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Why is it so hard to meet people?

(15 Posts)
lunavix Wed 02-Mar-05 18:14:55

I'm sorry this is going to sound really selfpitying but I'm feeling really down right now, me and dp have lived in this area 5 months and I just feel really lonely. Like on another thread talking about how many close friends you have, all ours live a few hours away and I really hate it during the day cos me and ds have noone to actually spend any time with We go to baby groups but they've all known each other for years and we aren't really part of the 'group' so during the day MN is the only way I really get to just chat to people.

Why is it so hard? Is it just me? Sorry I'm just feeling really depressed atm, dp is at uni tonight, and it really hits home that we have no friends around here, and tbh only a few close ones at all. I don't think we are bad people I just really hope ds finds it easier to make friends.

Kayleigh Wed 02-Mar-05 18:16:04

lunavix, that must be hard. How old is your ds ?
I made some very good friends when my ds1 started local school.

lunavix Wed 02-Mar-05 18:16:36

10 months

It's sad I'm actually looking forward to him starting pre-school to meet more people

SeaShells Wed 02-Mar-05 18:19:48

Lunavix sounds like you are in the same position as me, I moved to this area in Oct and as yet haven't managed to make friends at all, they all seem to know each other already and I feel like an outsider and finding it really hard to push my way in IYKWIM, I talked to one of the mums at the school for the very first time today!

Kayleigh Wed 02-Mar-05 18:20:57

Really sorry - what about neighbours (I don't just mean either side). Anyone that has kids same age ? Maybe you could suggest a play date, walk round the park etc etc.

Frizbe Wed 02-Mar-05 18:23:13

oh {{{hugs}}} to you Lunavix you sound so down...where do you live, r u near any other mumsnetters? It is hard trying to get into some of the mums groups round where I live too, they all seem to have known each other for ages (and I've moved into the area too) I think you have to tough it out sometimes and keep going and eventually you'll make a few friends, have you tried to get to know anyone enough to arrange a play date?

lunavix Wed 02-Mar-05 18:26:29

We are an end terrace, the person on our other side is horrid

She's a mum to teenagers, she hasn't even ever said hello to us even though we do all the time. We think she thinks we reported her to the rspca, she has a dog and goes on holiday and leaves it locked inside for weeks (its a small house and a big dog), with someone coming occassionally to let it out. It wasn't us, but I'm sure she thinks it was :/

SeaShells Wed 02-Mar-05 18:27:59

Where abouts are you Lunavix?

lunavix Wed 02-Mar-05 18:28:01

The rest of the people on the street seem to be a lot older (late 50s onwards) except one other mum who doesn't speak english...

I know we'll be moving when dp gets his degree, I think I really want to chose an area with lots of people so we can makes friends. Guess you can't predict if they'll like you though

lunavix Wed 02-Mar-05 18:28:43

Berkshire.. theres not a lot of mums on here around this area. Not driving really doesn't help, I know I need to learn but we just can't afford it atm.

Niddlynono Wed 02-Mar-05 19:09:05

I'm from Berkshire - where abouts are you? Although I live in London at the moment I'm moving back there later this year.

I've found it difficult to meet people too. I really regret not making more of an effort at ante natal classes but as in the case of the baby groups you go to it's not always easy to strike up conversation when most of the others are in groups with people they've known for ages. I also work freelance so it's been difficult for me to be able to plan much in advance.

I think that MumsNet is a good way to meet new people though - I've already chatted to 2 mums today who live near me and have said that they'd like to meet up which is really reassuring and exciting.

Why don't you have a look at the meet up section to find a thread which is relevant to your area.

megandsoph Fri 04-Mar-05 10:34:51

Bloody hell was just about to write a new thread saying the exactaly same thing until I read this, I feel exactly the same and very trapped as my friends and family live over 300 miles away. I don't know anyone here and have been here for two years now.... I wouldn't mind I only moved here to be near my parents as I used to be in the army and after DD1 was born I left... At the moment I am self employed and have put my girls in with a childminder during working hours just so they can have a social life as I belive its really important for them to see other children.... but it is so hard when it comes to the weekend and i'm sat here with just the little ones to have a conversation with oh and mums on this website ( which is like my life line) but I just wat to be able to nip round someones house for a coffee and a chat like I used to.... If I get this problem sorted I will defiently ;et u know hun if you can do the same


megandsoph Fri 04-Mar-05 10:42:54

Know what u mean hun bout ur neighbour... i'm end terrace too I have had to move DD2 into her sisters room as DD2 has asthma and suffers with coughing alot in the night and her old room is next to the neighbours bed room and as she's been whinging that DD2 is keeping her awake I have moved her in with DD1 just to keep the peice Grrrr

albosmum Fri 04-Mar-05 10:50:23

To lunavix
HAve exactly the same problem friends 100 miles away Plus, Family 200 miles away plus. Spend alot of time on the phone.

But what I do is everyday I have an activity gym, m&B, storytime etc even if its onlty for an hour or two because it gets me out and DS socialising and makes the day more fun. If I do saty at home I do sometimes dwell on the situation.

I think I have realised that I just have to accept that by my age firm friendships are already I have mine they are just not close and we see each other at weekends.

So you are not alone just keep trying, join groups etc.

Plus good advice I was given - get to groups early then you can usually find someone to chat to.

morocco Fri 04-Mar-05 10:57:35

have you tired telling other people at mums groups etc how you feel? I know I would make an extra effort to invite someone over for a chat if I realised that they didn't know many people in the area etc. Otherwise I might just assume they were not really looking to make friends iyswim?

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