can't bear having to go out in the big wide world today

[Titania]

supposed to go into town today to get costumes for the kids to dress up in for school on thursday with it being world book day. that means i got to keep dd off nursery and take her and ds2 with me. its pouring with rain and the thought of going out is making me break into a sweat and feel sick and dizzy. I ran out of ads on saturday. got to pick up my prescription later when i go for my couselling. I am dreading that. i feel so tired and weak.......dh has been pestering to go out for my birthday this week but tbh I am really not up to going out.

[Cod]

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[Cod]

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[miam]

Can't you leave it until tomorrow? The weather is absolutely abismal here too. From the way you sound today, going to counselling is enough for one day. It's more important for you to make it out of the house for that and your prescription. x

[Fastasleep]

Hi Titania...not much time to send a longwinded heartfelt message, but I can empathise with you I really can there are so many days when I feel like that abut going out.... just as long as you know you're not the only one big hugs hun

[Titania]

dd wouldnt be able to go to nursery cos its only for 2 and a half hours and i cant get there and back in time. I feel drained already

[Titania]

right.im going....feel so sick and faint and im crying and shaking like mad....am half debating just coming home after dropping ds1 off at school......

[MummytoSteven]

best of luck with getting into town today.

make sure you tell the counsellor about the "crash" last week; partly so you can talk about how to prevent it happening again, but also look at the reasons for the crash, and whether there might be something about the type of counselling the counsellor is using that is putting you under a lot of stress/giving you too many flashbacks of bad times.

sounds like part of the reason you feel so bad is being off the ads since Saturday - never a good idea to withdraw cold turkey! not nice, but hey at least an explanation

agree with cod that if you can go out - something nice and non-scarey like the cinema it probably will be better - at the very least make DH feel a bit more romantic taking you out!!!

[Evesmama]

titania honey

do you get any 'help'? family or otherwise?..you need a break, i know easier said than done, but some cope with things better than others and your like me!, we dont cope very well at minute, but this is not "you"!, this is depression, pnd or otherwise and you need a little bit of 'you' before being mummy back to get yoursself into perspective...i hope youve got someone you can call on.xxx

[Cod]

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[anorak]

Titania, going back to the original problem...is there a friend or neighbour who can organise the costumes for you? Any teenage girls living nearby who like to make things?

[Titania]

well i am back.....it was horrendous. Had 2 panic attacks...one in woolworths and one on the train station. One woman was adament I should go to hospital... I didn't get anything for ds1. I couldnt afford to spent £15-£20 in a costume just for one day..... Will have to have a think!!

I dont want to tell the cousellor about last weeks crash. She will lock me away for sure.
Evesmama there are only the inlaws but they are always so busy.
Cod I am intrigued as to why you thought of me in tescos!!!

[Cod]

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[anorak]

Cod is right titania. You need a lot more help. No one will lock you away if you go and seek help. Seeking the help you need when depressed is seen as a sign that you are aware you need treatment and so why would anyone lock you away?

I feel you were half-joking when you said that but still, it must be preying on your mind to have come out at all.

[LIZS]

Sorry you feel so low atm, titania, but think you do need to come clean about the extent of the problem if others are to help you.

As regards the costume, what had ds1 in mind - I'm sure the MNetters can put their collective thinking caps on and come up with something not too elaborate.

[nutcracker]

Hiya mate, i think you do need to let on to your counciller that things aren't going well.

If you don't want to admit to last weeks crash then don't but don't let her think that everything is fine cos then she can't help you.

Have Ds1 and Dd got to have costumes ??

[anorak]

And of course you must tell the counsellor. That is what she is there for. She can't possibly do her job properly if you're not honest with her.

The trouble is that when we are depressed we always feel like hypochondriacs - if I could only pull myself together, if I could only stop focussing on me, if I could only stop being so boring, and useless, and selfish...

But the fact is the illness itself is making you think these things. You are in need of treatment and just as entitled to it and deserving of it as if you had fallen and broken you arm. Tell your counsellor everything and receive the help you need.

You worry about your family but it is not a gift to them if you try to carry on like this.

[Fastasleep]

Aw Titania you poor thing no one's going to lock you away love! Your counsellor's there to help you as much as he/she possibly can...I hope it helps you!

[nutcracker]

I know you said that the counciller had said that if she thought you were going to harm yourself she would have to put you in hospital but it wouldn't be as cut and dried as that surely.

[Cod]

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[wobblyknicks]

Sorry Titania, everyone else is right, you need the support you deserve. Sorry you're still feeling so low xxxxxx

[rickman]

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[Cod]

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[Titania]

no idea cod!

[Cod]

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[Titania]

i dont know.


I am supposed to be seeing my counsellor at 3 today.....the thing is i am only allowed 6 sessions with her.... TBH I think its going to take a lot longer than that to defrazzled my messed up head....