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my dh is depressed and i dont know how to handle it

(4 Posts)
lizandlulu Tue 21-Oct-08 20:09:34

he has been depressed on and off for nearly 3 years.
we were burgled 2 days after having dd and i think it is that which started it off, we moved form that home and bought another, which we then had something else stolen from the garden. dh said everything was fine, but out of the blue he stayed in bed for 2 days, not talking, eating or wanting to talk. i got him to see the gp who put him on some tablets, im not sure what, and arranged councelling.
he went once or twice but didnt feel the need to go again ,and once his prescription ran out about 4 months later he stopped taking the pills.

for the next 2 and half years he has been fairly ok, ups and downs but nothing too bad.

we now live with my parents, his idea and are planning to build in their garden, we are currently waiting for planning permission to be passed.

last week a friend of ours was burgled by 4 masked men ,he was beaten and threatened, and this is set dh off in a bad way again.

he went to the docs today, telling me he had chest pains, which he has had for a very long time and never done anything about, but didnt come back to work, or let anyone know where he was.

he has done this before and he just sent me a message saying 'feeling down, love you, talk later'

he was suicidal before and i was worried he had done something, turned out he had just been driving around for about 7 hours.

i odnt have any experience of depression, and before viewed it as a weekness in people. i cant understand why he is depressed but he worries about things out of his control.

i find it extremely hard to be sympathetic to him and cnat find the right words to help him.

i just needed to get this all out, anyone elses experiences or advice would be very welcome as i dont know how to handle him.

garden Tue 21-Oct-08 23:30:38

So sorry to hear about this. have suffered with dep. all my life and feel for you. Get gp involved-they will speak to you on the phone if you can't get your partner there. he needs medcation and some talking therapy asap. Exercise helps- swimming good, even a walk in fresh air. Also diet I think-just healthy food. Let him know you want to help, are there for him and ask him what he thinks might help. If you can sort childcare, maybe try and go for a swim/ coffee together.
Good luck. Do post again if you want to chat.

lizandlulu Wed 22-Oct-08 08:49:18

he got some citalopram is it?? yesterday from the docs. he has been in bed now for 15 hours, and showing no signs of getting up. dd is poorley so cant leave her with anyone. i asked him if he was getting up but he said no.
i dont want to feel liek i am forcing him to get up ,but i dont think it will help him laying there.

its like he doesnt want ot help himself, just lays there feeling sorry for himself.

mooog Wed 22-Oct-08 09:03:53

There are phone numbers you can phone....a lot of which are freefone....for you to talk to someone about how you can cope with your dh depression and advice what can be done to help him. Just look in directory for numbers and good luck!!!

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