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How will I cope with childbirth? I can't cope with ordinary stuff.

(21 Posts)
fisil Thu 10-Mar-05 12:19:19

As you know, cos I've had so much support from MN people already, I was diagnosed with depression a few weeks back and am off work doing my best to get all well ready for the arrival of no.2 at the beginning of May.

But even stupid little things make me cry. I have, in the past 24 hours lost it over ...

... the fact that I have a cold
... finding out that a very supportive colleague has got a new job

If simple things like these have me crying and feeling that I can't cope with anything, what's the pain of childbirth going to be like? I have no particular issues about the birth, last time I found it a positive (but painful) experience. But I felt strong then, and I don't now.

Has anyone else been through childbirth during depression? Did you cope? How? Is there anything I can do to prepare?

mummytosteven Thu 10-Mar-05 12:25:13

Hi fisil. I would say at the time I had DS I was mostly recovered from depression, and 50% recovered from OCD.

I think I was so taken over by the drama of the event IYSWIM that, even though I had relatively long and painful prelabour, I was very distracted. And during the labour I suspect that two injections of diamorphine had me away with the fairies - and probably a bit too nonchalant at a few of the complications.

What did you do for the last birth? what is your "style" - epidural as soon as, nothing but a gym ball and tens machine? whatever your style, you might feel more in control if you write your birth plan now, and discuss it with your midwife now.

I think at the moment you have to look at the anxiety as being a symptom of the depression, rather than being a real fear, and justs try to sit it through.

If you continue to feel unable to cope like this for longer than a few days, might be worth going back to the docs/midwife/HV whoever's most approach and talking things through as to whether they might want to review medication etc.

CountessDracula Thu 10-Mar-05 12:26:15

fisil so sorry to hear you are down

If it helps at all, I used to cry at anything in the latter stages of my pregnancy. I think you will be ok as hormones etc will kick in.

If there's anything I can do pls let me know - am around tomorrow if you fancy a coffee or something xx

beansprout Thu 10-Mar-05 12:31:58

Fisil, I would say that feeling unwell when you are pregnant and losing a good friend at work are both things I would cry about. No, they are not the worst things in the world but it's ok to be upset about feeling rubbish and losing supportive colleagues. Hope you are ok

dinosaur Thu 10-Mar-05 12:33:27

Fisil have you tried to contact Rhubarb? I remember she suffered horribly with antenatal depression and set up her own website about it which had lots of useful stuff. Unfortunately I don't have a link to it anymore.

All the best, anyway, honey - I'm sorry I have little of use to say, but I am thinking of you

Dinosaur

fisil Thu 10-Mar-05 12:39:10

Thanks everyone. MTS - I like the birthplan idea, I will do that ready for my midwife appt. on Monday.

CD, thanks, it'd be great to meet up, but I do have a stinky cold and am liable to cry, so not great company!

I've used rhubarb's site before, it is great. Yes, I'll go and hang around there too! Thanks dino

dinosaur Thu 10-Mar-05 12:41:28

Like CD, I did get pretty down at times during the latter stages of the last pregnancy, which is why I know about Rhubarb's site as someone (Twiglett perhaps?) sent me a link to it then.

CountessDracula Thu 10-Mar-05 14:59:38

fisil that's ok I too have stinky cold!

fisil Thu 10-Mar-05 18:53:15

Good. I can do a.m. (without ds) or p.m. (with ds). Will you have dd with you tomorrow? I'd love to meet her, in which case what about an afternoon coffee? Where?

CountessDracula Thu 10-Mar-05 20:04:59

I'm easy really, will have dd all day

I guess being Friday morning/lunchtime/early pm would be best to avoid traffic. What time is ds around?

How about meeting in richmond park if it's a nice day? We could go for a waddle/have a cuppa at Roehampton Gate or Pembroke Lodge.

Or I could come and meet you at the Windmill on Wimbledon Common.

CountessDracula Thu 10-Mar-05 20:09:59

will cat you as have lost your email address

CountessDracula Thu 10-Mar-05 20:11:28

Or come over for some lunch or coffee if you fancy!

fisil Thu 10-Mar-05 20:58:40

I've emailed you.

blueteddy Sun 13-Mar-05 13:33:54

I know exactually how you are feeling fisel, as I suffered with depression during my 2nd pregnancy.
I did not know that there was a condition known as anti natal depression & did not seek help, as I felt terrible that I was feeling so down, during what should be such a happy time.
I dont think it effected me during the actual birth, as you are rather pre occupied then!
However, as I had not got any help before ds2's birth, I ended up with PND after he was born & it took AD's & counselling to help me get over it.
I am happy to say that it is all very much in the past (my ds is now nearly 2) but I wish I had done what you have done & confessed how I was feeling while I was still pregnant.
I wish you all the best & hope you are soon feeling much happier.
Feel free to CAT me if you need to, as I know just how you feel.

blueteddy Sun 13-Mar-05 13:35:04

Sorry, I spelt your name wrong!

Prufrock Sun 13-Mar-05 13:47:45

fisil I did not actually have depression during my second pregnancy, but either of those things (and far smaller things) made me cry and want to spend the whole day in bed.
I had a planned c-setion, so didn't really have to "get through" anything, but I did find that once I had had ds I felt like a huge weight had been lifted, from my mind as well as from my belly. And I actually found the first few weeks with a new baby so easy, as anything was easy compared with how crap I'd been feeling all through my pregnancy. I hope you have a similar experience.

fisil Sun 13-Mar-05 13:58:10

Prufrock, thank you for saying that - it makes me feel much more confident about dealing with the baby. I said to my psych last week that I still believe that once the baby is out that I will feel much better. His reply was "we've appointed you a key worker to support you." So it's nice to hear that someone experienced the release that I hope to have.

Blueted, I'm sorry that you experienced all of that - but it's wonderful for me to hear that you got through it. I may well CAT you. Are you named after the 1970s Mothercare blue teds? I still have mine - and I reckon they should rerelease them now for a wave of nostalgia from new parents!

blueteddy Sun 13-Mar-05 14:10:12

I am named after a mothercare blue bear, but it is a 1999 model & is my ds1's all time favourite teddy!
He has a blue body & a white head (I think he is meant to have a blue sleepsuit on!)
He is looking a little worse for wear though, due to being washed so many times that his stuffing has kind of fallen to his feet!
What did the 70's ones look like?

logic Sun 13-Mar-05 14:19:15

fisil, both those things would make me cry so do not feel bad about it. Remember what it's like to get to your due date and be desperate to get the baby out? It'll be ok. You'll probably feel much better once you've had the baby and your body is your own again. {hugs}

fisil Sun 13-Mar-05 19:21:25

Blue Teddy - The '70s one was about a foot tall (from toe to ear) and light blue with a white/cream belly and circles of white for its paws. And a white snout I think. I've just looked on e-bay & google but couldn't find any. I still have mine, and I can remember that nearly all my friends had one! I should do a thread to see how many people had one.

blueteddy Sun 13-Mar-05 19:32:33

I think that is a good idea!!!
Don't think I had 1. I was a deprived child!!!

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