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Is it really worth it?

(6 Posts)
Britney Wed 02-Mar-05 13:47:35

I started counselling 2 weeks ago in an attempt to deal with my depression. Basically, ever since ds was born (now 17 months old) I've found adjusting to having 2 kids really difficult. Up until now, dh & I have patched things up when I got really down - trip to New York alone, he's taken time off work to help out & give me time alone. But we both decided that we needed to sort things out properly this time. His employers provide access to a counselling service, and we decided that this would be a definite step in the right direction.

I have not ever found ds an easy child - he is the complete opposite of his sister, who in retrospect was a piece of p*! My biggest problem with him is his hair-pulling. From about 4 months he pulled my hair, then as he got more mobile he started pulling any hair he could get his hands on. Now he only pulls dd's, to the extent that she has bald patches on the top of her head! I've sought advice from all over the place about what to do with him, but he persisits.

Today, I spent a whole hour talking to my counsellor about ds's hair pulling. Whilst this is a problem, it is not the sole reason (I think) for my depression. I'm just fed up of being a mum & frustrated with this. I've lost all my confidence since becoming a parent, I find it really hard to talk to anyone about how I'm feeling & am basically a complete mess inside. A today a man who I thought would start to make me better about myself and help me work through my problems, has made me feel like a terrible mother because my son continues to pull his sister's hair! Inside I was screaming at him "It's not all about them, what about me!"

So is all this really worth it! I feel like I've hit a brick wall.

Caribbeanqueen Wed 02-Mar-05 13:52:21

Sorry you are feeling so bad britney. Do you mean that the counsellor made you feel bad? How did he do that - what did he say?

Pinotmum Wed 02-Mar-05 13:54:51

Try a few more sessions and see what happens. It may turn out this guy's not for you but another councillor may be better. Can you write down how you feel and bring it along to the next session to "keep you on track" if need be.

jangly Wed 02-Mar-05 13:58:42

I suppose he felt that if he could sort out the hair pulling, that would be one of your main problems out of the way. Perhaps next session he will put this to one side and talk about your other problems.

Cranberry Wed 02-Mar-05 17:12:12

Are you a SAHM?

Britney Wed 02-Mar-05 17:59:12

Yes, Cranberry I am a SAHM. Dd is at nursery school full-time, and ds goes for 2 mornings a week, when I normally study & catch up on housework. The counsellor told me that ds's hair pulling had become a habit & suggested that I could have approached things differently to prevent this. At one point he suggested that I do not leave dd & ds alone together for any length of time as this is often when he pulls her hair. He just made me feel that I had not handled the situation very well & that I was to blame for it continuing.

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