change my name but you will all know who I am anyway.

I can't go on. I have finally reached the point of no return and I just can't carry on any more. I have just cut my wrists - superficially but the vein was just there and it would have been so easy. At least then someone could help me. I've cut myself for years, but never told anyone. It's never been for attention but now I know I need help and I don't know where to turn.

I can't just keep getting up in the morning and pretending everything is alright. I don't want to be here anymore but I don't want to leave my kids. I don't know how to carry on. The idea of having to face tomorrow is too much.

I know you're all going to tell me to go to the dr but I can't. I don't want to go on ad's. I spent most of my adolsecence on them and I don't want to go back. I don't want medication, I don't even take pills for a headache, I don't want to put chemicals in my body. And I don't want counselling, I can't sit and talk to a stranger. I can't do this. I just don't know what to do any more. I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I want to go to sleep and never wake up.

MadameButterfly Sun 20-Mar-05 20:36:53

Sorry I have no advice, but I did not want you to think that you were being ignored.

I am sure someone will be on soon that will be of more help than me.

HUNKERMUNKER Sun 20-Mar-05 20:37:26

Oh hun, no. Put whatever it was that you cut yourself far far away from you, get yourself a drink of water and stay by the PC. You'll get good advice from other MNetters - I'm at work at the moment and I can't stay much longer, but I'll be online at home by about 9.30. Till then, hugs, don't hurt yourself and more and you're worth a great deal - remember that. It WILL get better, you have MN to help you and if I'm anywhere near you, I'll help you in person.

Lots and lots of love xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

chicca Sun 20-Mar-05 20:39:40

The great thing about Mumsnet is that we are all here to support you in the best way we can. I have not met you before but please know that I am thinking of you and hope you can find a way through this.

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 20:40:00

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LIZS Sun 20-Mar-05 20:40:00

Could you call or email the Samaritans ?

nikcola Sun 20-Mar-05 20:40:06

oh no, im so sorry u are feeling like this are ur wrists bad do you need to go to the hospital

nikcola Sun 20-Mar-05 20:42:17

samaritans 08457 90 90 90

romantick Sun 20-Mar-05 20:42:46

do think you should phone up doctor.or even nhs direct.dont worry about talking to a stranger as that stranger is there for you.what about family anyone you can talk to,who can come round to see you etc.counselling is not one session but can be many .this can also create a relationship between councillor and you so in the long run it is not like seeing a councillor but a friend instead

whatsername Sun 20-Mar-05 20:43:07

No, my wrists aren't bad enough to need treatment, I just need to get help. Now. I have been putting this off for weeks and I just can't any more.

I don't know what help I want I just can't cope anymore.

Dior Sun 20-Mar-05 20:43:37

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whatsername Sun 20-Mar-05 20:45:11

No, I'm on my own, the kids are asleep.

Beetroot Sun 20-Mar-05 20:45:26

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SenoraPostrophe Sun 20-Mar-05 20:45:32

Whatsername - I won't pretend to understand what you're going through because I don't. I do understand why you don't want to take ADs though, but on the other hand, you would take antibiotics if you had pneumonia wouldn't you? You are clearly depressed and it sounds like you need to get help from somewhere. Counselling may not be as bad as you think...?

Blossomhill Sun 20-Mar-05 20:45:36

You really, really need to seek urgent medical help. There are people out there who can really help you.

Dior Sun 20-Mar-05 20:47:41

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rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 20:48:21

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romantick Sun 20-Mar-05 20:49:21

you recognise that you have a problem and know you must do something about make that first step and call the dr.lets get you smiling again and enjoy everyday with your children

whatsername Sun 20-Mar-05 20:50:56

I'm single, I won't do anything to hurt my children, I couldn't. I was just sat wondering whether I coul put a pillow over their faces. I couldn't leave them behind. I won't though, but I thought it. I don't know what to do. I just can't do this anymore. What if they they take my kids away?

rickman Sun 20-Mar-05 20:52:05

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whatsername Sun 20-Mar-05 20:52:21

I want a break, I want to walk away but what good would that do? It will all still be there when I get back to it. I have nothing without my kids, they are everything and look what I'm doing to them.

WigWamBam Sun 20-Mar-05 20:52:27

If you want to feel better, you have to get help. There are other things to try apart from medication, you don't have to carry on feeling like this. If you want to wake up one morning and not feel the way you have been feeling then you must see the GP. I know you said that you don't want to, and that you don't want medication, but this will not go away on its own. You may not want to put chemicals into your body, but depression is a chemical imbalance, so you may need to put those chemicals back into your body until you feel better. It might only have to be for a short while, you won't know until you go for help.

You say that you can't sit and talk to a stranger but you're talking to us, and that's a start. The difference is, we aren't professionals, and don't know the right things to ask or say to make things better. Please get help, this won't get better on its own.

romantick Sun 20-Mar-05 20:53:11

no one is going to take your kids away from you.
with help you will find things will be much better allround.
if you want to chat more you can email me on messenger.
but do think you should give your dr a call or even nhs direct

KBear Sun 20-Mar-05 20:53:36

talk to us, it might help to share your problems, we're all friends here and people do care.

Dior Sun 20-Mar-05 20:55:03

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