Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Am regretting new house...

(37 Posts)
sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 21:55:51

I feel terrible. We've got a new home (lucky, should be over the moon with joy) but when I went to see it again today (the signing was yesterday), I wondered if we hadn't made a mistake. Too late now but feeling v. anxious. Any advice?

Evesmama Wed 16-Mar-05 22:00:56

why did you get the bad feeling?could it just be anxiety about the upheavel?

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:06:19

This happened to me when we moved here. I felt really low for a couple of months. Then I started to get to know people, made the house our home and now I love it - in fact I'm incredibly happy. I now believe it was all the stress of moving - it took 18 mo all told - that made me so down.

At the end of the day, a home is what the people who live in it make it.

jampots Wed 16-Mar-05 22:08:29

i felt the same when we moved into our house 10 years ago. We spent 14 months and several thousand pounds on it before we moved in and when we did i was just downright depressed (was also pregnant to be honest)

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:11:48

I don't know, Evesmama. The new place is much bigger with tons of room for dd & ds for playing and now we can have friends & family to stay. It's also quite modern but boxy, IYSWIM. I love where we live now... it's a ground-floor flat in a very old and large farmhouse. It has an enormous garden, which is wonderful in the summer. It was the perfect home when dh & I were first married but now that we are 4, there's just not enough room. Then I was told by the mummy of one of dd's friends that the former owner (who she knows well) has a mental health problem. My friend's sister visited the house & had to leave immediately because it made her feel very unhappy. This doesn't help me at all! I asked dh this evening if we should have the house blessed & he said that was basically superstitious nonsense. He's probably right but...

jane313 Wed 16-Mar-05 22:13:16

How rude of your friends sister.

nutcracker Wed 16-Mar-05 22:14:17

I fe that when we moved here too, even after all the waiting and fighting to get it, it just felt wrong for a while.

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:14:21

Yes, it was rude. I can't imagine doing something like that.

Evesmama Wed 16-Mar-05 22:14:45

if it makes you feel better do it if only to put your mind at rest..thats not so daft is it

Tommy Wed 16-Mar-05 22:15:57

ionesmum is right - you have to make your house your home - and you will! Moving is so stressful - I felt the same when we moved here. It had all been so stresful before (buyers dropping out etc), we were arguing all the time and I just kept thinking that everything would be better once we were in the new house.....and it wasn't! Not straight away anyway - it takes time.
Hang in there

zippy539 Wed 16-Mar-05 22:15:59

I'd have it blessed (even on the sly from dh ) if it makes you feel better. I'm not particularly religious or anything, I just think you should do whatever you have to in order to make yourself feel positive about the move.

jane313 Wed 16-Mar-05 22:16:14

I think it takes a while for a house to be a home. You have to see your things in it and your children happy there first.

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:16:43

Dh isn't that enthusiastic either but he's an Eeyore... always has been, always will be. I loved it at first but now can't imagine living there. Feel trapped. Guess I am now.

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:19:10

I'd go with the house blessing too, not so much to 'get rid' of anything as to welcome you into your new home. And agree that your friends' sister was very rude. And so what if a previous owner had mental health problems? You live there now.

Evesmama Wed 16-Mar-05 22:19:54

no your not, dont quote me but if you really really dont want to move you can backout(although im sure you will have to pay some costs?), but its better than spending tens of thousands isnt it?, i think youll be fine, i hate it where we are , but love my house but its took me a year and painting the bathroom to say that!

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:23:33

You loved it at first. You will again. First reactions are nearly always the best guide.

BTW you don't have to get a priest in to bless your home, you can do it yourself. Just go from room to room, asking God to bless the people who use it and whatever happens there. So for example ask a blessing for food for the kitchen, restful sleep for a little one in their bedroom, for you and dh's relationship in your bedroom, and family harmony in the living room etc...

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:26:27

Yes but , I have mental health problems too. Depression, whereas the previous owner has some kind of need for everything to be perfectly clean & ordered. The entire house was furnished in white & cream, which sounds nice but actually seemed very cold. I thought they'd arranged it to look neutral for sales purposes but apparently it always looked like that. No pictures on the walls but there was a whiteboard in the kitchen with their 14 month old dd's schedule written out on it: "8:00 am, dd wakes up. 8:10 am, dd has breakfast, 8:45 am, dd pulls on left sock, etc." I exaggerate a little, but it was v. weird.

jane313 Wed 16-Mar-05 22:28:20

surely that would be the best mental health problem to have when buying a house from someone!

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:29:57

that's a good idea, ionesmum. I would enjoy doing that! You are all so helpful & positive & brimming with good sense that I feel much better. Thank you all so much. MN to the rescue!

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:33:39

So it was weird. The bloke who lived here before us had bisexual orgies in the garden.

I'm really sorry to hear that you have depression, I had pnd so do understand a bit. So that must make it all harder. But it will come together, it just takes time. Hang on in there. I'd start with some nice warm paint on the walls!

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:35:31

sorry, our posts crossed! Glad that the blessing idea is helpful, I love doing it with our dds, and you can do it as often as you like!

sansouci Wed 16-Mar-05 22:43:53

I haven't been depressed for several years now thanks to ADs & therapy but have been diagnosed with "chronic depression" since the illness began when I was about 9.

hub2dee Wed 16-Mar-05 22:46:22

How about burning sage ? DW does that occasionally. I find it stinks but she insists it 'cleanses' the space.... Hmmm....

Also, maybe just ventilating it by throwing all the windows open for a few hours, or some kind of scented candle / air fresheners ?

I'm sure your family will bring new energy and chaos to the empty place !

ionesmum Wed 16-Mar-05 22:48:20

sansouci . I'm glad. Enjoy your new home, I'm sure it will be perfect!

Evesmama Wed 16-Mar-05 22:48:56

and dream catchers over the windows

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now