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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

sleep deprivation really getting to me

26 replies

dannii · 14/03/2005 20:28

has anyone please got any tips for a 3 and a half month old baby that still does not want to sleep?? please help i am desperate

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kama · 14/03/2005 20:31

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kama · 14/03/2005 20:32

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biglips · 14/03/2005 20:33

dannii - you mean that baba does not want to sleep at all !! or in the day or night?

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vict17 · 14/03/2005 20:33

Does your little one sleep in the day? Going out in the car or with the buggy works wonders. Have you got any help at all?

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hermykne · 14/03/2005 20:35

dannii
as kama asked whats the daytime like? and how does she/he nap?
starting the day at 7/7.30 is really the best idea and in long run you'll see the benefitd.
getting them to sleep longer takestime so be prepared for it to be a week or 10days, and its routine routine routine IMHO

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 20:35

Poor you, it is horrible and makes everything awful I know. Sleep when the baby sleeps if you can and absolutely sod the housework or anything else you may be tempted to do - do that when they're awake! And it will end, eventually and you will feel human again. Poor you, I do know the feeling.

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dannii · 14/03/2005 20:36

my baby is extremely hungry he was born 9 pound 1 and at the moment gets through 7 x 6oz bottles of formula in a twenty four hour period, he also has a portion of baby rice every day, he doesnt nap during the day for more than 1/2 hour at a time and at night still gets up 2 - 3 times, i cant sleep durign the day because just as i am getting to sleep he wakes up HELP!!

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aloha · 14/03/2005 20:38

What happens when he wakes up? Do you go to him straightaway or does he cry?

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 20:38

Can you try giving him bigger bottles at each time?

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hermykne · 14/03/2005 20:38

danni

what time do you start the day, my ds was 11lb2 and hungry and breast feed but i got him to nap for 1 1/2 hrs in the day with a routine?

tell us how a day goes for you, when do get up, fed and put him down for a nap?

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dannii · 14/03/2005 20:43

my day starts at around half six to seven - i get the baby up and feed him, we then take my other son to school in the car when he does have a nap but as soon as we get home he is awake, i have tried to keep him awake for long periods of time so that i can get him to sleep longer during the day but he just grizzles and falls asleep anyway, i have tried to give him more formula but he cant take it, any way he will then cat nap during the day untill about eight oclock which is when i put him down for the night, he is then awake at approx 12 3 and 6, he still only feeds once in the night but when he wakes at the other times he will not settle himself back down. by the way this is the first time i have ever been on this site and it is wonderfull all the advice and help you are giving me thanx

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kama · 14/03/2005 20:45

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 20:45

He is still quite young to sleep through I suppose, maybe it'll get better when he's bigger and eating? Welcome to mumsnet!

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helsi · 14/03/2005 20:48

If you are BF, could you express a bottle so that dp/dh (if there is one) can feed and let you sleep?
3.5m is young to expecta lot of sleep (I know that is not what you want to hear), but the good news is that the amount babies sleep varies a lot and even very wakeful babies usually become more predictable as time goes by. You sound tired yurself which makes things worse. The thing to remember is that broken slepp doesn't help and you are bound to feel tired. Try sleeping when your babay does and aim to get to bed by mid-evening if you can.
Try and avoid letting you babay sleep with you - once done it is a habit very hard to break.

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dannii · 14/03/2005 20:50

do you think water would work? i feel guilty about depriving him of food, he also sleeps in the same room as me do you think it a good idea to move him into his brothers room? some people have said to me to do that but i worry that it will disturb his brother

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dannii · 14/03/2005 20:51

i am not breatfeeding but my partner helps as much as he can but he works from 6am to 4pm so he is tired himself and i know he needs sleep as his job is very physical

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 20:52

tbh, at 3.5 mos I would feed him in the night, he's still so tiny. Can you get someone to help or do a couple of nights for you though? It would make you feel better briefly anyway.

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 20:53

Danni, YOU need sleep too! Sleep deprivation is recognised as a form of torture, get him to help. It's NOT fair otherwise.

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dannii · 14/03/2005 20:56

i know but i guess i feel guilty as he is a refuse collector and he walks god knows how many miles a day and is allways using his upper body to throw bags in the truck, just thinking about what he does makes me feel tired. also i have just got a date to go back to work full time, 23rd may and i am panicking that he wont be sleeping through i dont know how i am going to cope if he isnt. i am finding this so hard my first son was sleeping though by three months and this time round is so different

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helsi · 14/03/2005 20:57

even though dh is at work he should really still get up during the night too.

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dannii · 14/03/2005 21:00

it has been lovely talking to all of you and without meaning to be rude i am going to sign off now and go to bed!! thank you all for your advice it has been great, same time tomorrow night!!

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laneydaye · 14/03/2005 21:02

hi dannii (big hug for you)
Im in the same boat as you at the moment so cant really advise...still feeding mydd every2-3 hrs through the night and she dosent sleep much in the day either by the way shes 4.2mth

Keep posting on here cos the advice and support is great....

a great morale booster...xxx

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WideWebWitch · 14/03/2005 21:04

Yes, go to bed danni. My son slept from 6 weeks and my daughter's still not great at 15 mos so I know the feeling. I agree with helsi about your dp doing his share, don't feel guilty!

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Harrizeb · 14/03/2005 23:22

Every baby and everybody has different amounts of sleep that they need, and as he really isn't sure yet what he wants and needs it's hard for you to guess what he wants. Something I read that really surpised me was that babys need a lot of sleep to sleep well. So if they are sleep deprived they can't sleep properly when they do get to sleep (not that I am suggesting for one second your Little one is) just it might be worth baring in mind. I agree with the routine stuff, we were able to get my DS in a night time routine but the day times were crap as they were demolishing the house next to us and he's always done better at night than during the day for when to go to sleep - and it helped me feel more in control of a mad situation.

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dot1 · 15/03/2005 09:31

Hi,
HUGE amounts of sympathy and empathy - I also had a v. big, hungry baby who screamed his way through his first 14 weeks of life. I'd suggest:

giving him more per bottle - at about 3 months he was sometimes having 12 - 14 oz of formula per feed - especially in the early evening. Or 9oz + a breast feed - just keep giving him milk until he's absolutely full up to the top!

We also started him on solids - I know, v. controversial as it was early, but we honestly didn't know what else to do... I found baby rice didn't do the trick - how about trying other foods - carrot/pear etc. + baby rice to thicken? It was starting to give him decent amounts of food that turned him from screaming miserable baby to v. happy baby indeed!

And definitely get your other half to do the odd night feed. My dp used to do the first feed after we'd gone to bed - at whatever time that was. We had an agreement that as soon as ds2 started sleeping until past 2am, I'd do it instead, as it would probably be the only time he'd wake, but for weeks I'd feed him at about 10pm, put him down and I'd go to sleep. Dp would then get up next - anywhere between 12- 2am and bottle feed, and then I'd do the rest. At least that way I got a chunk of sleep.

Good luck - and I know it doesn't help but honestly it won't last and he will start sleeping better...