I have NO idea where to put this.Dreams and meanings. Having nightmares.

[RagingHormone]

3 nights ago I dreamt a man of ridiculous super strenght invited himself to a family bbq and I was too scared to say no and then he killed my dad. I was crying in the dream and in real life.

The night before last I dreamt I was in some sort of end of world metal maze and I was trying to save people from something bad. I turned on lights and kept hearing crunches each time i turned one on. Turned out everytime I turned a light on it chopped into a horse and my sister and killed them. I was distraught in the dream and distraught when I woke up.

Last night I dreamt my baby son who is my world along with my DP died and I had to go to Cyprus (where we're getting married) on my own to bury him in a cypriot cemetary so that he would be near to us at our wedding and he would be happy and lay in rest and I was stood on a top of a hill looking across and the graves were all covered in white roses (my favourite flowers) and I had to bury him myself and lay whote roses down. It was horrific, frightening and devastating for a dream.

I'm waking up so upset. I'm very family orientated and love them to bits and can't stand the thought of anything happening to them. I've never dreamt about death before.

My nana has recently died and I wonder if that is in some way linked?

I'll put this here and in spiritual.

[walkinthewoods]

Is there soemthing in your lefe that you don't feel in control of? That seems the be a theme (not being in control and not being able to protect) It may well be a reaction to your Nana dying (especially if you are very family orietated) It will make you realise that you feel vulnerable.

Death dreams can alos signify the changes in your life (the end of an era in your life and the start of a new one). I see you are getting married, it may well be your brain just working through the implications (even though you want to get5 married, it still signifies the end of one part of your life). Are there any other changes in your family?

[NotQuiteCockney]

You're feeling things are part of your fault - that you're doing something wrong and Bad Things will happen (in two of the three dreams, the deaths were your fault). Anxieties about getting married, mixed with your gran's death.

How long ago did you nana die? Was it sudden, or slow? Can you talk about your feelings about her death with anyone?

How soon are you getting married? Are you talking to anyone about your anxieties about that?

[RagingHormone]

I'm getting married in 8 months and I'm really excited about it but on the other hand I do feel like things arn't getting sorted and I'm upset that my sister has had to cancel coming (it's abroad) but I don't blame her.

I've had a rough year family wise, big fall outs with my close family but we're getting back on track now. Sister has a controlling DP so I don't get to see her much and I miss her and her kids so maybe that's in there somewhere, too.

I used to be so stupid and let me treat me like crap. I let a couple have dirty pictures which got out and I was very young and naive. I was also seeing someone who had a g/f for a long time and seemed to be completely controlled by him. Since I've settled down with DP who is amazing, I'm very happy and I cut off that part of my life all together straight away and I'm an adult now but it's 1 of the two things in my life I feel very guilty about and it makes me feel panicky and upset to think about it.

The other thing I feel guilty about is that I didn't go to see my nana much in hospital when she was dying in July as I'd just had my baby and she was in ICU where there's lots of bad bugs and I didn't want to pass the baby anything. I also couldn't take the baby to see her in there and she was desperate to see him.

Nana was in hospital a while but when she died it was a massive blow to me and I was there. I'd never seen anyone die before and she didn't know I'd made the effort to go and see her as it was too late and she wasn't really there anymore. I also went to see her in her coffin and it didn't look anything like her so I can't relate that person to my nana.

I worry about my DS constantly as he nearly died after he was born and I'm terrified of ever losing him.

I think that's basically all my anxieties of the moment. I also have money and childcare worries.

I don't really want to talk about any of this stuff out loud so can anyone here analyse all that for me and try and put things into perspective? I just can't take a step back from it all.

[NotQuiteCockney]

You have a lot on your plate. You're beating yourself up about things. (Interesting slip: "let me treat me like crap".) Talking about it in person would do you a lot of good, and help sort it out. Is counselling an option, at all?

[RagingHormone]

I have been referred for counselling but I work weekdays so I haven't been able to go. I think it would help a lot though.