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am i normal????

(12 Posts)
brandnew Thu 10-Mar-05 13:36:28

please can anyone tell me if my feelings are normal... i am a first time mum to a 4 month old and am so worried about everything...i dont feel depressed in any way so dont think its post natal depression but am completley obsessed with cot death- i have a breathing monitor which eases my worries slightly but i feel like i cant enjoy her first year because i just want her to turn one so theres no risk-i cant even read about it anywhere i feel like its cracking me up sometimes checking her breathing every 2 mins- is everyone like this or do i need proffesional help!!!

BubblesDeVere Thu 10-Mar-05 13:39:38

yes yes yes, your feelings are perfectly normal. I haven't got any advice but want you to know it is normal, I was like this with dd1 and dd2, i was near hysterical with dd2 on a couple of times when she was ill and full of cold i didn't want to leave her for a second.


Spongebob Thu 10-Mar-05 13:39:40

I think your normal! Im was also paranoid about cot death. I think as time goes on youl'e relax more and try and tell yourself that everything will be fine. Just care for your baby the best you can and try not to let your fears get the better of you.

mummytosteven Thu 10-Mar-05 13:41:48

some worrying is normal, but not if you feel it's taking over your life. having said that I think it's very normal for reading things about illness/death in children to really, really hit you hard once you are mum. It might be worth having a chat with your HV/GP (whichever is most sympathetic) about it.

brandnew Thu 10-Mar-05 14:27:09

thank you all so much, its nice to know im not alone in worrying

lunarx Fri 11-Mar-05 16:37:23

its definitely normal. i was very worried in the beginning too. but i did not let it effect my early months of bonding with ds. i agree with mummytosteven and maybe speak with your HV who may be able to ease and calm some of your fears
good luck..

emmatom Fri 11-Mar-05 23:25:05

No- one tells us how much we will worry over our kids before we have them do we. Your worry is perfectly 'normal'. This is our maternal instincts just going into overdrive, what with all the other hormonal stuff going on shortly after becoming a mum. As I was holding my newborn, I would cry with worry about him having to walk up the road to school and being knocked over by a car on the dark mornings. Totally irrational worrying, but lots of us have it, you do however learn to realise how irrational it really is and come to a point where you can put it into a bit more perspective. That newborn is now 8 and sometimes, if I've seen a sad thing on telly, I go into overdrive worrying about him being beaten up and getting drunks in nightclubs!!!! See, totally normal!

Caribbeanqueen Fri 11-Mar-05 23:41:19

Yes, you are norma, I was paranoid too. When dd learned to roll onto her side, I used to make dp go and roll her back onto her back all the time. Dd got really fed up of it! So did dp.

I'd probably be the same if I had another one.

nightowl Sat 12-Mar-05 00:17:48

things i worried about:

before 4 months: miscarriage.
before 5 months: something wrong with scan.
approaching 33 weeks: prematurity (as my first child).
approaching 39 weeks: something wrong as the fathers last child.
up to six months: cot death.
now: asthma.

normal!! i think!!

adrift Sat 12-Mar-05 12:26:58

brandnew, my take (from personal experience) is that if your anxieties are starting to in any way drown out your enjoyment of your baby -- if you feel they are really affecting your state of mind, and you feel crushed by them -- then no, it's not 'normal': but it's very, very common, and there are ways of turning the situation around. Do mention your anxieties to someone. Just talking stuff over with an authority figure like HV/GP can help.

zippy539 Sat 12-Mar-05 12:58:42

Hi brandnew - as everyone has said, worrying seems to be part of the package. However, as adrift says - if you feel they are getting out of hand or spoiling your time with your baby then I would mention them to your GP/HV.

I hd quite an extreme version of what you're going through (saw disaster at every turn, basically) and eventually went to GP because it was completely sapping my energy (as well as driving me nuts). GP suspected something called 'hyper-vigilism' - basically reckoned that two v bad/scary birth experiences had shocked the vigilant bit of my brain to go into overdrive. I was referred for hypnosis - which really helped. This might not be the case for you - but it shows that not all parental worrying is completely 'normal' - sometimes it needs to be addressed so you can enjoy your child and your life!

brandnew Mon 21-Mar-05 16:50:57

thankyou to all who answered me- I do feel a little better knowing others felt the same but will mention it to my health visitor as worrying so constantly is completly draining

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